如何應對你討厭的工作

WE all have heard — or at least seen in the movies — great stories about people who are working in soul-destroying jobs, then quit in some spectacular fashion and move on to fabulous second careers.

This isn’t a column about that. Rather, more realistically, it’s about what to do if you’re in a job you dislike — or actively hate — but can’t move on. Maybe you need to pay the rent or the mortgage and you’ve sent out endless résumés and haven’t gotten a bite.

Whatever the reason, you’re stuck. Are there ways to make going into work every day more palatable?

Dawn Rosenberg McKay, who writes the career planning guide on (which is owned by The New York Times), suggests first making a list of all the things you dislike about your job.

Try to do it when you have a little distance, like during a vacation or on a weekend. Don’t cheat and write, “everything.” It may feel that way, but that’s not helpful.

“If you hate your boss, write down the things you hate about her,” Ms. Rosenberg said. Do you like what you do, but dislike your colleagues or boss, or do you despise the actual tasks? Try to separate it out.

Then write down all the things you like about your job, and again, “nothing” is not a satisfactory answer. “Try to find something positive, even if it’s just the neighborhood you work in or the view from your window,” she said.

If you want to switch careers, not just get out of that particular job, Cathy Goodwin, a career consultant who specializes in career transitions, suggested focusing on “developing skills rather than serving time.” What can you learn that you can put on your résumé? Computer skills? Public speaking?

“If your company offers education benefits, use them to make yourself marketable,” she said. Even if your company will pay only $1,000, you can take a class at a community college.

Roy L. Cohen, author of “The Wall Street Professional’s Survival Guide” (Financial Times Press, 2010), said “a bad job may be a necessary placeholder while you take classes or network for a new and more satisfying job.”

And yes, I can hear the groans out there. I know people who have been networking and applying for jobs for a year or more in the hope of moving on. No one said it would be easy in these tough economic times, or quick.

If you’re stuck, are there particular tasks in your job that you like? Has your job changed so that you’re now doing a lot of things you find mind-numbing or off your career path? Is there any way to talk to your boss about this?

But before you approach your manager, “consider whether how you are being treated is unique to you or shared by your colleagues,” Mr. Cohen said. As firms downsize, many employees are being forced to take on lots of extra work. If everyone is in the same boat, you may just have to accept it.

If you feel, however, that you are unfairly singled out, or if you are truly overwhelmed, think whether there is a way you can talk to your supervisor, Ms. Rosenberg said.

One trouble in many jobs is that workers feel underappreciated or completely unappreciated, Mr. Cohen said. There are some companies where “your boss sees you and your colleagues only as a resource to be used and exploited,” he added. “Don’t expect or look for appreciation to be expressed or for your good work to be acknowledged. In this situation, ‘employee appreciation’ is an oxymoron.”

So what can you do? Look outside your job for positive feedback. Can your family and friends supply it? Perhaps volunteering or joining a professional organization can give you some sense of purpose if you can’t get it from your workplace, he said.

When I was in a job and my supervisors insisted — unfairly, I believed — that I wasn’t producing enough, I found it helpful to document exactly what I was doing. This proved not only important in negotiations with the higher-ups, but also helped re-establish my own sense of worth.

A. J. Russo, a pharmacy technician in Pennsylvania, said she tried to manage her problems with her colleagues by putting the situation in some perspective.

“I try to remind myself that it’s not my co-workers or boss,” she said. “We’re all stressed. There are three of us doing 300 prescriptions a day. I try not to take it personally.”

With car payments and student loans, she said, “I would rather be employed than unemployed.” She said she was determined to stay in her current one until a new job came along.

Ms. Russo said she had complained a lot to her friends outside work, which might help deal with the pain. But, Ms. Rosenberg, the career columnist, cautioned against grousing too much to your colleagues at work.

“They say misery loves company, but you don’t want set a tone in the office,” Ms. Rosenberg said. For one thing, it can get back to the powers that be. And while a little complaining can feel good, too much tends to just compound the negativity.

