從形形色色的騎車風格看性格大綱

Cycling through the City of London to work on a dark morning last week, I was overtaken by a man in a black coat with no helmet, no lights, and listening to music through headphones.

不久前的一天早晨，天陰沉沉的。我騎車穿過倫敦金融城去上班的時候，一名穿着黑色外套的男子騎車超過了我。他沒有戴頭盔，沒有開車燈，戴着耳機在聽音樂。

Idiot, I thought. As he disappeared into the underground parking of a large bank, I wondered: what sort of banker does a man like that make? Either he is boneheaded in his assessment of risk – or he wants to die. Both are unfortunate traits in someone who handles someone else’s money.

我心想，這個白癡。看着他消失在一家大型銀行的地下停車場入口處，我不禁產生疑問：像這樣的人會是個什麼樣的銀行家？他要麼是個低估風險的笨蛋，要麼就是活得不耐煩了。但這兩種特質，都不應該出現在一個專門管理他人錢財的人身上。

He got me thinking about the things we reveal about ourselves when we are on two wheels, and how useful that data could be to our bosses.

他讓我思考起這樣一個問題：我們騎自行車時會暴露出自身的哪些特點，而這些數據對我們的老闆又有多大用處？

I’ve always fancied that as a group, cyclists make relatively good employees. All of us are vaguely fit. We have the wherewithal to be reliable and punctual. When the trains stop running as a result of a little wind – as they did in London last Monday – we still get to work on time. We are risk-takers and ever so slightly rebellious, which works quite well – especially in a job like journalism.

我總以爲，騎車的人是相對不錯的員工。我們都算得上健康，也有必要的工具讓自己可靠和準時。如果火車因一點風而停運（正如倫敦不久前的情況），我們仍能準時上班。我們願意冒險，有一點點叛逆——這相當有用，尤其是對記者這個工作而言。

Only 10 minutes on a London road shows that we aren’t a group at all. Some of us are fast, some slow. Some wear helmets, some don’t. Some break all the rules, some break none. If employers really want to know what prospective employees are like, they should forget psychometric testing and watch them ride a bike. Some cyclists may protest that they are aggressive in the saddle only to become pussycats at their desks, but I don’t agree: on a bike you are close to death and so become a more intense version of your true self.

但僅在倫敦的街道上騎了10分鐘，我就發現，我們根本不能被歸爲同一類人。有些人騎得快，有些人騎得慢。有些人戴頭盔，有些人不戴。有些人無視一切交通規則，有些人遵守所有交通規則。如果僱主真的想了解潛在的僱員是個什麼樣的人，他們就應該忘記心理測量測試，改爲觀察應聘者怎樣騎車。有些騎車者或許會抗議說，正是因爲他們騎車時霸氣，他們在辦公室裏才更甘於俯首帖耳。但恕我不能苟同：人們在騎車時離死神很近，因此會更多地展現出真實的自我。

After I left the banker who didn’t get risk and proceeded to work, I saw three other cyclists showing traits that should have interested their HR departments. The first had his right trouser leg rolled up to reveal a meaty calf. Such resourcefulness in the absence of a clip impressed me: I’d hire him as a problem solver. The next was a man balancing, stationary on a “fixie” at the lights – no one likes working with a show-off.

目送那名銀行家安然無恙地上班去以後，接下來我又看到三名騎車者，他們表現出來的特徵應該引起他們公司人力資源部門的興趣。第一個人把右邊褲腿捲了起來，露出了肉乎乎的小腿肚。他在沒有別針的情況下展現出來的機智讓我印象深刻：我會僱傭他來解決問題。第二個人在紅燈時沒有下車，而是努力讓他那輛單速自行車保持平衡——沒人喜歡和愛炫耀的人一起工作。

And then there was a woman on a baby-pink Brompton going through a red light just by St Paul’s Cathedral forcing pedestrians to step out of her way. One of them yelled “Asshole” into her oblivious ears.

