經典科幻文學:《生命 宇宙及一切》第15章

Two months later, Zipo Bibrok 5/108 had cut the bottoms off his Galactic State jeans, and was spending part of the enormous fee his judgments commanded lying on a jewelled beach having Essence of Qualactin rubbed into his back by the same rather nice member of the jury. She was a Soolfinian girl from beyond the Cloudworlds of Yaga. She had skin like lemon silk and was very interested in legal bodies.
Did you hear the news? she said.
Weeeeelaaaaah! said Zipo Bibrok 5/108, and you would have had to have been there to know exactly why he said this. None of this was on the tape of Informational Illusions, and is all based on hearsay.
No, he added, when the thing that had made him say Weeeeelaaaaah had stopped happening. He moved his body round slightly to catch the first rays of the third and greatest of primeval Vod’s three suns which was now creeping over the ludicrously beautiful horizon, and the sky now glittered with some of the greatest tanning power ever known.
A fragrant breeze wandered up from the quiet sea, trailed along the beach, and drifted back to sea again, wondering where to go next. On a mad impulse it went up to the beach again. It drifted back to sea.
I hope it isn’t good news, muttered Zipo Bibrok 5/108, ‘cos I don’t think I could bear it.
Your Krikkit judgment was carried out today, said the girl sumptuously. There was no need to say such a straightforward thing sumptuously, but she went ahead and did it anyway because it was that sort of day. I heard it on the radio, she said, when I went back to the ship for the oil.
Uhuh, muttered Zipo and rested his head back on the jewelled sand.
Something happened, she said.
Mmmm?
Just after the Slo-Time envelope was locked, she said, and paused a moment from rubbing in the Essence of Qualactin, a Krikkit warship which had been missing presumed destroyed turned out to be just missing after all. It appeared and tried to seize the Key.
Zipo sat up sharply.
Hey, what? he said.
it’s all right, she said in a voice which would have calmed the Big Bang down. Apparently there was a short battle. The Key and the warship were disintegrated and blasted into the space-time continuum. Apparently they are lost for ever.
She smiled, and ran a little more Essence of Qualactin on to her fingertips. He relaxed and lay back down.
Do what you did a moment or two ago, he murmured.
That? she said.
No, no, he said, that.
She tried again.
That? she asked.
Weeeeelaaaaah!
Again, you had to be there.
The fragrant breeze drifted up from the sea again.
A magician wandered along the beach, but no one needed him.

兩個月後，芝伯·畢博克 5%108脫下他的銀河禮儀牛仔褲，趴在一片金燦燦的沙灘上，花着他審判所得的鉅額收入。那位美人陪審員，正用誇拉丁芳香精油在他背上按摩。她是一位蘇菲尼女孩，來自雅加星的雲海世界。她有着檸檬色絲綢一般的肌膚，她對很法律的身體充滿興趣。
“你聽說那件事了嗎？”她說。
“嗯哪———！！！” 芝伯·畢博克 5%108叫道。只有身臨其境，你才能確切地知道他爲什麼這麼叫。這些內容在信息幻影帶子上都沒記錄，只能聽聽傳聞罷了。
“沒。”他補充道。此時，讓他說“嗯哪”的動作已經停止了。他慢慢翻過身來，接受古老的伏德三恆星之第三星（也是最大的一顆）的第一縷曙光。此時，這顆恆星正從那美得荒誕的地平線上冉冉升起。天空在無比強烈的日光中，華彩奪目。
一絲薰風，自海中瀰漫而至，遊弋於岸邊，復又飄回海上。它在想接下來該去哪兒。忽而一陣衝動，它又吹到了岸邊，最後仍飄回海中。
“希望不是什麼好事。” 芝伯·畢博克 5%108喃喃道，“我可受不了。”
“你的版求審判今天執行了。”女孩華麗地說。這麼簡單的一件事，沒必要華麗地說；不過，爲了配合今天的氣氛，她就這樣說了，“我在電臺裏聽到的，”她說，“回飛船取精油的時候。”
“噢。”芝伯呢喃着，把頭枕在金燦燦的沙灘上。
“有點狀況。”她說。
“嗯？”
“就在緩時封皮鎖上之後，”她說了一句，又停了一小會兒，以便把誇拉丁香油揉進他的皮膚，“一艘原以爲已戰毀的版求戰船出現了。原來它之前只是失蹤了。它是回來搶鑰匙的。”
芝伯猛地坐起來。
“嘿，什麼？”他說。
“沒什麼，”她的聲音，足以讓宇宙大爆炸都平靜下來，“顯然，發生了一次小小的戰鬥，鑰匙和戰船都損壞了，炸到了時空連續體中，顯然它們永遠地消失了。”
她笑了笑，又用指尖蘸了點誇拉丁香油。他放鬆下來，躺了回去。
“剛纔那個，再來一次吧。”他喃喃地說。
“這個？”
“不不，那個。”
她又試了試。
“這個？”她問。
“嗯哪———！！！”
同樣地，你得身臨其境才行。
一絲薰風又自海中飄來。
一位魔術師遊蕩在沙灘上，但沒人需要他。