社交課堂：改變肢體語言 18招讓你自信滿滿！

There is no specific advice on how to use your body language. What you do might be interpreted in several ways, depending on the setting and who you are talking to. You’ll probably want to use your body language differently when talking to your boss compared to when you talk to a girl/guy you’re interested in. These are some common interpretations of body language and often more effective ways to communicate with your body.
其實如何使用肢體語言並沒有什麼明確的建議。畢竟，隨着環境和說話對象的不同，你的肢體語言也會產生不同的理解。和自己老闆又或是喜歡的女生/男生聊天時，你的肢體語言當然會不一樣啦。下面是對肢體語言的一般理解，能讓你和自己的身體更好的協調溝通哦。

First, to change your body language you must be aware of your body language. Notice how you sit, how you stand, how you use you hands and legs, what you do while talking to someone.
首先，要改變自己的肢體語言，你必須先要意識到它。注意一下自己的坐姿和站姿、手勢和腿的動作，以及和別人說話時你都會怎麼表現。

You might want to practice in front of a mirror. Yeah, it might seem silly but no one is watching you. This will give you good feedback on how you look to other people and give you an opportunity to practise a bit before going out into the world.
也許你會想在鏡子前面練習練習，似乎有點傻，但沒人會知道的，怕啥呀。這種練習會給你反饋，告訴你你在別人眼中的印象，也算是讓你進入現實世界之前，給自己一個練習的機會。

Another tip is to close your eyes and visualize how you would stand and sit to feel confident, open and relaxed or whatever you want to communicate. See yourself move like that version of yourself. Then try it out.
還有一點，你可以閉上眼睛想象一下如何讓自己的站姿和坐姿看起來更自信、大方以及放鬆，再想想你想交流的東西。用旁觀者的眼光來評價自己，然後就大膽的表現出來吧。

You might also want observe friends, role models, movie stars or other people you think has good body language. Observe what they do and you don’t. Take bits and pieces you like from different people. Try using what you can learn from them.
你也可能會想借鑑朋友們，模特，電影明星或其他舉止優雅的人們的行爲習慣。看看他們有什麼好的舉止，你還缺哪些。從不同的人身上慢慢學，然後把學到的用在自己身上吧。

1. Don’t cross your arms or legs
不要交叉手臂或腿

You have probably already heard you shouldn’t cross your arms as it might make you seem defensive or guarded. This goes for your legs too. Keep your arms and legs open.
你應該聽過不要交叉手臂，這樣會讓你看起來處於防備狀態且具有攻擊性。腿最好也不要交叉起來哦，讓手臂和腿自然點吧。

2. Have eye contact, but don’t stare
眼神交流很必要，但別盯着別人看

If there are several people you are talking to, give them all some eye contact to create a better connection and see if they are listening. Keeping too much eye-contact might creep people out. Giving no eye-contact might make you seem insecure. If you are not used to keeping eye-contact it might feel a little hard or scary in the beginning but keep working on it and you’ll get used to it.
如果你同時和好幾個人說話，不時地給他們一些眼神交流有助於交際，也能知曉他們是否在傾聽。然而過多的眼神交流也許會把人嚇跑哦。完全不給眼神交流會讓別人覺得你這個人躲躲閃閃不可信。如果你覺得眼神交流很困難抑或會害怕，也要克服一下，不久你就會習慣啦。

3. Don’t be afraid to take up some space
多去佔用一些空間

Taking up space by for example sitting or standing with your legs apart a bit signals self-confidence and that you are comfortable in your own skin.
比如兩腿分開的坐着或站着能增添自信，還能透露你對自己的狀態感到很舒服哦。

4. Relax your shoulders
放鬆肩膀

When you feel tense it’s easily winds up as tension in your shoulders. They might move up and forward a bit. Try to relax. Try to loosen up by shaking the shoulders a bit and move them back slightly.
感到緊張的時候總是不自覺地收緊肩膀，於是肩膀就會向上且向前傾。試着放鬆，擺動一下肩膀，把肩膀有意識的後傾點吧。

5. Nod when they are talking
傾聽時別忘了點頭

Nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. But don’t overdo it and peck like Woody Woodpecker.
時不時點頭是你在傾聽的信號。但千萬別過頭了，把自己變成成啄木鳥伍迪了哦。

6. Don’t slouch, sit up straight
別耷拉着，坐直了

But in a relaxed way, not in a too tense manner.
但也不用太拘謹哦，放鬆點就好了。

7. Lean, but not too much
斜靠着，別太過

If you want to show that you are interested in what someone is saying, lean toward the person talking. If you want to show that you’re confident in yourself and relaxed lean back a bit. But don’t lean in too much or you might seem needy and desperate for some approval. Or lean back too much or you might seem arrogant and distant.
如果你想表現對別人說的話感興趣，就稍微向說話的那個人傾斜一點。如果你想表現的是自信，那就稍微往後仰一點吧。但也別太過頭哦，太靠近會讓你看起來急於得到別人的認可，往後仰的太過會讓你有距離感。

