經典科幻文學:《生命 宇宙及一切》第4章(7)

Well, your team, as I say, have just won. The match. It means they retain the Ashes. You must be very pleased. I must say, I’m rather fond of cricket, though I wouldn’t like anyone outside this planet to hear me saying that. Oh dear no.
The apparition gave what looked as if it might have been a mischievous grin, but it was hard to tell because the sun was directly behind him, creating a blinding halo round his head and illuminating his silver hair and beard in a way which was awesome, dramatic and hard to reconcile with mischievous grins.
Still, he said, it’ll all be over in a couple of days, won’t it? Though as I said to you when we last met, I was very sorry about that. Still, whatever will have been, will have been.
Arthur tried to speak, but gave up the unequal struggle. He prodded Ford again.
I thought something terrible had happened, said Ford, but it’s just the end of the game. We ought to get out. Oh, hello, Slartibartfast, what are you doing here?
Oh, pottering, pottering, said the old man gravely.
That your ship? Can you give us a lift anywhere?
Patience, patience, the old man admonished.
OK, said Ford. It’s just that this planet’s going to be demolished pretty soon.
I know that, said Slartibartfast.
And, well, I just wanted to make that point, said Ford.
The point is taken.
And if you feel that you really want to hang around a cricket pitch at this point…
I do.
Then it’s your ship.
It is.
I suppose. Ford turned away sharply at this point.
Hello, Slartibartfast, said Arthur at last.
Hello, Earthman, said Slartibartfast.
After all, said Ford, we can only die once.
The old man ignored this and stared keenly on to the pitch, with eyes that seemed alive with expressions that had no apparent bearing on what was happening out there. What was happening was that the crowd was gathering itself into a wide circle round the centre of the pitch. What Slartibartfast saw in it, he alone knew.
Ford was humming something. It was just one note repeated at intervals. He was hoping that somebody would ask him what he was humming, but nobody did. If anybody had asked him he would have said he was humming the first line of a Noel Coward song called “Mad About the Boy” over and over again. It would then have been pointed out to him that he was only singing one note, to which he would have replied that for reasons which he hoped would be apparent, he was omitting the “about the boy” bit. He was annoyed that nobody asked.
It’s just, he burst out at last, that if we don’t go soon, we might get caught in the middle of it all again. And there’s nothing that depresses me more than seeing a planet being destroyed. Except possibly still being on it when it happens. Or, he added in an undertone, hanging around cricket matches.
Patience, said Slartibartfast again. Great things are afoot.
That’s what you said last time we met, said Arthur.
They were, said Slartibartfast.

“啊，你的隊，如我所說，剛纔贏了。贏了比賽。也就是說他們保住了灰燼杯。你一定很高興。我得承認，我真的很喜歡板球，雖然我不希望這顆行星以外的人聽到這一點。噢，天哪，是的。”
鬼影似乎露出了一個淘氣的微笑，不過很難確定。因爲陽光從他身後徑直照射過來，在他的腦袋周圍照出一圈刺眼的光芒，照亮了他的銀髮和鬍鬚，看上去既華麗又夢幻，這可跟淘氣的微笑不太相稱。
“然而，”他說，“一切都將在一兩天之內結束，不是嗎？儘管上次我已經告訴過你，我自己也很遺憾。然而，該發生的事，總會發生的。”
阿瑟試圖說點什麼，但還是說不出來。他又戳了戳福特。
“我知道會有糟糕的事發生，”福特說，“但比賽已經結束了，咱們該走了。噢，你好，司拉提巴特法斯特，你在這兒幹嘛？”
“噢，溜達，溜達一下。”老人嚴肅地說。
“那是你的飛船？你能不能把我倆搭到別處去？”
“耐心，耐心。”老人告戒道。
“行，”福特說，“只是這顆行星很快就要毀滅了。”
“我知道。”司拉提巴特法斯特說。
“那麼，嗯，我只是想強調一下狀況而已。”福特說。
“狀況我懂。”
“那麼如果你真想在這種狀況下，呆在板球場的話……”
“我是想的。”
“而這是你的飛船。”
“它是的。”
“我瞭解。”於是在這個狀況下，福特轉過身去。
“你好，司拉提巴特法斯特。”阿瑟終於開口了。
“你好，地球人。”司拉提巴特法斯特說，
“畢竟，”福特說，“咱們只能死一次。”
老人並未理會這句話，他目光銳利地盯着球道，那雙眼睛似乎已經完全忽略其他事物。此時，人羣正向球道圍了過來。只有司拉提巴特法斯特知道，這裏面到底有什麼深層意義。
福特在哼着什麼，聽上去，像是在不停重複一個音。他希望有人來問他在哼什麼，可是沒人問。如果有人問他，他會說他哼的是一首聖誕懦夫歌《瘋狂地愛上那個男孩》，他在反覆地哼第一句。如果對方指出他只是在哼同一個音，他就會說，因爲某種顯而易見的原因，他省略了“愛上那個男孩”那塊。他很不爽沒人來問他。
“只是，”他終於又開口道，“如果咱們不快點走，就又要經歷那一切了。對我來說，沒有什麼比讓我看見一顆行星毀滅更難受的了。尤其是被毀滅時我正站在上面，或者，”他低聲補充道，“在板球賽場上呆着。”
“耐心。”司拉提巴特法斯特又說道，“大事就要來臨了。”
“那是上次我們見面時你說的話。”阿瑟說。
“是啊。”司拉提巴特法斯特說。