社交課堂：人人必備的12個社交技能

If you feel like you’re the awkward person at social events or you struggle to enter into conversations because you’re shy, it can impact your social life and your career. However, you can start improving your social skills by following these 12 strategies and soon, you’ll be able to enter into conversations with confidence.
如果因爲你很害羞內向，在社交場合感覺自己很不自在或想插話很那，這種狀態的你會影響社交生活和你的職業。不過，下列這12個策略很快就會開始提高你的社交技巧，你能自信滿滿地進入對話情景中。

1. Behave Like a Social Person
讓自己表現得個愛社交的人

You can behave like a more social creature, even if you don’t feel like it. Don’t allow anxiety to hold you back. Make the decision to talk to new people and to enter into conversations even when you’re feeling nervous about it. Over time, it will get easier and you’ll quickly start improving your social skills.
即使你不喜歡這樣，你也要把自己表現得像個喜歡社交的人。不要讓焦慮阻礙你。即使你感到緊張，也要下定決心與新認識的人進行交談。久而久之，社交會變得比較容易很快開始提高社交技巧。

2. Start Small if Necessary
如有需要從小事做起

If going to a party or spending time in a crowd seems overwhelming, start small. Go into the grocery store and say, “Thank you,” to the clerk or go to a restaurant and order your food. Practice making small talk gradually.
如果參加聚會或跟一羣人在一起感覺會把你淹沒，那就從小處慢慢來。對雜貨店店員，或餐館服務員說聲“謝謝，”。從小的交談開始逐漸練習。

3. Ask Open-Ended Questions
問一些開放式問題

If you want the attention off you in a conversation, get familiar with open-ended questions. Encourage others to talk so you won’t have to make the idle chit-chat. Ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer and you may open the door to invite the other person to keep the conversation going.
在一個對話交談中，如果你想把注意力從自己身上轉移開，就要熟悉一些開放式問題。鼓勵別人去多說，這樣你就不必說些家長裏短的話了。問一些需要不只“是/否”回答的問題，這樣你就敞開大門邀請別人參與，讓對話進行下去了。

4. Encourage Others to Talk About Themselves
鼓勵別人討論自己

Most people really enjoy talking about themselves. Ask a question about a person’s career, hobbies, or family. Show you’re interested in hearing what is being said.
大部分人真的喜歡對自己大加討論，問一下對方關於職業、愛好或家庭方面的問題。你要對別人的說話內容表現出有興趣去聽的狀態。

5. Create Goals for Yourself
爲自己設立目標

Establish some small goals for yourself. Perhaps you want to practice one particular skill or maybe you want to start attending a social activity in your community. Establish a goal and begin to work on strategies that will improve your social life.
爲自己制定一些小目標。或許你想要鍛鍊自己掌握一項特殊技能，或許你想開始參與社區的社交活動。制定一個目標並開始按照策略方法去進行，這樣就會提高你的社會生活能力。

6. Offer Compliments Generously
不吝讚美之言

Compliments can be a great way to open the door to a conversation. Offer a co-worker a compliment on a presentation he gave at a meeting or compliment your neighbor on his new car. Compliments can show others that you are friendly.
讚美之言是敞開對話大門的一個很好的方式。對同事的會上發言或鄰居的新車不吝讚美之言，多美言幾句。讚美之言能向別人表示出你很友好。7. Read Books About Social Skills
讀關於社交技能方面的書籍

There are many books on the market that can help you learn specific social skills and ways to start conversations. However, keep in mind that reading about these skills won’t make you an expert. You’ll need to practice them over and over again.
市場上有許多書籍能幫助你學習具體社交技能，和如何開始進行對話的方法。不過，記住讀這類技能方面的書籍並不會使你變成一名專家。需要你反覆練習才能掌握這些技能。

8. Practice Good Manners
養成良好禮儀

Good manners go a long way in improving social skills. Practice being polite, showing gratitude, and using good table manners.
良好的禮儀對提高社交技能大有幫助。要表現得禮貌、常表達感激之情並表現良好的餐桌禮儀。

9. Pay Attention to Your Body Language
注意你的肢體語言

Non-verbal communication is very important. Pay attention to the type of body language you use. Try to appear relaxed, make appropriate amounts of eye contact, and appear open to conversation.
非口頭的溝通交流很重要。注意你所使用的肢體語言。試着表現出輕鬆的狀態，適當做眼神接觸交流，並對對話內容表現出敞開心扉的狀態。

10. Join a Social Skills Support Group
加入一個社交技能支持小組

Many communities offer social skill support groups. Support groups help people who feel shy, awkward, or extremely anxious in social situations learn and practice new skills. You’ll start improving social skills and may be able to make new friends who understand your difficulties.
許多社區都提供社交技能支持小組。小組幫助那些在社交場合感到害羞、尷尬或非常焦慮的人學習和練習新技能。你的社交技能會開始逐步提高，可以結交到那些理解你遇到的社交困難的新朋友。

11. Stay Up to Date on Current Events
瞭解最新時事

Read up on current trends and news stories so you have something to talk about with people. Try to avoid anything that is too controversial, such as politics, but do talk about other news stories that may be of interest. It can be a great way to start a conversation and can help you stick to neutral subjects.
閱讀當下流行趨勢和新聞故事，這樣你和大家就會有可談論的話題。試着避開太過沖突的話題，例如政治話題，但可以談論可能引起大家很多人興趣的新聞故事，新聞話題是開始對話的好方式，因爲可以聊一些中性話題。

12. Identify and Replace Negative Thoughts
意識到自己的消極想法，改正掉

If you have a lot of negative thoughts about your social interactions, it could become a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, a person who thinks, “I’m really awkward and I will embarrass myself,” may sit in the corner at a party. As a result, he may leave the party thinking that he must be really awkward because no one talked to him.
如果你對社交溝通交流有很多消極想法，可能會成爲一種自我應驗的預言。例如，有人認爲，“我真的感到自己處於非常尷尬的境地，”會坐在聚會的某個角落。結果他會從聚會場合上離開，會一直覺得沒人跟他說話，所以自己一定很尷尬。

Identify negative thoughts that are likely dragging you down. Replace them with more realistic thoughts, such as, “I can make conversation and I can meet new people.” Don’t allow yourself to dwell on thoughts that aren’t productive.
確定消極思想有可能在拖累着你，用更加現實的想法取代消極想法，例如，“我可以和別人對話我還可以與新認識的人見面。” 不許自己停留在無意義的思想中。