Be aware of further self-sabotage, Ms. Goodwin said. Sloppy performance, talking back to co-workers or managers or showing up late — that’s what people do when they are unhappy at work. And it can get you fired. You may find out how much you liked, or at least needed, that job once you’re forced out.

There are times, of course, when you have to leave your job before you have another lined up, especially if it’s making you physically or emotionally ill, Ms. Rosenberg said.

A friend of mine, who asked not be named because he was still looking for a job, quit his a year ago after three and a half months. “It was a constant source of stress,” he said. “I was always in a bad mood, even on weekends.” A professional with many working years under his belt, my friend said he knew there were problems just a few weeks into the new job, but he was determined to stick it out.

“But when I went to London for a meeting, I had to double my blood-pressure medication and take a blood-pressure monitor,” he said. “That’s a sign that something’s wrong.”

He acknowledged that he thought he would find another job more quickly than was the case. In the last year, he has done consulting work and even, at times, driven a limousine. But he never regrets leaving.

“The uncertainty is uncomfortable, but it’s better than the certainty of that job,” he said.

If you’re wondering about quitting your job, Ms. Rosenberg provides a useful quiz to help with the decision on her Web site.

And while it’s not easy in our culture, where we tend to “live to work rather than work to live,” as the saying goes, everyone I spoke to agreed we could try to change that perspective. Do you have to work 60 hours a week, or can you shorten your work hours and take a dance or memoir-writing class? Or go to a play?

And beware of idealizing other jobs. It may well be that another position will suit you better.

But remember, just because you’re unhappy in your current job doesn’t mean the next one will be perfect.據《紐約時報》報道，我們都聽說過——或者至少在電影中見到過——那些做着毀滅靈魂的工作的人們，放棄他們華麗時髦的工作，轉向令人難以置信的職業。

這並不只是人物專欄，而是更加現實的問題：如果你不喜歡你的工作，或者說主觀討厭的話你會怎麼辦？但你又不能馬上換工作，因爲你可能需要錢來付房租或還貸款，你可能投了無數封簡歷卻沒有得到任何迴應。

不管什麼原因，你都被現實卡住了。有沒有什麼辦法能使每天的工作更加愉悅呢？

道恩·羅森博格·麥肯（Dawn Rosenberg McKay）建議大家首先列一個清單，總結一下自己不喜歡工作的哪些方面。道恩在《紐約時報》的子網站上撰寫職業生涯規劃指南。

建議你嘗試在遠離工作時列清單，比如在外度假或在週末時。列清單時不要撒謊，不要寫討厭工作中的“所有事”，可能你是這麼感覺的，但其實這樣列清單毫無用處。

“如果你討厭你的上司，寫出來你討厭她的具體事項。”羅森博格女士說。你是不是喜歡工作本身卻討厭你的同事或上司？你是不是鄙視實際的工作任務？儘量把他們分清楚，隔開寫。

然後再把你喜歡你的工作的方面寫下來，同樣，寫“無”是不符合要求的。“嘗試找一些積極的方面，甚至可以是你辦公地所在的小區或者你窗外的風景。”她補充道。

如果你不僅僅想擺脫現在的工作，還想要更換職業，凱茜·古德溫建議你集中注意“開發自身技能而不是隨波逐流”。你能學到哪些可以寫進你簡歷中的技能？電腦技術或者公共演講？

“如果你的公司給你提供教育經費，用它們提高你的市場價值吧。”凱茜說。哪怕你的公司只給你1000美元，你也可以去社區學校上一門課程。

《華爾街人士的生存之道》作者羅伊·科恩說：“一份不理想的工作也許是個必要的預留位置，當你花時間去上課或在網上找更加令人滿意的新工作。”

的確，我能聽到很多人的嘆息聲，我也知道有些人在網上找工作找了一年甚至更長時間，希望更換工作。沒有人覺得在如此艱難的經濟環境下，找到理想的工作很簡單或者很快速。

如果你被現實卡住，找不到新工作的話，你現在的工作中有喜歡的某些特別任務嗎？你的工作變更導致你現在一直做乏味的或者脫離你職業道路的工作嗎？有沒有可能和你的上司談談你的問題呢？

