考研英語看圖作文範例點評：志願者

看圖作文在英語作文中是大家普遍缺乏練習的一種類型，一個提高的方式就是看範例和點評，針對其中的錯誤進行自我修正。

志願者：

寫作原文

The drawing indicates a long banner with the word “volunteer” and a website about volunteering on it, and lots of people is(改爲are，主語爲people，謂語動詞用複數)portarying(拼寫錯誤，改爲portraying) the outline of their hands to show sportive(改爲support，此處應表示的是人們對志願者服務的支持，且show爲動詞，後面應接名詞作賓語，而sportive爲adj.，表示“運動的”)le as it is,the picture reveals an exciting phenomenon that more and more people are willing to be volunteers. As the society developments(改爲develops，此處應該使用動詞形式), our material comforts are considerably enhanced, thus, we are capable of the time and energy to help others. At the same time, with(去掉，若使用with，句子則無主語) the moral climate is getting better, which is under everybody's efforts,(加and，兩個句子之間應該用連詞連接)the members of these volunteering organizations are mostly never asking for any rewards either on fame or money,so that the organizations can survive easily. It is hopeful that we will enjoy a more harmony(改爲harmonious，more後面應該跟形容詞，且後面的society爲名詞，應該用形容詞修飾) society in the future,if the things develope like efore,when we are eager to show our kindness,it is really necessary to keep our mind clear. For one thing, one should never give up once he begins to be a volunteer. For another,volunteer work is also a (去掉a，responsibility爲抽象名詞，不能用不定冠詞修飾，)responsiblity(拼寫錯誤，改爲responsibility) (建議改爲volunteer work also needs responsibility), just as our normal work, so do try our best.

總體點評

文章構思不錯，但結尾較爲倉促，說服力不強。文中還是存在一些基本的語法問題，作者後面應該加強;其次，注意詞性的正確使用;再者，建議作者在文章句子上下功夫，儘量擺脫漢語思維模式，多記多模仿一些高分佳句，並將其熟練運用於自己的文章中，使自己的作文水平不斷提升。

參考分數(滿分20分)：12

英語寫作水平的提升需要不斷地練習，在改正錯誤中不斷取得進步，不怕犯錯誤，怕明知道犯錯誤卻不面對。看了範文和點評，希望大家有思考，有提高。