名著精讀:《悉達多》 卡瑪拉(6)

"Yes, this I am able to do, therefore I do not lack clothes, shoes, bracelets, and all beautiful things. But what will become of you? Aren't you able to do anything else but thinking, fasting, making poetry?"
"I also know the sacrificial songs," said Siddhartha, "but I do not want to sing them any more. I also know magic spells, but I do not want to speak them any more. I have read the scriptures--"
"Stop," Kamala interrupted him. "You're able to read? And write?"
"Certainly, I can do this. Many people can do this."
"Most people can't. I also can't do it. It is very good that you're able to read and write, very good. You will also still find use for the magic spells."
In this moment, a maid came running in and whispered a message into her mistress's ear.
"There's a visitor for me," exclaimed Kamala. "Hurry and get yourself away, Siddhartha, nobody may see you in here, remember this! Tomorrow, I'll see you again."
But to the maid she gave the order to give the pious Brahman white upper garments. Without fully understanding what was happening to him, Siddhartha found himself being dragged away by the maid, brought into a garden-house avoiding the direct path, being given upper garments as a gift, led into the bushes, and urgently admonished to get himself out of the grove as soon as possible without being seen.
Contently, he did as he had been told. Being accustomed to the forest, he managed to get out of the grove and over the hedge without making a sound. Contently, he returned to the city, carrying the rolled up garments under his arm. At the inn, where travellers stay, he positioned himself by the door, without words he asked for food, without a word he accepted a piece of rice-cake. Perhaps as soon as tomorrow, he thought, I will ask no one for food any more.
Suddenly, pride flared up in him. He was no Samana any more, it was no longer becoming to him to beg. He gave the rice-cake to a dog and remained without food.
"Simple is the life which people lead in this world here," thought Siddhartha. "It presents no difficulties. Everything was difficult, toilsome, and ultimately hopeless, when I was still a Samana. Now, everything is easy, easy like that lessons in kissing, which Kamala is giving me. I need clothes and money, nothing else; this a small, near goals, they won't make a person lose any sleep."
He had already discovered Kamala's house in the city long before, there he turned up the following day.

“是的，我會，因此我也就不缺衣裳、鞋子、手鐲以及一切漂亮的東西。而你會什麼呢？除了思考、齋戒和作詩，你別的都不會嗎？”
“我還會唱祭祀歌曲。”席特哈爾塔說，“可是我不願再唱。我會念咒語，可是我也不願再念。我讀過經書——”
“停！”卡瑪拉打斷他，“你會讀書？還會寫字？”
“我當然會。不少人都會。”
“可是大多數人不會！我也不會。好極了，你會讀書寫字，好極了！那些咒語你也會用得着！”
這時，一個女僕跑來，向女主人低聲報告一個消息。
“來客人了。”卡瑪拉大聲說，“快去吧，席特哈爾塔，記着，別讓人看見你在這兒！明天我再見你。”
好又吩咐女僕給這個虔誠的婆羅門一件白上衣。席特哈爾塔還沒明白是怎麼回事，就被女僕帶走，繞彎路到了一處有花園的房子，並且得到了一件白上衣，然後又被送進了灌木叢。女僕叮囑他別讓人看見，馬上離開林苑。
他心滿意足地照辦了。他早就習慣了樹林，便無聲地溜出了林苑，翻過了籬笆。他滿意地回到城裏，胳臂下夾着那件捲起來的衣服。他站在一家行人出出進進的旅店門口，默默地化緣，默默地收下了一個飯糰。他心想，也許明天我就不用再化緣了。
自豪突然在他心中油然而生。他不再是沙門，不適合再向人化緣了。他把那個飯糰丟給了一個只，沒吃飯。
“人在這個世界上過的生活其實很簡單，”席特哈爾塔心想，“沒什麼困難。我當沙門時一切都很難，十分吃力而且到頭來毫無希望。可現在一切都很輕鬆，輕鬆得就像卡瑪拉給我上的親吻課，我需要衣服和錢，沒有別的，而這些都是很小很近的目標，不會攪得人睡不好覺。”
他早就打聽到了卡瑪拉在城裏的住處，第二天便找到了那兒。