經典科幻文學:《生命 宇宙及一切》第4章(4)

Look, said Ford. He picked up an imaginary phone and dialled an imaginary dial.
Hello? he said into the imaginary mouthpiece. Is that Arthur Dent? Ah, hello, yes. This is Arthur Dent speaking. Don’t hang up.
He looked at the imaginary mouthpiece in disappointment.
He hung up, he said, shrugged, and put the imaginary phone neatly back on its imaginary hook.
This is not my first temporal anomaly, he added.
A glummer look replaced the already glum look on Arthur Dent’s face.
So we’re not home and dry, he said.
We could not even be said, replied Ford, to be home and vigorously towelling ourselves off.
The game continued. The bowler approached the wicket at a lope, a trot, and then a run. He suddenly exploded in a flurry of arms and legs, out of which flew a ball. The batsman swung and thwacked it behind him over the sight-screens. Ford’s eyes followed the trajectory of the ball and jogged momentarily. He stiffened. He looked along the flight path of the ball again and his eyes twitched again.
This isn’t my towel, said Arthur, who was rummaging in his rabbit-skin bag.
Shhh, said Ford. He screwed his eyes up in concentration.
I had a Golgafrinchan jogging towel, continued Arthur, it was blue with yellow stars on it. This isn’t it.
Shhh, said Ford again. He covered one eye and looked with the other.
This one’s pink, said Arthur, it isn’t yours is it?
I would like you to shut up about your towel, said Ford.
It isn’t my towel, insisted Arthur, that is the point I am trying to…
And the time at which I would like you to shut up about it, continued Ford in a low growl, is now.
All right, said Arthur, starting to stuff it back into the primitively stitched rabbit-skin bag. I realize that it is probably not important in the cosmic scale of things, it’s just odd, that’s all. A pink towel suddenly, instead of a blue one with yellow stars.
Ford was beginning to behave rather strangely, or rather not actually beginning to behave strangely but beginning to behave in a way which was strangely different from the other strange ways in which he more regularly behaved. What he was doing was this. Regardless of the bemused stares it was provoking from his fellow members of the crowd gathered round the pitch, he was waving his hands in sharp movements across his face, ducking down behind some people, leaping up behind others, then standing still and blinking a lot. After a moment or two of this he started to stalk forward slowly and stealthily wearing a puzzled frown of concentration, like a leopard that’s not sure whether it’s just seen a half-empty tin of cat food half a mile away across a hot and dusty plain.
This isn’t my bag either, said Arthur suddenly.

“你看吧。”福特說。他拿起一個虛擬的話筒，虛擬地撥了一個號碼。
“你好？”他對着虛擬話筒說，“是阿瑟·鄧特嗎？啊，你好，是的。這裏是阿瑟鄧特。別掛斷。”
他失望地看着虛擬話筒。
“他掛斷了。”福特聳聳肩，把虛擬話筒輕輕地放回虛擬主機上。
“這不是我第一次行爲反常。”他補充道。
阿瑟的臉上，一種更加鬱悶的表情代替了原本鬱悶的表情。
“所以我們沒有衣錦還鄉……”他說。
“我們甚至不算是，”福特補充道，“衣毛巾還鄉。”
比賽還在繼續。投球手先是大步邁向三柱門，然後是小跑，然後開始拔腿狂奔。一瞬間，他的手腳一齊爆發出巨大的力量，隨着他的動作，一隻球飛了出來。擊球手身子一晃，奮力一擊，把球打到了助視屏之外。福特的雙眼跟隨着球的軌跡轉過去，瞬間突然顫了一下，然後僵在那了。福特又順着球的軌跡轉了一遍，他的眼睛又抽搐了一下。
“這不是我的毛巾。”阿瑟一邊在他的兔皮袋裏翻，一邊說着。
“噓。”福特說。他的目光處於高度集中狀態。
“我有條高爾加非洲人的運動毛巾，”阿瑟繼續說，“是藍底子上有黃色星星的。不是這條。”
“噓。”福特再次說道。他閉上一隻眼睛，用另一隻看着遠方。
“這條是粉色的，”阿瑟說，“不是你的，對吧？”
“我希望你別再提你的毛巾了。”福特說。
“這不是我的毛巾。”阿瑟堅持道，“我就是想說……”
“我就是想說，請你別再說了。”福特惱怒地低吼道，“馬上。”
“那好吧。”阿瑟把毛巾塞回他那縫製粗劣的兔皮袋。“我知道這從整個宇宙的角度來看並不重要，只不過有點怪而已，就這樣。一條粉色的毛巾，突然代替了我的藍底黃星星毛巾。”
福特此時的行爲變得相當怪異。或者說，並不是變得怪異，而是變成以另一種方式來怪異。這種方式和他一般怪異的時候都不同。他的手飛快地在臉前揮動，完全不顧周圍人驚訝的目光；有時猛地一彎腰，躲在別人身後；有時又在別人後面跳上跳下，然後又呆立在那，不停地眨眼睛；過了一會兒，他又凝神屏息，慢慢地、躡手躡腳地向前靠近，就像一隻乾熱草原上的獵豹，不敢確定前方半里處是否真有半罐貓糧放在那。
“這也不是我的袋子啊。”阿瑟突然說道。