成爲一名有工作的穆斯林女性是何感覺

I'm 19, sitting with a group of interns in a conference room in Denver, CO, for our weekly lunch and learn. All eyes are on me.

我19歲，正與一羣實習生坐在科羅拉多州丹佛公司的會議室裏，開始每週例行的午餐和學習。所有人都看着我。

"No, but where are you really from?" the CEO asked, closing his eyes and nodding his head in that subtly irritated way people do when you're not giving them the answer they want. "You or your parents must've immigrated from somewhere, right?"

"不對吧，你到底是什麼地方來的？"首席執行官閉着眼、搖着頭略帶惱怒地問道，當你沒有給出他人想聽到的答案時，人們就會有些羞惱。"你或者你的父母肯定是從其它地方移民過來的，對吧？"

I don't mind talking about where I'm from - my parents and I immigrated from Pakistan when I was two - but I hated being singled out like that. I already stuck out with my bright headscarf; my fellow interns were mostly white, mostly in suits. As a college sophomore, I was still getting used to navigating the workplace as a Muslim woman. I wasn't looking for unwanted attention.

我不介意談論自己來自哪裏--我和我的父母在我兩歲的時候從巴基斯坦移民過來--但我不喜歡被人從一羣人中挑出來。頭上明亮的頭巾已經讓我十分突出了，和我一起進來的實習生同事大多是白人、穿着西裝。作爲大二學生，我還是習慣於以穆斯林女性的身份出現在工作場所。我並不希望別人注意到我。

In the six years since that experience, I've come to realize that wearing a headscarf is sometimes taken as an open invitation for a casual conversation about my background and religion. There are times when those conversations are welcomed, and times when it's just another example of the countless micro-aggressions I face regularly. I've experienced everything from a former friend telling me her mom doesn't want her to date Muslim guys because they're all "wife-beaters" to sitting through class discussions about whether Muslims should be placed in internment camps. During moments like these, I find myself having to decide whether to speak up or stay silent.

在6年這樣的經歷中，我意識到：有時候戴着頭巾會被別人視作一種邀請，被視作邀請他們和我們聊聊我們的背景和宗教。有時候，我們歡迎這種對話，但有時候，這種對話只是我經常面臨的無數微攻擊的一個例子。我經歷過很多事情，比如：我之前的一位朋友告訴我，她的母親不希望她和穆斯林男生約會，因爲他們會打老婆；我曾坐在課堂上討論穆斯林是不是應該被放到拘留營中。在這些時候，我發現自己總在猶豫：究竟是該發聲，還是保持沉默？

Considering the amount of time I spend with my colleagues, it's natural that we should talk about our personal lives, and I want to help educate my peers about my faith. These discussions are crucial, especially considering the omnipresent machine of fear-mongering that controls the narratives about Muslims. It's nice to be able to speak for myself and educate people in my life. But it's not appropriate to single people out because of their background, especially in a professional setting.

鑑於我和同事呆在一起的時間，聊聊我們各自的生活也是很自然的，我希望讓我的同事知道我的信仰。這些討論至關重要，尤其是考慮到無所不在地控制穆斯林敘述的恐怖製造機制。能夠爲自己發聲，讓身邊的人瞭解我，我真的爲此而感到高興。但只是由於背景不同而把人們單挑出來就十分不妥了，職場中更是如此。

Despite that awkward interaction all those years ago, I'm lucky that I've never experienced blatant workplace discrimination because I'm a Muslim woman.

儘管這些尷尬的互動都是幾年前發生的，但我很幸運，我從未因爲我是一名穆斯林女性而在公共場所中被公然歧視過。