8. Smile and laugh
微笑和大笑

Lighten up, don’t take yourself too seriously. Relax a bit, smile and laugh when someone says something funny. People will be a lot more inclined to listen to you if you seem to be a positive person. But don’t be the first to laugh at your own jokes, it makes you seem nervous and needy. Smile when you are introduced to someone but don’t keep a smile plastered on your face, you’ll seem insincere.
笑起來，別板着個臉啦。放鬆點，別人說好玩的事情的時候不妨微笑或大笑。如果你是個陽光的人，人們也會更樂意與你交流哦。但自己的笑話，千萬別第一個笑，這樣只會讓你看起來又緊張又忐忑。當朋友把你介紹給新的人認識時，時可以臉上帶微笑，但也別一直笑，否則會看起來不真誠。

9. Don’t touch your face
別摸臉

it might make you seem nervous and can be distracting for the listeners or the people in the conversation.
這會讓你更緊張，還會分散交談中聽者的注意力。

10. Keep your head up
別低頭

Don’t keep your eyes on the ground, it might make you seem insecure and a bit lost. Keep your head up straight and your eyes towards the horizon.
別一直看地上啦，會讓你看起來不真誠外加分心哦。把頭擡起來，眼神也專注點吧。11. Slow down a bit
慢一點

This goes for many things. Walking slower not only makes you seem more calm and confident, it will also make you feel less stressed. If someone addresses you, don’t snap your neck in their direction, turn it a bit more slowly instead.
很多事都需要慢一點。走慢點，你不僅能更鎮定和自信，還能讓自己減少壓力感。如果有人喊你，別立馬伸着脖子去迴應，慢慢的回頭反而會更好哦。

12. Don’t fidget and try to avoid, phase out or transform fidgety movement and nervous ticks such as shaking your leg or tapping your fingers against the table rapidly.
別坐立不安，也別不斷地換姿勢，或是通過抖腿或不時用手指敲打桌子來傳達自己的緊張。

You’ll seem nervous and fidgeting can be a distracting when you try to get something across. Declutter your movements if you are all over the place. Try to relax, slow down and focus your movements.
想克服什麼困難，坐立不安只會讓你分心和緊張。穩住自己，放鬆，慢下來，專心自己的行動吧。

13. Use your hands more confidently instead of fidgeting with your hands and scratching your face use them to communicate what you are trying to say.
在表達觀點時，別再讓手無處安放啦，自信點，也別總在聊天的時候玩手指或是撓臉哦。

Use your hands to describe something or to add weight to a point you are trying to make. But don’t use them to much or it might become distracting. And don’t let your hands flail around.
不妨用手比劃比劃來加深你的觀點表達。但也別太過了，否則會分散別人的注意力。也別把手一直垂在那邊。

14. Lower your drink.
水杯放低點

Don’t hold your drink in front of your chest. In fact, don’t hold anything in front of your heart as it will make you seem guarded and distant. Lower it and hold it beside your leg instead.
別總把水杯放在胸前。實際上別把任何東西放在胸前，這隻會讓你看起來十分防範外加有距離感。放低點，不如放在腿邊吧。

15. Realise where you spine ends
挺直脊椎

Many people (including me until recently) might sit or stand with a straight back in a good posture. However, they might think that the spine ends where the neck begins and therefore crane the neck forward in a Montgomery Burns-pose. Your spine ends in the back of your head. Keep you whole spine straight and aligned for better posture.
很多人（包括我自己）也許都會一直把背挺直的站着坐着。也許有些人覺得脊椎末端是在脖子那，因此往往會往前伸脖子，但其實脊椎的末端是在後腦勺這邊。所以挺直脊椎，讓自己看起來更精神吧。

16. Don’t stand too close
別站的太近

One of the things we learned from Seinfeld is that everybody gets weirded out by a close-talker. Let people have their personal space, don’t invade it.
我們都知道對方談話者如果站得太近是非常奇怪的一件事，尊重別人的空間，別侵犯。

17. Mirror
模仿

Often when you get along with a person, when the two of you get a good connection, you will start to mirror each other unconsciously. That means that you mirror the other person’s body language a bit. To make the connection better you can try a bit of proactive mirroring. If he leans forward, you might lean forward. If she holds her hands on her thighs, you might do the same. But don’t react instantly and don’t mirror every change in body language. Then weirdness will ensue.
往往你和別人開始接觸，如果關係不錯，你就會不自覺地開始模仿她，也就是或多或少效仿別人的肢體語言。如果關係再親密點，你可以更主動點，人家向前傾，你也可以向前傾。如果她把手放在大腿上，那你也這樣好了，只是別模仿的太頻繁。

18. Keep a good attitude
態度好

Last but not least, keep a positive, open and relaxed attitude. How you feel will come through in your body language and can make a major difference.
最重要的是，態度要積極、大方和放鬆。你的感受會通過肢體語言傳達出來，會產生很大的影響。

You can change your body language but as all new habits it takes a while. Especially things like keeping you head up might take time to correct if you have spent thousands of days looking at your feet.
你可以改變自己的肢體語言，但所有的新習慣都需要一段時間來適應。比如如果你一直都低着頭走路，練習擡起頭也許要一段時間的。