諾貝爾文學經典:《寵兒》第3章Part 17

Paul D had only begun, what he was telling her was only the beginning when her fingers on hisknee, soft and reassuring, stopped him. Just as well. Just as well. Saying more might push themboth to a place they couldn't get back from. He would keep the rest where it belonged: in thattobacco tin buried in his chest where a red heart used to be. Its lid rusted shut. He would not pry itloose now in front of this sweet sturdy woman, for if she got a whiff of the contents it wouldshame him. And it would hurt her to know that there was no red heart bright as Mister's combbeating in him.
Sethe rubbed and rubbed, pressing the work cloth and the stony curves that made up his knee. Shehoped it calmed him as it did her. Like kneading bread in the half-light of the restaurant kitchen. Before the cook arrived when she stood in a space no wider than a bench is long, back behind andto the left of the milk cans. Working dough. Working, working dough. Nothing better than that tostart the day's serious work of beating back the past.
UPSTAIRS was dancing. A little two-step, two-step, make-a-new-step, slide, slide and strut ondown.
Denver sat on the bed smiling and providing the music.
She had never seen Beloved this happy. She had seen her pouty lips open wide with the pleasure ofsugar or some piece of news Denver gave her. She had felt warm satisfaction radiating fromBeloved's skin when she listened to her mother talk about the old days. But gaiety she had never seen. Not ten minutes had passed since Beloved had fallen backward tothe floor, pop-eyed, thrashing and holding her throat. Now, after a few seconds lying in Denver'sbed, she was up and dancing.
"Where'd you learn to dance?" Denver asked her.

保羅·D纔剛剛開始，他告訴她的只不過是個開頭，可她把手指放上他的膝蓋，柔軟而撫慰，讓他就此打住。也好。也好。再多說可能會把他們兩個都推上絕境，再也回不來。他將把其餘的留在它們原該待的地方：在他胸口埋藏的菸草罐裏；那胸口，曾經有一顆鮮紅的心跳動。罐子的蓋子已經鏽死了。現在他不會在這個甜蜜而堅強的女人面前把它撬開，如果讓她聞見裏面的東西，他會無地自容的。而知道他的胸膛裏並沒有一顆像“先生”的雞冠一樣鮮紅的心在跳蕩，也會使她受到傷害。
塞絲緊按勞動布和他膝蓋嶙峋的曲線，摩挲着，摩挲着。她希望這會像平息自己一樣平息他。就像在昏暗的餐館廚房裏揉麪團。在廚子到來之前，站在不比一條長凳的長更寬的地方，在牛奶罐的左後側，揉着麪糰。揉着，揉着麪糰。像那樣開始一天的擊退過去的嚴肅工作，再好不過了。
樓上，寵兒在跳舞。輕輕的兩步，兩步，再跳一步，滑步，滑步，高視闊步。
丹芙坐在牀上，笑着提供音樂伴奏。
她從來沒見過寵兒這樣快活。寵兒的嘴平時總是撅着，只是吃起糖來或者丹芙告訴她件什麼事時才高興地咧開。在聆聽媽媽講述過去的日子時，丹芙也曾經感受到寵兒通身發出的心滿意足的溫暖氣息。但從未見過她快活。僅僅十分鐘之前，寵兒還四仰八叉地倒在地板上，眼球突出，掐住自己的喉嚨扭來扭去。現在，在丹芙牀上躺了沒幾秒鐘，她已經起來跳舞了。
“你在哪兒學的跳舞？”丹芙問她。