英語幽默故事帶翻譯
下面是本站小編整理的英語幽默故事帶翻譯，歡迎大家閱讀!
英語幽默故事帶翻譯：瘋人院 The Looney Bin
Late one night at the insane asylum (瘋人院)one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "God told me!"
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"
一天晚上，在瘋人院裏，一個病人說：“我是拿破崙!”另一個說：“你怎麼知道?”第一個人說：“上帝對我說的!”一會兒，一個聲音從另一個房間傳來：“我沒說!”
英語幽默故事帶翻譯：我要做的一切就是付錢!All I do is pay
"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My
wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,
and my daughter is foreign secretary."
"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your
position?"
"I’m the people. All I do is pay."
布朗先生告訴同事說：“我的家簡直就象一個國家一樣。我妻子
是財政部長。我岳母是作戰部長，我女兒是外交祕書。”
“聽上去挺有意思的，”他的同事說，“那你的職務是什麼呢?”
“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付錢。”
英語幽默故事帶翻譯：喂狗 For the Dog
The family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter.
"My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?"
"Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"
一家人在飯館裏吃過晚飯，父親把服務生叫了過來。
”先生，什麼事?“服務生問。
”我兒子的盤子裏剩下許多肉，“父親說，”能給我們一個袋子嗎?我把剩下的東西帶回去喂狗。“
”啊呀，爸爸!“兒子激動地叫喊着。”咱家養狗了嗎?“
英語幽默故事帶翻譯：腦移植 A Brain Transplant
The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.
"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient, "For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."
The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.
The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it’s not better, just unused."
一個外科醫生正要作一個腦移植手術。
“你可以從兩個腦子中選一個給你。”醫生告訴病人，“一個心理學家的大腦1000美元，一個政治家的大腦10000美元。
病人很驚訝二者之間這樣大的差別，“政治家的大腦好一些嗎?”他問。
醫生說：“不是好一些，只是沒有用過。”
英語幽默故事帶翻譯：最醜的孩子
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
一位女士抱着她的寶寶上公交車，司機看到後說：“額，那是我這輩子見過的最醜的小孩。”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
女士走到車廂後面坐下，感到很憤怒。她對旁邊的男士說：“司機剛剛羞辱了我。”男士迴應說：“你快上去斥責他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。”
英語幽默故事帶翻譯：我娶了你的姐妹
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.
一位婦人發現丈夫回家的時候總是爛醉如泥，她決定爲丈夫治好這個毛病。一個萬聖節夜裏，她穿上一套魔鬼戲服，躲在樹後，準備在丈夫返家時攔截他的去路。
When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
當丈夫走近時，她從樹後跳出來，站到他面前，頭上帶着紅色的羊角、身後有長長的尾巴，手中握着鋼叉。
"Who are you?" he asked.
“你是誰?”丈夫問到。
"I'm the Devil!" she responded.
“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。
"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"
“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫說，“我娶了你的姐妹!”
英語幽默故事帶翻譯：小女孩的願望
On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.
在觀看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼兒園老師問學生的觀後感。班上最小的女孩說，她希望舞蹈演員可以長得更高一點兒，那麼他們就不用整天踮着腳尖了。
英語幽默故事帶翻譯：狗也知道這個諺語嗎?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。
“沒有關係，”一位先生“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”
英語幽默故事帶翻譯：不是我的錯
It's not my fault
Mother (reprimanding訓斥，譴責 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.
Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.
不是我的錯
媽媽(正教訓她的女兒)：你不該拽貓的尾巴。
女兒：媽，我只是握着貓尾巴，它自己在拽。
英語幽默故事帶翻譯：父親在哪?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”
“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”
哥哥想了一會兒，然後解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”
英語幽默故事帶翻譯：兩塊蛋糕
Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
兩塊蛋糕
湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?
媽媽：當然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!
英語幽默故事帶翻譯：I do not recognize you
Walking on the beach one day he saw a crab1, went to see what happens, suddenly crab pincers(鉗子) folder2, then crab bush run. Tiger jumped the pain, followed by the recovery of crabs3!
Catch up with no trees on the crab, and then to see a tiger in Shou Network spiders, tiger angry at Spider: Good you a crab! Do you think you posted on the Web and I do not recognize you!
一天老虎在沙灘散步，見到一隻螃蟹，就走過去想看個究竟，突然被螃蟹的鉗子夾了一下，螃蟹拔腿就往樹叢裏跑。老虎痛得跳起來了，緊接着就追螃蟹!
追到樹叢就不見螃蟹了，這時老虎看見一隻守在大網中的蜘蛛，老虎對着蜘蛛發火了：好你個螃蟹!你以爲你上了網我就不認得你了!
