女人愛耍宮心計 勾心鬥角是天性

It's a brave statement to make - and is likely to be countered by the many billions of women who dote on their best female friends. But writer Kelly Valen has sparked controversy in the U.S. by claiming that women are 'inordinately' mean to each other. Her new book, The Twisted Sisterhood, she discusses what she calls 'the dark side of female friendship', and argues why she believes women hate each other far too much。

雖然承認這個事實需要莫大的勇氣，但是女人之間的“小心眼”“勾心鬥角”竟是天性使然？美國兩性著名作家 Kelly Valen毫不客氣地指出，雖然幾億女性都宣稱她們有多愛自己的“閨蜜”，然而事實上女人和自己閨蜜之間“不同程度”上都時不時耍個小心眼、甚至捨得“刻薄”對待自己的女性朋友，換句話來說，那就是“說翻臉就翻臉”！作家 Kelly Valen在自己即將出版的新書中闡述了“她眼中女性友誼之間的黑暗面”，力證“女性之間的恨大於愛”這個觀點。

'Females draw people in, we're intimate, we share so much,' she explained in an interview with The Times today. 'But it is this expectation of warmth and nurturing that creates a greater disappointment. It tees you up for this really great fall.' The mother-of-four, who is a lawyer and part-time writer, says she is not on a mission to criticise her sex. Her book is based on personal experience, and the idea was sparked by a chance meeting with a former sorority 'sister'。

作家 Kelly Valen說，女性一般表面和睦，分享心事，但是內心攀比現象十分嚴重，暗地裏“互掐”是再正常不過的事情。據作家分析，女性之間的互掐並不是她們從一開始打心底就“憎惡”自己的閨蜜，與此相反，更是因爲她們對朝夕相處的閨蜜們“期望過高”而最後目的不能達到後巨大的失落感造成的。身爲4個孩子的母親，作家Kelly Valen承認這本“攻擊女性”的書籍一經出版已經遭到同性們的“板磚”情況，但是她堅稱書籍所宣傳的主張完全是根據她自身真實經歷“有感而發”編寫而成的。

Valen was reminded of a traumatic time at university when she lost her virginity to a fellow student who raped her when she had passed out after getting drunk. But she says the sequence of events that followed was worse still. Her fellow sorority members isolated her, implying that she was to blame for the rape, before eventually excluding her from the club altogether. 'Their betrayal cut so deep that it has left me anxious and cowering to this day,' she wrote。

據悉，Valen大學時候一段悲慘經歷促使她萌發寫書的願望。Valen在大學去酒吧喝酒後遭到強暴，喪失了處女身份的她不但沒受到閨蜜們的同情，反而遭到她們的一致排擠。身敗名裂的Valen不但自己要承受被強暴的痛苦，還要被閨蜜們認定自己纔是被強暴的主要原因，大學時光的經歷讓 Valen徹底會所謂的女性閨蜜們死心，也對她往後的價值觀潛移默化產生巨大影響。

'One minute I was hosting all-girl slumber parties, the next thing I knew a tsunami of mean-girling descended and I found myself feeling awkward and wary around women for more than a decade. 'Expectations ran high, the let-down cut deep, and the fall from that innocent sisterly grace proved very, very steep.' It inspired her to write an article about it for the New York Times, which led to such a huge response from readers that Valen decided to turn her piece into a book。

少年時代的陰影讓Valen 痛苦不堪，她說：“我前一秒中還是她們的同甘苦的好姐妹，下一秒就變成了臭味的蒼蠅！”這段經歷讓Valen傷得非常深，促使她關於“女性之間恨比較多” 的文章在《紐約時報》上發表，沒想到，這篇文章受到廣大好評，這下Valen才決定寫書的！