諾貝爾文學經典:《寵兒》第10章Part 7

She stopped then and turned her face toward him and the hateful wind. Another woman wouldhave squinted or at least teared if the wind whipped her face as it did Sethe's. Another womanmight have shot him a look of apprehension, pleading, anger even, because what he said suresounded like part one of Goodbye, I'm gone.
Sethe looked at him steadily, calmly, already ready to accept, release or excuse an in-need-ortroubleman. Agreeing, saying okay, all right, in advance, because she didn't believe any of them — over the long haul — could measure up. And whatever the reason, it was all right. No fault. Nobody's fault.
He knew what she was thinking and even though she was wrong — he was not leaving her,wouldn't ever — the thing he had in mind to tell her was going to be worse. So, when he saw thediminished expectation in her eyes, the melancholy without blame, he could not say it. He couldnot say to this woman who did not squint in the wind, "I am not a man."
"Well, say it, Paul D, whether I like it or not."
Since he could not say what he planned to, he said something he didn't know was on his mind. "Iwant you pregnant, Sethe. Would you do that for me?"
Now she was laughing and so was he.
"You came by here to ask me that? You are one crazy-headed man. You right; I don't like it. Don'tyou think I'm too old to start that all over again?" She slipped her fingers in his hand for all theworld like the hand-holding shadows on the side of the road.

她停下來，把臉轉向可惡的風。換一個女人，準會眯起眼睛，至少要流眼淚，如果風像抽打塞絲一樣抽打她的臉。換一個女人，準會向他投去一種不安、懇求甚至憤怒的目光，因爲他說的話聽起來絕對像"再見，我走了"的開頭。
塞絲鎮定、平靜地看着他，已經準備好了接受、釋放或者原諒一個處在需要或困難中的男人。事先就同意，說，好吧，沒關係，因爲她根本不相信它們——沒完沒了的死拉硬拽——會達到目的。無論原因是什麼，都沒關係。沒錯。誰都沒錯。
他知道她在想什麼，而且儘管她誤會了——他不是在離開她，永遠不會——但他想告訴她的事情仍然會更糟糕。所以，當他看到期待從她的眼裏消失，看到那種毫無責備的憂鬱，他說不出口。他不能對這個在風中不眯眼睛的女人說："我不是個男子漢。"
"得啦，說吧，保羅·D，甭管我愛不愛聽。"
本來打算好要說的他說不出來，就說了腦子裏面一些自己都沒意識到的想法。"我想讓你懷孕，塞絲。你願意爲我幹那個嗎？"
這時，她放聲大笑起來，他也笑了。
"你到這兒來就爲了問我這個？你是個地地道道的瘋子。你說對了，我不愛聽。你不覺得我從頭再來一遍太老了點兒嗎？"她把手指插進他的手裏，情形跟路邊攜手的影子簡直一模一樣。