建立良好人際關係中不應該做的10件事

Want to build positive relationships? Then make sure not to commit the following 10 things that disrupt relationships:
想有良好人際關係？那就千萬別和下面這10件破壞人緣的事沾上邊兒：

Giving hurtful comments. Are you hurting others by your lack of tact? You might think that you’re being helpful, but your intentions might have hurt the other party instead. Put yourself in others’ shoes first. If it’s not a comment you appreciate hearing yourself, then perhaps it’s not something others will appreciate either.
出口傷人型。是否因不夠圓滑而傷了人？你可能認爲你是助人，但適得其反而傷害了對方。將心比心。若該言論難入自家耳，那反之亦然。

Giving solutions when the person is really looking for a listening ear. Probably an understatement: A lot of times what people want is a listening ear. Deep down, people have solutions to the problems they are facing – they are just looking for someone to share their frustrations with because they have had a long and hard day. I had a friend who would always butt in with suggestions whenever I shared my frustrations. Our conversations became stifling – in the end I stopped talking about them altogether because I wasn’t getting the refuge I wanted. Be more conscious of what the other party is looking for, and adjust accordingly to fit that.
不做聽衆瞎指揮型。保守來說就是：許多時候，人們只想有個傾吐對象。實際上，人對煩惱自有解決之道—過了辛苦，漫長的一天，他們只求一知己宣泄苦悶。我就有個朋友，在我想吐苦水的時候老是打岔，抒發己見。我們談的了無生趣—最後我索性不再提起，因爲此非我心屬的喘息之地。要多想想友人之所需，調整自己去配合。

Being judgmental; Thinking you are above others. No one likes to be judged or labeled. If you are constantly judging others for what they do/say, it might be good to reflect that upon yourself. Putting someone off doesn’t make someone a better person; it just makes him/her appear insecure. Humility is a timeless virtue that’s appreciated by everyone.
妄加評論型；自己飄飄然。沒人願被評頭論足。如果你總是評論他人的言行舉止，那正映襯了你自己。妄加評論並不能讓別人進步；反而使其越發不安。謙虛之德總是受人推崇的。

Being defensive to criticism. How well do you respond to criticism? Do you become defensive and wall yourself up? Or do you graciously take it into stride and use the criticism constructively for growth? Learn to deal with critical people – it might be the most important skill you can ever acquire.
無視批評型。你對批評是何態度？是高度戒備，視而不見？還是從容應對，吸取批評，力求進步？學會應對批評自己的人—這可能是你最重要的能力。

Telling people what to do. Most of us don’t like it when people try to boss us around. Learning to energize people and get them on board a common vision is more empowering than trying to order people around.
發號指令型。頤指氣使的人一般不受待見。學會調動別人，讓其接受日常之事，這可比到處指揮更需要能力。

Being aloof; Not being responsive. I have experienced situations where acquaintances do not respond to correspondences, possibly because they do not see them as important. Subsequently I form a very bad impression of them, and deprioritize their requests when they seek my help later on.
漠不關心型；不負責任。曾經我的有些朋友就對我的需求置之不理，也許覺得不重要，但我難免心存芥蒂，日後對他們的困難也不會相助。

Thinking you know it all. The more I learn, the more I realize what I don’t know. There is a wealth of knowledge out there for us to learn. Thinking you know everything, rejecting new methods and vehemently insisting on your ways prevents you from connecting with others. Be open to trying new things.
自以爲無所不知型。學的越多，越覺自己知識匱乏。尚有很多知識的寶藏等着我們發掘。自認無所不知者，拒絕新鮮事物，固守己見，這會切斷你同外界的聯繫。對新事物，要多吸收。

Being a complainer. It’s okay to complain every once in a while, but doing it all too often puts off people. Complaining too much makes you an energy vortex – it becomes draining to be around you. People like to be around positive people, not energy vampires. If you are one, it’s not too late to change – start by focusing on positive things around you and work from there.
怨天怨地型。偶爾抱怨沒事，但過頭了就會惹人反感。怨天尤人讓你的能量產生漩渦—開始榨乾你周圍的人。人都喜歡與積極向上的人爲伍，盜人能量之人並不受歡迎。如果你是這種人，趕緊轉變—多留心身邊積極的事物，以此爲起點。

Not following up on things you agreed on. One of my pet peeves is when people don’t follow up on things they agree on (be it appointments, favors, etc). I think it makes them unreliable and leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. These are the same people that I make a note not to work with in the future.
善變型。有的人總不能堅持自己承諾之事，這讓我最嗤之以鼻（約定也好，幫助也罷）。這讓我覺得此人不可信，也難有對其的好評出自我口。以後工作中也會避免與這些人打交道。

Not listening. Are you present in your conversations with others? Or is your mind on something else? When conversing with someone, learn to not only listen, but listen actively. Seek out the underlying message behind what someone is saying.
充耳不聞型。與人交談時，是否專心傾聽？還是人在心走？與人交談，不光要聽，還要用積極的態度去聽。要知道對方到底想表達什麼內容。