幽默英語笑話帶翻譯
從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起着重要調劑作用。下面本站小編爲大家帶來幽默英語笑話帶翻譯，歡迎大家閱讀!
幽默英語笑話帶翻譯1
一個小男孩非常想要一百美元買一輛自行車，但是祈禱了兩個星期也沒有結果。於是，他決定給上帝寫一封信要這一百美元。當郵局收到這封收信人爲“美國，上帝”的信後，他們決定把它寄給美國總統。總統很重視，也很感動。他命令他的祕書寄給個小男孩五美元紙鈔。總統認爲這對於一個小男孩來說應該是一筆大錢了。這個小男孩收到這五美元后非常高興，又坐下來給上帝寫了一封感謝信，信中寫道:
A little boy wanted one hundred dollar for a bicycle very badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA，they decided to send it to the president. The President was so impressed，touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a five bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted wish the five-dollar bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read:
親愛的上帝:
Dear Lord，
非常感謝你寄給我的錢。可是我發現，由於某種原因您通過華盛頓寄給我的錢，像往常一樣，那些奇怪的人扣走了九十五美元。
Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted ninety-five dollars.
羅傑
Love,Roger
幽默英語笑話帶翻譯2
In the army a company of soldiers decided to have some fun with their company cook, a short, fat, very un-martial young man. So every morning before he woke up, one of them would defecate into his boot. The amazing thing was that the cook accepted this treatment silently. Every morning he would clean out his boot and go to work as if nothing was wrong.
軍隊裏的一個連的士兵決定捉弄捉弄他們連的炊事員，一個又矮又胖又弱小的年輕人。就這樣，每天早上在他睡醒之前，一個士兵會往他的靴子裏大便。令人吃驚的是這個炊事員平靜地接受了這種待遇。每天早上他都會弄乾淨他的靴子然後若無其事地去工作。
After several weeks of this, the soldiers began to tire of the game; it wasn't very much fun because the cook never reacted, and they were beginning to feel guilty as well. So they sent a delegation to apologize to him and promise to mend their ways. The cook heard them out, and then said, "You are going to stop shitting in my boots? Fine, then I will stop pissing in your coffee.”
就這樣過了幾個星期，士兵們開始厭煩了這種遊戲。因爲那個炊事員從來沒有任何反應，使得這種捉弄根本沒那麼有意思，也讓他們覺得有些內疚。所以，他們派了一個代表去向那個炊事員道歉並保證以後不再那麼做了。當那個炊事員聽他們說出了真相後說:“你們真的不往我的靴子裏大便了?那好吧，那我也不再往你們的咖啡裏小便了。”
幽默英語笑話帶翻譯3
An American tourist was riding in a taxi in Israel. As the taxi approached a red light, the tourist was shocked to see the driver drive straight through without even slowing down. Surprised as he was, he didn’t say anything, feeling himself a "guest" and not wanting to make waves.
一個美國遊客在以色列打了一輛出租車。使這個美國遊客震驚的是，當出租車開到紅燈底下的時候，司機根本沒有減速就直着衝了過去。雖然他很吃驚，但他什麼也沒說。他覺得自己是個遊客不應該找麻煩。
The trip continued without event until the next intersection. This time the light was green and，to the American' s dismay, the cab driver brought the vehicle to a grinding halt. Unable to contain his astonishment, he turns to the driver: "Listen,” he says ,“ when you went through the red light, I didn't say anything. But, why, in heaven’s name，are you stopping at a green light?!”
一切都很順利，直到下一個十字路口。這回是綠燈，可讓美國人驚愕的是那個司機踩剎車停了下來。他再也憋不住了，就問司機:“我問你，剛纔你闖紅燈我什麼都沒說，可這回是綠燈爲什麼你卻停了下來?”
The Israeli driver looks at him as if the American was deranged: "Are you crazy?!” he shouts. "The other guy has a red light一do you want to get us killed?!”
那個以色列司機看着那美國人，驚訝的喊道:“你瘋了嗎?另一個司機現在正要闖紅燈，難道你想找死嗎?”
幽默英語笑話帶翻譯4
Sam and a priest are driving one day and by a freak accident，have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished，but amazingly，neither Sam nor the cleric has a scratch on.
一天，山姆和一個神父都在開車，發生了一起反常的事故，他們倆的車頭對頭猛撞到一起。兩輛車全毀了，但是意外的是倆個人都毫髮未傷。
After the crawl out of their cars，Sam sees the priest’s collar and says，"So you’re a priest. I am Sam. Just look at our cars. There is nothing left, yet we are here unhurt. This must be a sign from God!”
他們從各自的車裏爬出來後，山姆看到神父的領子說:“原來你是神父，我叫山姆。看看我們的車，全完了。然而我們還在這裏，沒有受傷。這一定是上帝的旨意!”
Sam is looking at his car and exclaims, "And look at this! Here’s another miracle! My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine did not break. Surely，God wants us to drink this wine and to celebrate our good fortune.”
山姆看着他的車說:“快來看看這兒，還有一個奇蹟!我的車全毀了，但這瓶酒還沒有碎。上帝肯定是想讓我們喝掉它來慶祝我們的好運。
The priest nods in agreement. Sam hands the bottle to the priest，who drinks half of the bottle and hands the bottle back to Sam. Sam takes the bottle and immediate1y puts the cap on，then hands it back to the priest. The priest，baffled, asks，"Aren’t you having any，Sam?” Sam replies, "Nah...I think I'll wait for the police.”
神父點頭同意了。山姆把酒交給神父，神父喝了一半然後又把酒還給山姆。他接過酒瓶迅速把瓶蓋蓋上，又把它給了神父。神父不解地問:“難道你不喝嗎?山姆?”山姆回答:“嗯，我想我還是等着警察來吧。”
以上就是本站小編爲大家帶來的幽默英語笑話帶翻譯，希望大家喜歡!
