討厭自己的工作? 爲什麼還在堅持?
1) You don't know yourself
你不瞭解你自己The vast majority of people I see in the work.lace just don't know themselves at all. When asked, "What's your top priority in life and in your career? What would you give up anything for?" or "When you're 90 looking back, what do you want to have done, been and left behind? " I get blank stares and mouths hanging open. People don't know themselves well or deeply anymore. Why? Perhaps because we don't make time in our lives to get to know ourselves -- we're just too over-the-top busy. Or perhaps the process of knowing oneself deeply is intimidating and scary. Whatever the reason, if you don't know who you are, at your core, and what you stand for and care about, how can you lead a life that aligns with your needs, values and interests?
在工作中，我看到絕大多數的人都不瞭解他們自己。當被問到，“你生活和事業中的首要任務是什麼？你會爲了什麼放棄一切？”或者“當你90歲了再回頭看，你想你做過什麼事？成爲什麼人？留下什麼遺產？”我得到的是迷茫的目光和張大的嘴。人們不再深入地瞭解自己了。爲什麼？也許因爲我們沒有留時間來了解自己——我們只是忙得過頭了。或者也許是深深地瞭解自己的過程很嚇人很驚慌。不管什麼原因，如果你不知道內心深處你到底是誰、支持什麼、關心什麼，你又如何能安排你的生活符合你的需要、價值和興趣呢？2)You know yourself, but you make yourself wrong
你瞭解自己，但是還是讓自己錯了
In this situation, you know yourself and what you want, but you simply make yourself wrong. You tell yourself, "Yeah, I want to change, but I'm wrong to feel that way." Or "I'm lucky to have a job, so I shouldn't rock the boat" or "I have so much -- I should just feel blessed and not complain." So many people (women in particular) doubt the validity of their feelings or repress their deepest longings because they think they're wrong to have them. Until you can make yourself "right," you can't find peace or joy.
在這種情況下，你瞭解自己，也知道自己的所需，但是你只是讓自己錯了。你告訴自己，“唉，我想改變，但有那樣的感覺是不對的，”或者“我夠幸運有一份工作，所以我不能破壞現狀”或者“我有的已經夠多了——我應該覺得感恩而不是抱怨。”很多人（尤其是女人）懷疑他們感覺的正確性，或者壓抑最深的渴望，因爲他們覺得他們不該擁有這些。只有你讓自己“正確了”，你才能找到寧靜和快樂。3) You've lost the courage to act
你已經失去了行動的勇氣For many who know what they want, they've lost the courage to take hard action. We've been seduced by some erroneous concept that life should be easy. Where did we get that idea? Making life change isn't easy, but it's so worth it, especially if you hate where you are today. It takes courage, grit and commitment to bring about lasting change, and you can do it, but only if you decide to connect to your own internal power, courage and fortitude.
很多人知道他們想要的，他們只是失去了做出實際行動的勇氣。我們已經被一些生活應該容易些的錯誤觀念所誤導。我們從哪獲得那種想法的？改變生活並不容易，但是值得，尤其是在你討厭自己現在的情況。持續的改變需要很大的勇氣、磨礪和承諾，只要你喚起內心的力量、勇氣和堅韌，你就能做到。4) You've prioritized outward things over your own happiness
你已經將外在的事物優先於自己的幸福之上This reason is yours if you can answer "Yes" to this: "Are you staying in this miserable career solely because you think it's the only one that will keep paying you what you want?" If money is keeping you stuck, it's time to think about prioritizing your happiness over your checkbook. How much money do you truly need? Is your current lifestyle so fulfilling that you'd trade it over your health, happiness and well-being? Of course you have to pay your bills and meet your financial obligations -- I'm not suggesting for a minute that you don't. I am, however, recommending that you re-examine how you live and what you truly need. Meeting your financial obligations doesn't have to mean that you're miserable for the rest of your life.