不過在去找你的經理之前，“想想你在公司的待遇是獨特的還是和你的同事保持一致的。”科恩先生說。由於公司裁員，很多僱員都被迫做很多額外的工作。如果所有人都如此，你可能必須要接受這樣的待遇了。

但是如果你被不公平地對待，被孤立出來，或者如果你真的不堪重負，想想有沒有可能找你的主管談一談， 羅森博格說。

科恩先生指出，很多工作崗位都有一個問題，就是職員感到沒有被足夠欣賞，或者完全沒有被欣賞。他補充說：“有一些企業裏，你的上司只會把你和你同事當成一種資源來使用和剝削。不要期望或者尋找賞識，也不要期望你出色的工作被認可。在這種情況下，對僱員的賞識只是一種矛盾修飾法。”

所以說你能做什麼呢？你只能放寬視野尋找工作之外積極的回饋，比如你的家人和朋友。科恩先生補充說，或許志願服務或加入一些專業機構可以給你一些目標感，如果你在你的工作中找不到的話。

當我還在工作時，我的主管堅持認爲——雖然我覺得很不公平——我產出的作品不夠多，但我認爲這對於我記錄我所做的事情有所幫助。這不僅在我和上級談判時有很大用處，而且幫助我重建了自我價值意識。

來自賓夕法尼亞州的拉索女士是一位藥劑師，她嘗試通過從另一個角度處理與同事之間的問題。

“我努力提醒自己並不是我的同事或者上司的問題。我們壓力都很大。我們三個人每天要開300份處方。我努力不將問題針對我自己。”她說。

拉索女士有車貸和助學貸款，她說：“我寧願有一份工作，也不想失業。”她說她決心留在她的崗位，直到一份新的工作出現。

拉索女士稱她已經向她工作外的朋友抱怨很多了，這也許幫她減輕了工作中的痛苦。但那位專欄作家羅森博格警告大家不要向你的同事埋怨太多。

“人們常說同病相憐，但是你並不想在辦公室定下不好的基調。”羅森博格說。其一，抱怨的情緒會有反作用力；其二，稍微抱怨一下能緩解情緒，但總是抱怨容易導致消極情緒。

古德溫女士提醒大家要意識到進一步的自我破壞。馬虎的表現 、和同事或經理激烈反駁、遲到——這些都是人們對工作不滿意時的表現，而這些表現會讓你丟掉飯碗。你最好找出你有多喜歡這份工作，或者至少找出你有多需要這份你曾經擠破頭拿到的工作。

羅森博格說，當你不得不辭去你的工作，又沒有找到另一份工作之前，當然會有一段時期，特別是這段間隔期會讓你身心俱疲。

我的一個朋友，在這裏應要求不公開他的名字的了，因爲他仍在找工作，一年前他辭去了幹了三個月半的工作。他說：“找工作的這段時間是持續不斷的壓力之源，我總是情緒不好，甚至在週末也是。”朋友是經歷過很多年工作的專業人士，他說他知道在進入新的工作前幾星期會有很多問題，但他決心堅持到底。

“但是當我去倫敦參加一個會議時，我得服用雙倍的穩定血壓的藥物，還得帶一個血壓儀。生活中還是出現了一些麻煩。”他補充道。

他承認他原先以爲可以更快地找到另一份工作，但現實並非如此。去年，他完成了諮詢工作，甚至有時開加長豪華轎車。但是他從不後悔辭去那份工作。

“不確定性會讓人不安，但也比清楚地知道那份工作的內容要強。”他說。

如果你在考慮辭去你現在的工作，羅森博格女士在她的網站上爲你提供了一份小測驗來幫你作出決定。

在我們這個文化背景下，辭去工作並不容易。常言道：“爲了工作而生活，而不是爲了生活而工作。”和我交談過的人們所有人都認爲我們可以改變視角。我們必須要每週工作60小時嗎？你能減少你的工作時間去上舞蹈課或自傳寫作課嗎？或者去看一場戲劇表演？

並且還要注意不要理想化其他的工作，這會成爲另外一個職位更適合你的充分理由。

但是也要記得，你在現在的工作中不開心並不意味着下一個工作就是完美的。