英語幽默冷笑話6篇
下面是本站小編整理的英語幽默冷笑話，希望對大家有幫助。
英語幽默冷笑話：
"Ten steps from the porch(門廊) and twenty steps from the rose bushes," growled Bluebeard in Jimmy's dream one night. "There be treasure there! Aawrgh."
So the next day Jimmy began to dig. He dug until the hole was deep and the dirt pile was high.
He kept digging. The hole got deeper and the dirt pile got higher.
He dug until the hole was deepest and the dirt pile was at its highest. He sighed. "I'm too tired. I can't dig anymore." Then he spied something... but it was only one of Woofy's bones. Instead of treasure, all Jimmy had was a dog bone, a hole, and a big pile of dirt to fill it in with. He thought "That pirate lied to me!"
But when Jimmy's mother saw what he had done, she clasped(緊抱，扣緊) her hands and smiled a smile from here to Sunday. "Oh, thank you, Jimmy. I always wanted a rhododendron(杜鵑) bush planted just there. Here's $5.00 for digging that hole."
英語幽默冷笑話：可憐的男人
A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.
Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"
The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."
Bartender: "That should make you happy."
The man: "No, the month is up today!"
一個男人坐在酒吧裏，傷心至極。
酒吧招待："你怎麼了?跟老婆鬧矛盾了?"
男人："我們吵了一架，她說一個月都不跟我說話。"
酒吧招待："那你應該高興纔是啊!"
男人："不，今天是這個月的最後一天。"
英語幽默冷笑話：Two Birds
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
兩隻鳥
老師： 這兒有兩隻鳥，一隻是麻雀。誰能指出哪隻是燕子，哪隻是麻雀嗎?
學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老師：請說說看。
學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
英語幽默冷笑話：
Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room.
"Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago."
"Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?"
"To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need the money so badly then."
中文翻譯：
一個看起來很難受的窮人走進大夫的診室。
"大夫!"他說，"幫幫我!一個月前我吞了一分硬幣!"
"天哪，"大夫說，"早幹嘛去了?你當時怎麼不來看?"
"實話告訴您吧，大夫，"窮人說，"我當時還不缺錢!"
英語幽默冷笑話：
La maîtresse dit aux élèves :
- Je vais vous interroger oralement en conjugaison...
Toto, conjugue moi le verbe dire au présent de l'indicatif.
- Heu...
- Je vais t'aider : Je dis... ensuite ?
- Vendredi ! Samedi ! Dimanche !
女教師對學生們說：“我要口頭提問你們的動詞變位…… 託託，說一下dire的直陳式現在時變位。”
“呃……”
“我提示下：Je dis…… 接下來的呢?”
“星期五!星期六!星期天!”
英語幽默冷笑話：誰欠誰錢
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.
律師的狗，沒有拴而到處閒逛，它來到一家肉店，偷走了一塊 烤肉。店主來到律師的辦公室，問道“如果一條沒栓的狗從我的商店裏偷了塊肉，我有權利從狗的主人那裏要回損失嗎?律師答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我 8.50美元，你的狗沒栓而且今天從我的店裏頭了塊肉”，律師什麼都沒說，馬上給他寫了一張支票。一些天后，店主打開郵箱，發現一封來自律師的信，信上寫 道：諮詢費250美元。
