令人捧腹：盤點奇葩請假理由

For the last 10 years, job listing site CareerBuilder has put out a list it calls “The Most Unbelievable Excuses for Calling in Sick.” Last year an employee said he couldn’t come in because his false teeth flew out the window while he was driving down the highway. Another claimed that someone had glued her windows and doors shut so she couldn’t get out of her house. This year the excuses include a worker who said he felt he had to stay at a casino when he had money left after a gambling weekend. Then there was the employee who said she couldn’t come in because she had woken up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it. I like this one from a past survey: Employee said the ghost in his house kept him up all night.

This year’s excuses were gathered through a Harris Poll that ran from Aug. 11 to Sept. 5, 2014, among 3,000 workers and 2,000 hiring managers.

The motto of this story: If you really are sick, don’t come to work and spread your germs around the office. But if you just want to stay home, go with, “I’m running a fever,” rather than one of these ridiculous excuses.

1. I just put a casserole in the oven.

2. My plastic surgery needed some “tweaking” to get it just right.

3. I was sitting in the bathroom and my feet and legs fell asleep. When I stood up, I fell and broke my ankle.

4. I had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.

5. I woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it.

6. I had a “lucky night” and didn’t know where I was.

7. I got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn’t get out.

8. I had a gall stone I wanted to heal holistically.

9. I caught my uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.

10. I accidentally got on a plane.據福布斯網站10月23日報道，過去十年裏，美國凱業必達招聘網站都會曬出“最奇葩的請假理由”。去年有位男性員工的請假理由是“在高速上開車時，假牙飛出去了”，還有一位女性員工請假理由竟然是“有人把她的門窗用膠水黏住了，出不去”。今年的請假理由包括“週末在賭場賭錢錢沒用完，要繼續賭”，“早上起來心情太好了，不想破壞好心情”等奇怪理由。而作者最喜歡13年一份調查中的理由：房子裏有鬼害他整晚沒睡着。

哈里斯民意調查從3000名員工、2000名人事經理那裏收集了2014年8月11日到9月5日間的請假理由。

這個故事告訴我們：如果你真的病了，那麼就不用來上班，避免把病菌帶給辦公室的其他人；而如果你不想上班，想呆在家裏，那麼僅僅說“我發燒了”已經足夠，不必動用以下這些奇葩請假借口：

1. 我剛纔把砂鍋放進了烤箱。

2. 我的整形手術需要一些再長長才能更貼合。

3. 我坐在浴室時腳麻了，站起來時扭了腳。

4. 我整個週末都在賭場，而現在身上還有錢，週一早上要繼續賭。

5. 我早上起來時心情非常好，不想破壞好心情。

6. 昨天晚上我有了“豔遇”，現在不知道自己身處何處。

7. 我被雜貨店的血壓儀困住了，出不來。

8. 我得了膽結石，我想完全治癒。

9. 我把自己的制服放進微波爐烘乾，現在它着火了。

10.我不小心乘上了一架飛機。