如果下面這個問題你回答“是”，那麼問題在你身上：“因爲你覺得這份工作是唯一能讓你買得起想要的東西的工作，所以你一直做着這份痛苦的工作？”如果金錢讓你受困受苦，該好好想想把幸福排在你的支票簿上了。你到底需要多少錢？你現在的生活方式是否讓你滿意到可以將其置於你的健康、幸福和康樂之上？當然你得自己買單，承擔自己的債務——我從來沒有一分鐘暗示說你不必。然而，我建議你重新審視你該如何生活以及你真正需要的是什麼。承擔自己的財務責任並不意味着你要活在痛苦之中。5) You've been brainwashed by the myth that you can't love your work
你被洗腦了，認爲自己不可能愛上工作There's a prevalent myth in the U.S. today that work is supposed to be challenging and unsatisfying. We look at people who love their work and we hate them. We say, "Yeah, she's doing what she wants to, but that's because she was (lucky, stupid, born into it, inherited money, gorgeous, etc.) And I can't do that because ___." We give ourselves thousands of reasons why loving what we do professionally just isn't in the cards for us. We do that because it's too painful for us to watch other people thrive and adore their work. We want it to be impossible because it seems so unattainable for us.
當今美國有一個普遍的神話，即工作應當是富於挑戰性和不令人滿意的。我們看着那些熱愛工作的人，討厭他們。我們說，“是的，她做的是她想要做的事，但那只是因爲她（幸運、愚蠢、天生適合、祖傳產業、極棒，等等）。我不能做是因爲______。”對於爲什麼不愛我們的職業，我們爲自己找了很多理由，只是因爲不可能發生。我們這麼做是因爲看着別人事業興旺、崇拜他們的工作，讓人感到太痛苦了。我們想要把熱愛工作這件事變成不可能，是因爲我們似乎做不到熱愛工作這一點。6) You are sabotaged by being emotionally overwhelmed
你被情緒打擊壓得喘不過氣來了Each day, I see individuals who are highly competent, smart, achievement oriented and outwardly successful, but many of them are in terrible emotional overwhelm -- they're gripped by anxiety, fear or victimization and they lack the ability to speak up authoritatively or with command. The emotionality of their lives keeps them from reasoning through effective solutions and strategies.
每天，我能看到那些非常能幹、聰明、有成就和表面成功的人，但是很多人的情緒狀況非常糟——他們受焦慮、恐懼或者欺騙所折磨，也缺乏用權威的或者命令的口氣說話的能力。這些生活中的情緒妨礙了他們爲改變而找出有效的方法和策略。7) Your shame and vulnerability keep you from getting help
你的羞恥感和脆弱阻止你尋求幫助If we're afraid of appearing or feeling vulnerable, then we blunt all of the other experiences/emotions we desperately long for, including happiness, connection, empathy, love and more. Further, if you need to appear the "expert" and won't admit your flaws, foibles or 'gaps", you'll never get the help you need to make life change. As Einstein has said, "You can't solve a problem on the level it was created.
如果我們害怕表現脆弱，或者感到脆弱，那麼我們會對其他所有我們極度渴望的經歷/情感表現遲鈍，包括幸福、人際、仁慈、愛和其他更多。進一步說，如果你需要表現得像“專家”，不承認自己的缺點、弱點或者“差距”，那麼你就無法得到你需要的幫助，以此來改變你的生活。正如愛因斯坦所說，“如果沒有發現問題，你就不能解決問題。”8) You've forgotten what true happiness feels like
你已經忘了真正的幸福的模樣Finally, the most depressing reason of all that contributes to why you hate your career is that you've simply forgotten what it feels like to be happy and joyful in your work. You can't remember the last time you said about your work, "That was a great day well spent!" We all strive so hard to achieve, win, or survive -- and we're so beaten down by it -- that many have lost touch with what true joy feels and looks like.
最後，對於你爲什麼討厭你的工作，最令人沮喪的原因是，你根本就已經忘了在工作中幸福和快樂的感覺。你記不得上一次談論你的工作是在什麼時候，“今天過得太有意義了！”我們努力去獲取、成功或者生存——我們已被這些所屈服——這些讓我們忘記了真正的歡樂是什麼樣子。If any of these reasons resonate for you, there's only one choice to make - stay put in your misery or make a change.
如果你對其中一個原因有共鳴，只有一個選擇——繼續痛苦或者作出改變。
