男人不該結婚的10大理由(下)

iage Is Constant "Compromise" (Meaning You Lose, No Matter What)

5.婚姻就是無休止的妥協--你輸了，你輸了，還是你輸了

One of the things that your father or father confessor will continually attempt to drill into your head before you take the plunge is that marriage essentially consists of an endless series of compromises. Now, this is where your recollection of the earliest events of your childhood ought to kick in. To wit, do you remember the various arguments and disagreements that your mother and father engaged in while you were living under their roof? Who won the majority of those arguments?

結婚之前，你的父親或者神父絕對會做的事情之一，就是試圖源源不斷地向你的腦袋裏灌輸一個概念：婚姻實際上包含着無窮無盡的妥協。那麼現下就到了找尋你童年回憶的時候。比如說，曾與父母同住一個屋檐下的你是否記得他們的各種爭吵？多數情況是誰吵贏了？

Sure, your Dad could always lead off strong with the "I'm the bread winner" charge. But wasn't your Mom quick to counter with "Who does the shopping, the clothes folding, the nose wiping for the four year old, etc.?" When all else fails, she fought dirty: Cue up the old reliable water works! Your Dad really never had a chance.

沒錯，老爸一般會理直氣壯地搬出"錢是我掙來的"這個理由，但老媽是不是瞬間列舉出"娃四歲的時候誰給娃買東西、誰給娃疊衣服、誰給娃擦鼻涕……"？當一切理由都無濟於事時，老媽就出損招：讓老爸難享性福！如此一來老爸就真心無計可施了。

Yes, he could stage a "down tools" protest for a couple of hours by heading over to his brother's house to drink a few beers and commiserate in the garage. But, sooner or later, he'd be back, doing exactly what he didn't want to be doing, with the person that he would least enjoy doing it with. Some compromise, eh, Sharky?

老爸的確是會以"罷工"抵抗上那麼幾個小時，去他弟兄的家裏喝上點啤酒，在車庫湊合一段時間，但過不了多久他就回來了，仍舊做他不想做的事，還是和他不願意一起的人一起。一種妥協，對吧，老兄？

Of course, here and there, you'll win a few small victories. You'll get to keep a few of your old high school yearbooks or a few Kiss concert T-shirts that you've almost, but not quite, outgrown. The rest of this compromise business is her domain, which she permits you to live in –pro tempore.

當然了，你多多少少還是能贏得點兒勝利，比如說可以留着舊時高中時期的年鑑或者僅有的幾件有脣印的演唱會T恤，僅此而已，不能再多了，剩下的全部是她的領域，還是在她的同意下暫時留給你一，席，之，地。

You Enjoy The Premarital Sex? Good, Because Post Marriage Sex Is A Myth, Much Like Nessie And Bigfoot

4.你曾享受過婚前性生活嗎？那就好，因爲婚後性生活就是個傳說，就像尼斯湖水怪和大腳怪一樣

Remember all the sweet good times you and your Significant Other had in the sack before you tied the knot? Let's hope they were good enough – and plentiful – enough to last you a life time. As it turns out, you'll need those sweet memories to see you through a long, intercourse free desert of married life, which -need we remind you? – is currently scheduled to last until death do you part.

還記得在踏入婚姻的墳墓前，你跟另一半度過的那段抵死纏綿的時光嗎？希望這段時光足夠美好、足夠豐富，能夠讓你終生難忘。因爲事實證明，你可能需要用這段甜蜜的回憶來填補婚後長期慾求不滿造成的精神與肉體的雙重空虛。還有什麼需要提醒你的呢？嗯——那就是從現在開始，好好計劃在有生之年怎麼維持你的婚姻吧。

The fact of the matter, in case you haven't guessed, is that sexual intercourse decreases sharply after marriage. There's a million logical (and perfectly joyless) reasons why this is so. To begin with, if children are the immediate sequel of your first few weeks of honeymoon sex, you can just imagine how strong your wife's aversion to further potential "accidents" might become.

