考研英語看圖作文範例點評：堵車

看圖作文在英語作文中是大家普遍缺乏練習的一種類型，一個提高的方式就是看範例和點評，針對其中的錯誤進行自我修正。

堵車：

寫作原文

As is indicated in the cartoon above, a big crowd of drivers stay in cars on the road, waiting for their turn to go, with patience almost running up(表達不準確且句子缺成分，根據圖片可改爲and even some people want to hold the car to go out of the long queue) fact, nowadays, this phenomenon reflected by the picture is so widespread, especially in super(super改爲big，super表示“超級”，用在此處不合適)cities. Thanks to the fast development of economy, we have a chance to experience the more(去掉the more，rich爲單音節形容詞，其比較級直接在後面加-er即可) richer life. As a result of that,(第一句用thanks to表示原因，第二句用as a result of that也表示原因，這樣有點繁瑣，建議將兩句話合爲一句話，可改爲and)the number of people who own cars is larger and larger. The once wide roads become narrow (漢語式英語，可改爲The wide roads before become narrow now). In order to get to destination(改爲destinations，每個人的目的地不一樣，應用複數形式)on time, people have to set up (改爲set out，set up意爲“建立，創立”；set out爲“出發”，注意短語的正確選擇) earlier in case of being blocked. By the way, discharging too much carbon-dioxide to the air would(改爲will) destroy the environment. Therefore, it is imperative for us to take measures to change the fact. The simplest method is to diminish the times(改爲time，time在表示“時間”時，爲不可數名詞，當“次數”講時爲可數名詞) of using private transportations. There is no doubt the world would change into a better place for us to live benefited from all the efforts we devote.(漢語式英語，可改爲There is no doubt that the world will be better for us to live in as long as all of us devote our efforts.)

總體點評

文章中存在一些細節問題，比如詞彙的選擇和一些基礎的語法知識。作者在寫作完之後若可以花費幾分鐘時間來回讀文章，便會減少此類問題，從而避免失分。同時，建議結合《寫作160篇》的指導，認真複習，積累經典句型，避免漢語式英語的表達，不斷提高自己的寫作水平。

參考分數(滿分20分)：11

英語寫作水平的提升需要不斷地練習，在改正錯誤中不斷取得進步，不怕犯錯誤，怕明知道犯錯誤卻不面對。看了範文和點評，希望大家有思考，有提高。