經典科幻文學:《生命 宇宙及一切》第4章(5)

Ford’s spell of concentration was broken. He turned angrily on Arthur.
I wasn’t talking about my towel, said Arthur. We’ve established that that isn’t mine. It’s just that the bag into which I was putting the towel which is not mine is also not mine, though it is extraordinarily similar. Now personally I think that that is extremely odd, especially as the bag was one I made myself on prehistoric Earth. These are also not my stones, he added, pulling a few flat grey stones out of the bag. I was making a collection of interesting stones and these are clearly very dull ones.
A roar of excitement thrilled through the crowd and obliterated whatever it was that Ford said in reply to this piece of information. The cricket ball which had excited this reaction fell out of the sky and dropped neatly into Arthur’s mysterious rabbit-skin bag.
Now I would say that that was also a very curious event, said Arthur, rapidly closing the bag and pretending to look for the ball on the ground.
I don’t think it’s here, he said to the small boys who immediately clustered round him to join in the search, it probably rolled off somewhere. Over there I expect. He pointed vaguely in the direction in which he wished they would push off. One of the boys looked at him quizzically.
You all right? said the boy.
No, said Arthur.
Then why you got a bone in your beard? said the boy.
I’m training it to like being wherever it’s put. Arthur prided himself on saying this. It was, he thought, exactly the sort of thing which would entertain and stimulate young minds.
Oh, said the small boy, putting his head to one side and thinking about it. What’s your name?
Dent, said Arthur, Arthur Dent.
You’re a jerk, Dent, said the boy, a complete asshole. The boy looked past him at something else, to show that he wasn’t in any particular hurry to run away, and then wandered off scratching his nose. Suddenly Arthur remembered that the Earth was going to be demolished again in two days’ time, and just this once didn’t feel too bad about it.
Play resumed with a new ball, the sun continued to shine and Ford continued to jump up and down shaking his head and blinking.
Something’s on your mind, isn’t it? said Arthur.
I think, said Ford in a tone of voice which Arthur by now recognized as one which presaged something utterly unintelligible, that there’s an SEP over there.
He pointed. Curiously enough, the direction he pointed in was not the one in which he was looking. Arthur looked in the one direction, which was towards the sight-screens, and in the other which was at the field of play. He nodded, he shrugged. He shrugged again.
A what? he said.
An SEP.
An S?…
…EP.
And what’s that?
Somebody Else’s Problem.
Ah, good, said Arthur and relaxed. He had no idea what all that was about, but at least it seemed to be over. It wasn’t.
Over there, said Ford, again pointing at the sight-screens and looking at the pitch.
Where? said Arthur.
There! said Ford.
I see, said Arthur, who didn’t.
You do? said Ford.

福特高度集中的精神被破壞掉了。他憤怒地轉向阿瑟。
“我沒有提我的毛巾，咱們都承認那不是我的了。但這條不是我的毛巾所放的袋子也不是我的。這同樣很不尋常。我個人認爲這件事極其怪異，特別是我在史前地球上做的這個袋子。”他從袋裏掏出一些灰色扁平的石塊，又說，“我在收集有趣的石頭，但這些顯然非常無趣。”
人羣突然爆發出一陣激動的喝彩，蓋住了福特回答阿瑟的話。那顆激動了人們的板球從天而降，恰巧落入阿瑟那神祕的兔皮袋子裏。
“現在我想說，這同樣是件離奇的事。”阿瑟敏捷地關上袋子，裝作在地上找球。
“我想它不在這兒。”他對一些很快圍過來找球的男孩說，“可能滾到別處去了，我猜在那邊。”他隨隨便便地指了一個方向，只希望他們趕快走開。一個男孩用嘲笑的神情望着他。
“你沒事吧？”那男孩說。
“沒事。”阿瑟說。
“那你鬍子上爲什麼有塊骨頭？”男孩說。
“我在訓練自己習慣它放在任何地方。”阿瑟對於自己所說的感到很驕傲。他想，這就是所謂的，能夠激勵新一代的格言警句吧。
“哦，”男孩歪着頭，想了想，“你叫什麼名字？”
“鄧特，”阿瑟說，“阿瑟·鄧特。”
“你是個蠢貨，鄧特，”男孩說，“十足的混蛋。”這個男孩悠閒地看着阿瑟背後的什麼東西，以示他並不急着要走。然後，他擦擦鼻子，大搖大擺地離開了。阿瑟突然記起，地球將在兩天之後再次毀滅，只是這次他不再那麼難過了。
比賽使用新球繼續進行，太陽繼續照在福特身上，福特繼續跳上跳下，搖着頭，眨巴着眼睛。
“你腦子有毛病嗎？”阿瑟說。
“我想，”福特說。阿瑟聽着他的語調，預感到一些極其難懂的事就要發生了，“那邊有一個SEP。”
他用手一指。奇怪的是，他所指的方向，不是他正在看的方向。阿瑟往他指的方向看了看，看見了助視屏；又往福特看的方向看了看，那是賽場。阿瑟點點頭，聳了聳肩，然後又聳了聳肩。
“一個什麼？”
“一個SEP。”
“一個S……？”
“……EP。”
“那又是什麼？”
“別人的問題。 ”
“啊，很好。”阿瑟終於放鬆地說道。他不知到底怎麼回事，不過，至少好象不用管了。實際上，遠非如此。
“就在那兒。”福特又指了指那個助視屏，同時眼睛看着球場。
“哪兒？”阿瑟說。
“那兒！”福特說。
“看見了。”阿瑟說。其實他沒看見。
“是嗎？”福特問。