你完全意想不到的是，婚後的"性福"指數會急劇下降，並且會有無數個正當（完全扯蛋）的理由來破壞你的性生活。首先，你只需想象一下妻子爲了這個"潛在的小意外"會做出多大的改變，你就知道在新婚的蜜月期立刻造出一個小人的假設是多麼的愚蠢。

If children are indeed involved in your life, you can likewise imagine how sharp of a toll that looking after the little bundles of joy will take on your potential allotment of sack whoopie time.

如果你們確實孕育出了一個小生命，你就可以想象一下要分配出無限多的時間來照顧小孩是件多麼坑爹的事情！

There will come a stressful, intercourse free, period during which your little toddler(s) will want to sleep with Mommy and Daddy so as to avoid the monster in the closet. There will come a time when Mommy will simply be so worn out after a stressful day at the office that she will be fast asleep in the bed by the time you've finished brushing your teeth. Prepare for the coming drought.

當孩子還處於爲了躲避衣櫥裏的怪物吵着要跟爸媽睡的年齡段時，你就甭想有和諧的性生活了。當孩子他媽因爲高壓高強度的工作而累得沾枕即睡時，你也只能洗洗睡了。所以，準備好面對婚後性生活的"旱季"吧。

rce: All Good Things, And Some Very Bad Things, Come To An End

3.離婚：所有美好的和一些非常糟糕的事情，都結束了

Previously, we wondered aloud on your behalf whether there was anything truly as terrifying, mortifying, and soul scathing as the average experience of the institution of marriage in the United States. You're in luck! We found something worse: Divorce!

我們曾站在你的立場上聲討過，在美國是否還有比受婚姻制度的壓迫更悽慘、坑爹的經歷呢。恭喜你！我們找到了更糟糕的事情：離婚！

Want to bet half of your income, 18 years of child support payments, and 50 to 90 percent of your property on the slim and shady proposition that your marriage is sure to succeed where over half of all other marriages contracted on the same day will fail? Be our guest!

跟你同日結婚的人中，有超過一半的夫婦都離婚了，你還想賭上一半的收入、18年的撫育費及婚前協議上50%-90%的財產來保證你和另一半能白頭偕老嗎？別傻了，權當看客就好！

Will your soon to be blushing bride lose her bright cheerful smile and adopt a scowling eye when you bring up the subject of a prenuptial agreement? This, more than any other, is the sure forecast of an unsuccessful marriage. Look, if she's not prepared to risk her all, why should you take the plunge for two?

在提到婚前協議時，你老婆的表情會迅速由晴轉雨，分分鐘變身成母夜叉嗎？如果答案是肯定的話，那麼就註定你們的婚姻不會美滿。聽好了，如果她還沒準備好賭上一切，你又何必要冒險呢？

In case you even need to contemplate how potentially costly a divorce may be, let's add another scenario to the mix: It's too costly to consider, especially while the children are too young to leave home, and you'd be on the hook for 10-12 years of support payments. So you wait it out. You wait until the kids are old enough to head off to college.

在你需要盤算離婚所帶來的經濟損失之前，我們不妨換個角度來算一下這筆賬：離婚遠比想象中的燒錢。特別是在孩子年幼時離異，你將承擔10-12年的撫育費。所以要耐心等待，等到孩子上大學後再離也不遲。

How does 18 years of doing time like a long term felon sound to you? Pacing the walls of your cell and cursing the day you ever let yourself be booked into this loveless sham? It happens more often than you think – are your parents still married, chum?

像重刑犯一樣度過的18年婚姻生活聽起來如何？想要擺脫婚姻的牢籠，後悔踏入這無愛的幸福假象？離婚已是家常便飯——親，看看你父母的婚姻狀況就知道嘍。

You A Risk Taker? There's One Big One Left: Marriage

2.你愛冒險嗎？還剩一個大冒險——結婚

Earlier on this list, we pontificated on the fact that getting married pretty ruins the spontaneous lifestyle of both partners, both as solo individuals and as a couple. But, rest assured, there's a distinction to be made here. Being spontaneous doesn't necessarily have to mean that you are intrinsically prone to taking wild risks with your life. After all, there's nothing inherently risky about deciding on the spur of the moment to drive down to the pier for an ice cream cone.

