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![開心一笑:新寶寶 The Newborn Baby]()
Mr.andMrs.Taylorhadaseven-year-oldboynamedPat.NowMrs.Taylorwasexpectinganotherchild.泰勒夫婦有一個七歲的兒子，名叫帕特。現在泰勒太太正懷着第二胎。Pathadseenbabiesinotherpeople'shousesandhadnotlikedt......
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![開心一笑:在廚房能幫助老爸減肥]()
咱們在廚房能幫助老爸減肥。......
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![開心一笑:袋鼠到底能跳過高]()
TheabilityoftheKangarooThezoobuiltaspecialeight-foot-highenclosureforitsnewlyacquiredkangaroo,butthenextmorningtheanimalwasfoundhoppingaroundoutside.Theheightofthefencewasincreasedto15feet,butthekanga......
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![開心一笑:新西蘭的氣候是什麼樣的?]()
TheClimateofNewZealandTeacher:Matthew,whatistheclimateofNewZealand?Matthew:VeryCold,sir.Teacher:Wrong.Matthew:But,sir!Whentheysendusmeatitalwaysarrivesfrozen!新西蘭的氣候老師：馬修，新西蘭的氣候怎麼樣？馬修......
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![開心一笑: 立遺囑, 搬起石頭打自己的腳]()
Myfather,whowas14yearsoldthanmymother,hadbeenworkingonhiswill.Atafamilydinnerhetoldusthathehadprovidedwellformother,butthefamilyhomewouldgotousfivechildrenifsheremarried.我爸比我媽大14歲，最近一直在寫遺......
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![開心一笑:他真是一個大人物]()
Heisreallysomebody!"Myunclehas1000menunderhim.""Heisreallysomebody.Whatdoeshedo?""Amaintenancemaninacemetery."他真是一個大人物！“我叔叔下面有1000個人。”“他真是一個大人物。幹什麼的？”“墓地守墓人。”......
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![開心一笑:我們折衷一下吧]()
我們折衷一下吧。你做我說的一切，我說你做的一切。......
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![開心一笑:噪音的優點]()
WhereverIdrovemyoldcarover55milesperhour,itvibratedterribly,soIdecidedtosellit.Myfirstcustomerwantedtobuythecar,andIbattledwithmyconscienceoverwhetherornottotellhimofthevehicle'sproblem.FinallyIdi......
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![開心一笑:堅持不懈是一種美德]()
Manyyearsafterreceivingmygraduatedegree,IreturnedtotheStateUniversityofNewYorkatBinghamtonasafacultymember.Onedayinacrowdedelevator,someoneremarkedonitsinefficiency.Isaidtheelevatorshadnotchangedinthe......
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![開心一笑:一公司的奸商]()
Whenmyprinter'stypebegantogofaint,Icalledarepairshopwhereafriendlymantoldmethattheprinterprobablyneededonlytobecleaned.由於我的打印機不能打印出清晰的字來，我就打電話給維修部。電話是一位非常和藹的男......
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![開心一笑:越獄的悲劇]()
我就要自由了！......
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![開心一笑:死後的探望]()
AnelderlywomanfromBrooklyndecidedtoprepareherwillandmakeherfinalrequests.Shetoldherrabbishehadtwofinalrequests.First,shewantedtobecremated,andsecond,shewantedherashesscatteredoverBloomingdales.布魯克......
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![開心一笑:超炫的手機]()
I'msorry,butyourcellphoneissocool,itmakesyoulookreallydullbycomparison.很抱歉，但是我不得不說你的手機太炫了，相比之下，你就顯得遜色多了！......
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![開心一笑:曾經的千萬富翁]()
Millionaire百萬富翁CEO:"Mywifemadeamillionaireoutofme."主管：我妻子使我成爲百萬富翁。Assistant:"Whatwereyoubefore?"助手：以前你是什麼？CEO:"amultimillionaire."主管：千萬富翁。......
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![開心一笑:我充當了右腿的角色]()
TheRightLegProctor(exceedinglyangry):"Soyouconfessthatthisunfortunatefreshmanwaskickedtothisfrogpondanddrenched？Nowwhatpartdidyoutakeinthisdisgracefulaffair?"Soph.(meekly):"Therightleg,sir."學監（非常生......
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![生活隨筆：讓你開心一笑的21件小事]()
摘錄：在一個無聊的夜晚調臺時，正好發現某臺有一部你喜歡卻沒有機會去看的電影纔剛剛開始。在擁擠的停車場剛好找到一個正要空出的停車位。ngupthinkingyouhavetogetupandgotowork,butit’saSaturday.當你早上醒來......
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![開心一笑:女兒的音樂課是一筆財富]()
Jack:Mydaughter'smusiclessonsareafortunetome.John:Howisthat?Jack:Theyenabledmetobuytheneighbor'shousesathalfprice.傑克：我女兒的音樂課對我來說就是一筆財富呀。約翰：這是怎麼回事呢？傑克：因爲音樂課使我......
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![開心一笑:學校的職能]()
<不準行爲不端><不準談戀愛><不準看卡通>學校的職能就是:想幹嘛，就不讓你幹嘛！......
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![開心一笑:北極熊的無奈]()
Climateischanging.（氣候在改變）（全球變暖，北極熊只好化妝成熊貓去中國）......
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![開心一笑: 水分子式的新奇解釋 The formula for water]()
Teacher:Whatthechemicalformulaforwateristhe?老師：水的分子式是什麼？Blonde:HIJKLMNO!!花瓶：HIJKLMNO！！Teacher:Whatareyoutalkingabout?老師：你在說什麼？Blonde:YesterdayyousaiditsHtoO!花瓶：昨天你不是說HtoO嗎？......
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![開心一笑:您的大衣着火了]()
Themaster,toimpressonhispupilstheneedofthinkingbeforespeaking,toldthemtocountfiftybeforesayinganythingimportant,andonehundredifitwasveryimportant.Thenextdayhewasspeaking,standingwithhisbacktothefire,w......
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![開心一笑: 矇住金魚的眼睛!]()
Stan:Iwon92goldfish.Fred:Whereareyougoingtokeepthem?Stan:Inthebathroom.Fred:Butwhatwillyoudowhenyouwanttotakeabath?Stan:Blindfoldthem!斯丹：我贏了92條金魚。弗雷德：你想在哪兒養它們？斯丹：浴室。弗雷德：但是你想......
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![開心一笑:你是怎麼引起洪水的?]()
AlawyerandanengineerwerefishingintheCaribbean.Thelawyersaid,"I'mherebecausemyhouseburneddown,andtheinsurancecompanypaidforeverything."一個律師與一個工程師在加勒比海邊釣魚。律師說：“我到這裏是因爲我......
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![開心一笑: The mean man's party 吝嗇鬼的聚會]()
Thenotoriouscheapskatefinallydecidedtohaveaparty.Explainingtoafriendhowtofindhisapartment,hesaid,"Comeuptothefifthfloorandringthedoorbellwithyourelbow.Whenthedooropen,pushwithyourfoot."一個聲名狼藉的......
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![開心一笑:難兄難弟 The Two Men]()
Apartyofvisitorswerebeingshownroundalunaticasylum．Theycameacrossoneindividualinthegrounds，withwildeyes，dishevelledhair，feverishlyendeavouringtocatchfliesandkeeptheminhispocket．一羣遊客被領着參觀一所瘋人院......
