經典科幻文學:《生命 宇宙及一切》第18章4

Tell me it was a coincidence, Dent, it said. I dare you to tell me it was a coincidence!
It was a coincidence, said Arthur quickly.
It was not! came the answering bellow.
It was, said Arthur, it was…
If it was a coincidence, then my name, roared the voice, is not Agrajag!!!
And presumably, said Arthur, you would claim that that was your name.
Yes! hissed Agrajag, as if he had just completed a rather deft syllogism.
Well, I’m afraid it was still a coincidence, said Arthur.
Come in here and say that! howled the voice, in sudden apoplexy again.
Arthur walked in and said that it was a coincidence, or at least, he nearly said that it was a coincidence. His tongue rather lost its footing towards the end of the last word because the lights came up and revealed what it was he had walked into.
It was a Cathedral of Hate.
It was the product of a mind that was not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
It was huge. It was horrific.
It had a Statue in it.
We will come to the Statue in a moment.
The vast, incomprehensibly vast chamber looked as if it had been carved out of the inside of a mountain, and the reason for this was that that was precisely what it had been carved out of. It seemed to Arthur to spin sickeningly round his head as he stood and gaped at it.
It was black. Where it wasn’t black you were inclined to wish that it was, because the colours with which some of the unspeakable details were picked out ranged horribly across the whole spectrum of eye-defying colours from Ultra Violent to Infra Dead, taking in Liver Purple, Loathsome Lilac, Matter Yellow, Burnt hombre and Gan Green on the way.
The unspeakable details which these colours picked out were gargoyles which would have put Francis Bacon off his lunch. The gargoyles all looked inwards from the walls, from the pillars, from the flying buttresses, from the choir stalls, towards the Statue, to which we will come in a moment.
And if the gargoyles would have put Francis Bacon off his lunch, then it was clear from the gargoyles’ faces that the Statue would have put them off theirs, had they been alive to eat it, which they weren’t, and had anybody tried to serve them some, which they wouldn’t.
Around the monumental walls were vast engraved stone tablets in memory of those who had fallen to Arthur Dent.

“告訴我那是巧合，鄧特。”它說，“你敢不敢告訴我那是個巧合？！”
“那是個巧合。”阿瑟趕緊說。
“那不是！”對方怒吼道。
“是的……”阿瑟說，“那是的……”
“如果那是個巧合，那我的名字，“對方咆哮着，”就不叫阿格拉賈格！“
“那麼似乎……”阿瑟說，“你的意思是它仍然是你的名字。”
“當然！”阿格拉賈格嘶吼道，彷彿認爲自己剛剛完成了一次巧妙的推理。
“嗯，恐怕那還是個巧合。”阿瑟說，
“給我過來！”對方嚎叫起來，就像突然中風了似的。
阿瑟步入其中，一邊說着“那是個巧合”——其實是幾乎要說出“那是個巧合”，因爲他的舌頭還沒卷出最後一個單詞，周圍的燈光就亮起來了。
那是一座仇恨大教堂。
它是意識的產物——不只是扭曲的意識，而且是扭壞了的意識。
它空曠。它恐怖。
它正中間有一尊雕像。
我們很快會談到它。
這個內室很寬大，寬得不可思議，像是在大山裏面挖出來的。其實它就是這麼挖出來的。阿瑟覺得整個大廳都在不停旋轉，他只好張大了嘴巴，呆立在那兒。
這裏很暗。有一些不暗的地方，你會更希望它們是暗的。因爲，它們是特意突出色彩的細節，那些細節很不便形容。它們幾乎囊括了光譜上所有不順眼的顏色，從淤血紫外色一直到鮮血紅外色，包括了死屍紫、氣憤粉、慌張黃、骨折赭和焦慮綠等等。這些不便形容的、特意突出色彩的細節，是一些小塑像，它們能讓弗蘭西斯·培根①都吃不下午餐。
那些小塑像都面朝中央，背靠牆壁、柱子、拱扶垛、聖壇等。它們都對着中間那尊雕像，那尊我們很快會談到的雕像。
如果說，那些小塑像能讓弗蘭西斯·培根都吃不下午餐的話，那麼，小塑像們的表情就像在說，中間那尊雕像讓他們都吃不下午餐了。如果他們能活着的話。當然，他們沒能活着，也沒有人給他們午餐吃，所以他們是吃不成的。
四周的紀念牆上，放有許多石碑，刻着爲阿瑟所害的亡者的名字。