上文所述，婚姻會破壞雙方（原有的）的自在生活方式—不管是個人獨處還是夫妻一起的生活方式都將被迫改變，這未免有些武斷。在這兒我們來做些區分。自在生活，並不是意味着你本就想在野外冒險。畢竟，即時決定開車去碼頭買蛋筒冰激凌本身並不存在風險。

However, if you enjoy truly risky endeavors, such as extreme martial arts competition, surfing rough waves, or cliff diving, you're going to need to check your lust for wild adventure at the chapel door. You certainly won't be able to indulge in such risky and dangerous past times when you're expected to watch the kids on a Saturday morning while your wife is at the supermarket.

如果你真心喜歡冒險，酷愛極限格鬥、衝浪、懸崖跳水等冒險運動，那麼婚前請考慮清楚自己到底有多熱愛野外冒險。因爲婚後你將無法沉浸於往日冒險時光，取而代之的是週六早上當老婆要去逛超市時，你必須要照看孩子。

But, as it turns out, if you really want to live a wild and devil may care sort of existence, getting married has more than its share of potential pitfalls and "winning ugly" scenarios. As stated above, marriage is a proposition in which you essentially stake your home, career, income, and accumulated property on the thin likelihood of making it last for anywhere from 40 to 60 years (sometimes longer). If that's your idea of the ultimate "Take no prisoners" thrill ride, be our guest!

事實證明，如果你愛野外冒險，你就要接受會有危險存在。同樣，婚姻也不像看上去那麼簡單，它也存在一些陷阱和類似"winning ugly" 那樣的場景。正如前面所說，結婚就意味着，你將家庭、事業、收入及所有財產全部押上作爲賭注，希望婚姻持續40到60年（甚至更久），儘管你贏得機會微薄。若你仍想享受《我不是囚犯》（Take no prisoner）中的刺激生活，那還是不要結婚爲好！

iage Lasts Forever (And We Mean It)

1.婚姻恆久遠——（這是說真的！）

The moment you get married, you're married forever. Even if you later divorce, there will always exist a specific time and place within the continuum of eternity in which you were married. Even after the both of you pass away, that moment will exist for the duration of the Universe. Once married, always married. Even if you manage to escape the snake pit with your limbs intact, you will always leave a piece of your soul behind. That's the price.

從結婚的那一刻，你就永遠已婚了。即便你後來離婚了，在永恆的時空中總有那麼一段時間你是已婚的。哪怕你們你年老逝去，（結婚）那一瞬也將在宇宙中永恆。一時結婚，永久已婚。就好像，即便你毫髮無損地逃離了蛇穴，你也會被嚇丟了魂。這就是代價。

Even if it lasts, you may still feel that you have wasted a significant portion of your youth, as well as all of the opportunities that were laid before you, on being married. Many married people, both male and female, express extreme regrets regarding the chances they missed, or could have taken, which were instead sacrificed at the altar of holy matrimony.

即使婚姻延續，你也會覺得婚姻浪費了寶貴的青春時光，已婚狀態使你丟掉很多觸手可及的機會。很多已婚人士，不論男女，都對自己當初因步入婚姻殿堂失去或沒有抓住機會而深感懊悔。

At the end of your life, what memories, what experiences, will you have to look back on? Will you regard the closing days of your existence with something like satisfaction, secure in the knowledge that you have lived a full, well ordered, and happy life? Or will you sigh with regret, despairing to the end over the life you have well and truly wasted?

生命彌留之際，你會記起哪些片段？憶起哪段經歷？你會含笑追憶那幸福、滿足、安排得宜的快樂時光還是沉痛哀悼那灰心喪氣、一無所成的昨日歲月？

Nothing is guaranteed to us in life, including the optimum duration of life itself. Since all things are in flux, it may already be later than you think. If you're still on the search for your ultimate adventure, or your ultimate goal in life, it's time to get on the stick. Marriage will only slow you down. Don't stand still!

生活中萬事無絕對，甚至生命本身也是如此。所有事物都在不斷變化，但這變化也許無法追趕思想的腳步。如果你仍在尋找終極探險目標或追逐生活最終目標，那麼行動起來吧！婚姻只會讓你放慢腳步！別再原地踏步啦！

審校:郗莉紅 編輯:旭旭 來源:前十網