社交課堂：如何跟充滿負能量的人打交道

If you don’t like something, change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. – Mary Engelbreit
如果你討厭什麼，就改變它；如果你不能改變，就改變你的態度。——瑪麗·恩格爾布賴特

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.
不論外面的天氣如何，有些人頭上總是陰雲密佈。他們的負面態度對你自己的情緒也有害處，你也許覺得對此你無能爲力。

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
但事實並非如此。

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.
如果你想有效對付那些負能量的人，成爲正能量的擁護者，最好的辦法就是採取下面的這些措施。

1. Limit the time you spend with them
限制和他們相處的時間

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.
首先我們要明白這一點。你可能比卡通人物還要積極樂觀，但即使這樣，你的激情還是有可能被某位朋友的持續負能量所折磨。

In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.
事實上，負能量會損害你的健康，讓你容易受到壓力過大甚至心臟疾病的侵害，這一點已經被證實了。我們沒有理由因爲他人的壞情緒而受到傷害。

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.
雖然做到這一點要根據你自身的情況，可能會有點難辦。但試着少和負能量的人相處會防止你自己的精神也受到影響。

2. Speak up for yourself
爲自己發聲

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.
不要只是默默吸收了你不停聽到的那些評論，尤其當它們和你有關時。聰明的做法是快速傾聽，慢慢說話。但是如果太沉默，給人的印象就是你已經接受了他們所說的話。

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”
不要假裝他們的表現沒問題

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.
這是一個很容易掉入的陷阱。要向這些人指出他們持續的負能量不是一件好事。我們不想這樣做是因爲讓別人沉浸在他們的痛苦之中要容易得多，我們更願意置身事外。

But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.
但如果你爲了他們好，就不要給他們這個錯誤的印象，讓他們以爲自己的負能量是正常的。4. Don’t make their problems your problems
不要把他們的問題變成你的問題

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.
雖然我認爲同情心是一份禮物，但它可能很危險。當我們聽見某個朋友或者家人的抱怨，我們總是和他們一起承擔起了煩惱。

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.
這是一個壞習慣，尤其如果這個人總是滿身負能量。這種人很可能爲了博取同情而包裝出一個故事。

Why else would they be sharing this with you?
否則他們爲什麼要和你分享這些負面的事情呢？

5. Change the subject
改變話題

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.
當你懷疑一場對話即將開始討論負面話題，改變這個話題，贏得正能量。當然，你這樣做的時候也不能忽略對方所談論的內容。

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.
聽聽他們的評論，但不要等到他們開始向你抱怨而收穫快樂，趕快轉移話題。

6. Talk about solutions, not problems
談論解決辦法，而不是問題本身

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.
有時候，如果你想要對付那些負能量的人，改變話題行不通。但這並不意味着你就無法積極一些。

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.
我明白，當有人開始向我抱怨時，我一時不知道該說些什麼。其實關鍵在於你可以就問題的解決辦法做出迴應。

You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”
你可以問一些問題，比如“那該怎麼解決呢？”或者“你覺得他們怎麼想？”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.
利用你的洞察力，找出一個可以幫助你的朋友解決辦法的合適迴應。

7. Leave them behind
別管他們

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.
很遺憾，有時候我們是在沒辦法理會這些朋友，尤其當你已經竭盡全力想要建立一種積極的關係。

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.
如果他是你的家人，當然你們還有關係，但你也許依然應該限制他們對你的幸福所帶來的影響。