考研英語看圖作文範例點評：追星族
看圖作文在英語作文中是大家普遍缺乏練習的一種類型，一個提高的方式就是看範例和點評，針對其中的錯誤進行自我修正。
追星族：
寫作原文
As is subtly portrayed in the drawing, the picture on the left illustrates a young boy wrote(改爲writing或者with) a famous football player'(加s,即player’s) name,(去掉)——Beckham ,(去掉) on his face, (句子較複雜，可改爲a young boy has the word “Beckham ”,the name of a famous football player, written on his face) and the other picture on the right illustrates a young man who wants to have a hair style of Beckham and spends on 300RMB(改爲which needs 300RMB). These pictures illustrate(加 that)the worship of star(改爲the stars，或把整體改爲idol-worshipping) is popular in the modern e are some factors contribute(改爲contributing) to this phenomenon. The first factor(加is) that the ideology of young individuals in modern society is not independence(改爲independent, independence是名詞). They do not know that(去掉) what is worth to hold (改爲what to hold)and what is(去掉) they really want or need. The second factor(加is) that the atmosphere of the modern society is not very benefit(改爲beneficial，benefit是動詞) to the development of young folks. With the dissemination of TVs, magazines and so forth, the environment of worship of star(改爲idol-worshipping) is increasing popularity(改爲becoming increasingly popular). So it can influence young person(加s) always and my point of view, the preference of individual, there is no one right or wrong choice(句式混亂，改爲there’s no right or wrong regards to individuals’ preference). Because various folks take different attitudes toward(改爲towards) the phenomenon of worship, many may like while other(改爲others) may not. But I deem, as college students, we should put our vigour on learning rather than pursuing star(改爲stars).
總體點評
文章存在很多語法上的問題，尤其是比較細緻的問題，還有標點符號運用有誤，作者在完成習作後應認真檢查，避免不必要的錯誤。此外，詞彙量少，比如在第一段一直重複illustrate這個單詞，平時可以多積累一些詞彙，在運用的時候注意變換。句型也相對較爲單一，多總結模仿經典句型，提高自己的寫作水平，爲自己的習作增彩。作者可以從大量熟讀經典範文入手，積累知識，自己勤於練習。
參考分數(滿分20分)：10
英語寫作水平的提升需要不斷地練習，在改正錯誤中不斷取得進步，不怕犯錯誤，怕明知道犯錯誤卻不面對。看了範文和點評，希望大家有思考，有提高。
