如何在社交中成爲最有魅力的人

I know you can think of a time when you were networking and a very smiley, ambitious attendee came up and shook your hand, eagerly offering their business card and a 20 minute spiel of what they do. No matter what their line of work, you're instantaneously bored just because of how they started the conversation. That's because nobody actually enjoys listening to others talk about themselves. Certainly not a long ramble without an invitation.

想象一下，在一次社交活動中，一個笑容燦爛，有雄心的參與者過來跟你握手，接着熱心地遞給你名片，同時針對他的工作進行了20分鐘的高談闊論。不管他們從事什麼行業，你會立刻覺得反感，僅僅由於他們搭訕的方式。實際上，那是因爲沒有人喜歡聽對方談論他們自己。當然，沒有邀請函的一次漫遊除外。

But even though you might be annoyed by the idea, can you also remember a time when you were at a similar event and then ended up being that person?

但即使你可能被這件事打擾了，可你也許會想起，某次，你也處於類似的事件中，而結果你就是那個“參與者”？

Maybe it happened because you actually think what you do is interesting to everyone or you were nervous about what you should be doing in that environment and you were just trying to fill conversation.

也許類似情況發生過，由於你認爲，你所做的對每個人來說是件有趣味的事，或者是你在那種場合下，對自己該怎樣做感到很緊張，僅僅是儘量做到有話可說。

But doing this is how you end up further back from where you started.

但這樣做恰恰會導致最終結果更背離你的初衷。

When you approach the idea of networking as a ‘do or die' situation, you're going to get nothing (especially valuable contacts) out of it. In a world full of social media generated conversation, “building relationships” is one of the biggest buzz phrases — and with good reason. You're not going to be remembered unless you've provided value . And blabbering on and on to grow awareness of what you do professionally and how you can be hired isn't valuable. You need to go above and beyond to be different than everyone else by tailoring the conversation to always benefit others. These steps will help you become the most interesting person in the room (even if you're an introvert) and grow a strong and valuable network of people:

當你處於“決一死戰”的社交情形時，你從中什麼也得不到（特別是有價值的信息）。在這個以談話交流作爲社交媒介的世界裏，“建立社交網絡”是最熱門的詞彙，且有足夠的理由那樣做。你不會被人記住，除非你給了他們 好處 。胡扯你專業意識的提升和你如何能被僱傭，是毫無價值的。如果你要出席一場社交活動，應該追求從中獲利的最大化。 你需要超越自己，做到與衆不同，還要精簡談話內容從而獲益。這將使你在特定空間內成爲最有魅力的人（即使你是性格內向的人），並使你變成一個強大而有價值的社交達人：

picky about giving out business cards. When someone approaches me with a business card in my hand before I can even introduce myself, they're already dismissed as someone I would be interested in learning about. You are not more legitimate to me if you printed your information on a fancy piece of paper. You've only wasted more trees by giving them to people you don't know are interested in working with you. Carry only a couple of cards with you at a time and don't even pull your wallet out to trade until you've had a conversation that would lead you to believe there is a possibility to work together or help grow your networks. (Don't feel bad if you run out. You were just that popular.)

1.設定在分發名片上。 當有人接近我，甚至在我還沒自我介紹，就順手把名片遞給我時，那麼我可以不理他們，因爲他們認爲我理應去認識他們。把你的個人信息印在一張奇幻的紙上，對我來說，是非常合理的。給那些在場的陌生人分發奇幻的紙，你僅僅是浪費了些木材，但他們會覺得跟你合作一定很有趣。每次僅隨身帶些紙牌，甚至你不用拿出皮夾子去交換名片，你已經獲得了談話機會，那會促使別人考慮與你合作的的可能性或擴大了你的社交範圍。（假如用完了也不要泄氣。反正你也出名了。）

the elevator speech. The idea of having a pitch ready before you even arrive should make you want to gag. Because it will definitely have that effect on your unexpecting audience. You don't need to recite business goodness to impress. Just feel out the environment and go with the flow. Obviously you'll be asked what you do for a living because that's what we have been trained to do in conversation. What will really intrigue is if you take this opportunity to explain how you help people reach their goals. When phrased this way, it makes you sound like a superhero. To give you an example, if you and I met I would say that “I help businesses grow brand awareness and increase sales by teaching and helping create content with social video”. That's much more interesting than the typical ‘position, title, and opportunities I'm open to' speech. I've shaped my explanation to lead to relevant conversation that will leave an impression on my audience, possibly triggering referrals or perhaps looking at their own needs to see how I can help them.

2.直奔主題。 在到達之前你就有這種超前想法，也許會讓你有種想要嘔吐的感覺。因爲它將會對你不期待的聽衆產生重要影響。你不需要背誦商業道德來加深印象。只要摸清環境，順其自然就行。很明顯你會被問到，你是做什麼謀生的，因爲那就是我們培訓中提到的談話時所要做的事。真正的詭計是你是否利用這個機會來講解你是如何幫助人們達到他們目標。如果這樣措辭，會使你聽起來像個超級英雄。舉個例子，假如我和你偶遇，我會說：“通過教學和輔導創作社交視頻，我能提高企業品牌知名度並提高銷售量。”那樣與對‘我所擁有的職位、頭銜和機會'的傳統演講相比，會更有吸引力。我已經形成了針對相關談話的獨特演講能力，這樣會給我的聽衆留下好印象，或許會被舉薦，或許會根據他們所需看我怎樣能幫助他們。

't talk. Ask questions and then listen. Like I said before, no one likes to hear other people talk about themselves. But they will think you're the most interesting person in the world if you want to know more about them. So ask questions and listen. Learn about the people you're networking with and actually build upon a meaningful conversation that will make exchanging business cards more effective in the end. The more you ask about them, the more they will want to know about you for being interested in them.

3.不要閒聊，提出問題然後傾聽。 正如我前面所說，沒有人喜歡聽對方談論他們自己。但是，如果你想要更多地瞭解他們，你就得傾聽，讓他們覺得你是世上最有魅力的人。因此，提出問題，然後傾聽。更多地瞭解將與你交往的人，並真實地建立一次有意義的談話，它最終會使交換名片變得更有影響力。你提問得越多，他們將會越想了解你，因爲你對他們有興趣。