考研英語看圖作文範例點評：啃老族

看圖作文在英語作文中是大家普遍缺乏練習的一種類型，一個提高的方式就是看範例和點評，針對其中的錯誤進行自我修正。

啃老族：

寫作原文

As is vividly depicted in the picture, a father has received a letter from his son, on which without anything except(改爲but)a word: money. It reveals a serious issue of (改爲in)our society: more and more people live off their parents, even if they are old enough. We call the people who is(建議刪掉，直接用簡單句表達即可) "boomerang kids".A careful analysis of cartoon may reveals some reasons under the problem, which involves three causes. For one thing, Chinese parents indulge their children so that it takes few(改爲little，few修飾可數名詞，little修飾不可數名詞) time to develop their children(改爲children's，孩子們的) independence. In addition(建議改爲For another，與前面For one thing對應起來), the boomerang kids may never realize the hard working and enterprising spirit is(改爲are，賓語從句的主語用and連接，謂語動詞用複數)a magic weapon to make their life pleasant, efficient,(加and)successful. Last but not least, the education in our school, especailly(拼寫錯誤，改爲especially)university, attach(改爲attaches) more importance to academic marks, which ignores the significance of students' independence ablilty(拼寫錯誤，改爲ability). In order to solve these issues, both family and school should join hands to create an free atmosphere to spirit the young people take care of themselves, while at the same time, the boomerang kids(改爲kids') efforts are indispensible, (加and，兩個句子之間用連詞連接)they should change the lazy behaviors. To conclude my essay, I would like to quote an old saying "a young idler, an old beggar".

總體點評

整體來說，文章寫得不錯；但還存在個別簡單的語法錯誤。作者在寫作完之後若可以花費幾分鐘時間來回讀文章，便會減少不必要的錯誤。考研英語作文的整體思路你已經基本掌握，後面要做的就是多積累高分佳句，爲自己的文章增彩；再者，寫完之後一定要認真檢查，減少失分點。

參考分數(滿分20分)：13

英語寫作水平的提升需要不斷地練習，在改正錯誤中不斷取得進步，不怕犯錯誤，怕明知道犯錯誤卻不面對。看了範文和點評，希望大家有思考，有提高。