接下來是一名騎着淺粉色Brompton摺疊自行車的女子。她在聖保羅大教堂(St Paul’s Cathedral)旁闖紅燈，逼得行人紛紛避讓。有名行人衝她喊“混蛋”，但她充耳不聞。

Clearly, it is the red light that is the richest point for data gathering. This woman comprehensively failed the job test, while other red-light skippers – who do so without inconveniencing anyone – possibly pass. Red lights also sort out leaders from followers. When there is a big group of bikes together at a light, it takes a particular sort of cyclist to break the consensus and ride off, but once he has done that, others follow, leaving just one or two behind. I would hire these red-light refuseniks at once – but only for jobs in audit or compliance.

顯然，紅燈前能收集到最豐富的數據。這名女子的工作測試根本不及格，而其他一些在沒有妨礙他人的情況下闖紅燈者，還有一點可能通過測試。紅燈還能區分出領導者和追隨者。當有一大羣人停在紅燈前時，只有某種類型的騎車者才能打破一致等待的局面、率先闖紅燈，但一旦他闖紅燈，其他人就會效仿，只留下一兩個人待在原地不動。我會立刻聘用這些拒絕闖紅燈的人，但僅限於審計或合規工作。

The two-wheel test also weeds out those who are not team players. All cyclists view cars, lorries and buses as natural enemies, but the cyclist who is hostile to his own kind, and who squeezes past others on the inside is suitable only for solitary working.

自行車測試還能區分出那些沒有團隊精神的人。所有騎車者都把汽車、卡車和公交車當作天敵，但有些騎車者卻敵視其他騎車者，在自行車流中使勁往前擠，這些人只適合單獨工作。

Not only does cycling show how competitive someone is, it shows how men feel about women being faster than them. On the (increasingly rare) occasions when I overtake a man on a bike, he almost always overtakes me back at once, just to make the point.

騎車不僅能顯示出一個人有多好強，還能顯示出男性在被女性超越時的感受。我超過一名男性騎車者的時候（這種時候越來越少），他幾乎總會立刻反超我。

It is not just the behaviour on the bike, it is the bike itself. The person with the carbon racer wants to impress. The person on the hybrid just wants to get the job done. The not terribly fit man in Lycra is all talk, no trousers. The person who wears no helmet or reflectors is mad, but so too is the person who has so many lights and mirrors on the bike that there is hardly room for a person on it too.

值得注意的不僅是騎車者的行爲，還有自行車本身。騎碳鋼賽車的人喜歡譁衆取寵。騎着多功能自行車的人只想把活兒幹完。身材一般、卻穿着萊卡(Lycra)緊身運動衣的人，只會誇誇其談，沒有實際行動。不戴頭盔或者不裝反光鏡的人是瘋子，而裝太多車燈和反光鏡、甚至連坐的地方都快沒有了的人，也是瘋子。

To check my theory about the connection between personality and cycling style, I have just conducted a little control test. A reader had been offering for a while to take me for a ride on his tandem, and so last week I climbed on the back and was forced to cycle as him – which turned out to be safely, confidently and courteously. I definitely would have hired him. And yet I was terrified: to be on a bike without being me felt all wrong.

爲了檢驗我這個“性格與騎車風格息息相關”的理論，我剛剛做了一個小小的受控實驗。一名讀者一直邀請我同騎他的雙人自行車出去兜風，所以上個月底，我就坐在了這輛自行車的後面，被迫遷就他的騎車風格。事實證明，我們騎得安全、安心並且謙謙有禮。我當然會僱傭他這樣的人。但我還是被嚇着了：按照別人的風格騎車感覺完全不對勁。

So what does cycling as me show? That I like being in control. That I’m cavalier about some rules and fairly selfish, but try not to be flagrantly obnoxious. I wear a helmet, a nasty fluorescent tabard and high heels – but to prevent any more pairs being destroyed by the pedals I have invented a heel condom made out of an old inner tube. Which shows I can be creative – but only when really desperate.

那麼我的騎車風格說明了些什麼？首先，說明我喜歡掌握控制權。其次，說明我不把某些規則放在心上，自私程度中等，但我努力避免明目張膽地幹討人嫌的事情。我戴頭盔，穿顯眼的熒光馬甲和高跟鞋，但爲了防止我的更多雙高跟鞋被自行車踏板毀掉，我用內胎皮做了只鞋跟保護套。這說明我有潛力變得富有創意，但這種潛力只有在實在被逼無奈時纔會發揮出來。