婚前同居情況越來越普遍 同居時代來臨

The number of unmarried cohabiting couples in the US increased more than 17 fold between 1960 and 2010, according to a recent US Census Bureau report.

根據美國人口普查局最新報告顯示，美國未婚同居情侶人數在1960年至2010年間增加了17倍以上。

The benefits of cohabitation are obvious: It provides economies of scale as two can live more cheaply than one. It also encourages economic specialization by allowing individuals to focus on their unique skills while leaving other duties to their spouse.

同居的好處顯而易見：二人生活更省錢，從而帶來規模經濟效益；同時二人生活還有利於經濟分工，各自管好擅長領域，其餘事情留給另一半。

A recent study conducted by the online rental site of 1,000 cohabiting individuals in the US, found that 32 percent said living together helped them determine if their partner was “the one”.

根據房地產租賃網站對全美1000名同居者進行的一項最新研究顯示，32%的人認爲同居有助於判斷對方是否就是“命中註定的那個人”。

Ellen Mayr, a 25-year-old lawyer from Brisbane, Australia, has been living with her boyfriend for the last three years and is a big advocate of cohabitation. She says: “It’s important to know if you can work as a domestic unit as it’s not always a reflection of how much you love each other. It’s a function of how well you work together under all sorts of different stressors.”

25歲的艾倫·邁爾是一名來自澳大利亞布里斯班的律師，過去三年一直和男友同住的她是個不折不扣的“同居主義”。她說：“弄清你們能否組建家庭這點非常重要，因爲這並不一定與感情深淺成正比。而是取決於面對各種壓力時你們是否能很好地相處。”

The cohabitation rate is also on the rise among young Chinese. Author and relationship expert Marshall Miller believes cohabiting allows people to get to the “nitty-gritty” of the relationship before committing to marriage. “Cohabitation is a lot like turning the TV to your favorite channel — and then leaving it on 24/7”, he says. “You’re bound to see some stuff you don’t like much.”

與美國的情況類似，中國年輕人的同居率也正在上升。作家兼情感專家馬歇爾·米勒認爲，同居能讓人們在步入婚姻殿堂前瞭解戀情的“本質”。“同居就好比把電視節目調到自己最喜愛的頻道，然後一週24小時循環連播”，他說，“你一定會看到一些不太喜歡的內容。”

Different ways

不同的方式

Mayr also warns that you shouldn’t jump into cohabitation too early. She recounts the story of her friend who bought a house with her boyfriend early on in the relationship. Soon after, they realized they were not ready for that level of commitment and broke up.

此外，邁爾也提醒年輕人不要太早步入同居行列。她講到了一位朋友的故事，那位朋友和男友剛戀愛不久就買了房子，但他們很快就意識到了自己還沒有達到談婚論嫁的程度，於是就分手了。

According to a 2013 sociological study cited in The Atlantic, 74 percent of cohabiting women are “completely committed” to their partner, while only 59 percent of men said the same. This represents a large divide in expectations among cohabitants, which can often lead to relationship problems later on.

美國《大西洋月刊》援引了2013年的一項社會學研究稱，74%的同居女性對伴侶“全身心投入”，而只有59%的男性表示會這樣做。這表明同居男女對彼此的期望存在巨大分歧，這往往會導致之後情感問題的出現。

In order to bridge this gap, experts encourage couples to discuss their expectations with each other and ensure they have similar ideas about their relationship before taking any big steps.

爲了縮小這一反差，專家鼓勵情侶在感情取得實質性跨越之前，應互相討論彼此的期望，確保對感情抱有相似的看法。

Rebecca Baquet, a 24-year-old business manager from Louisiana, US, has been dating her boyfriend for two years but doesn’t want to move in with him. “I don’t want to live with him until we’re married to keep it as something to look forward to”, she says. “Otherwise, if you’re living together before you’re married there won’t be a difference in the way your normal lives operate and the significance of marriage is reduced.”

24歲的麗貝卡·巴奎特是來自美國路易斯安那州的一名業務經理，她與男友已相戀兩年，但還不想同居。“爲了保持對同居的那份期待，我還不想和他婚前同居”，她說，“此外，若是未婚同居，那婚前婚後的生活就沒有差別，結婚的意義會因此大打折扣。”

This shows cohabitation doesn’t necessarily work for everyone and there are many ways different people like to progress and evolve in their relationship.

綜上所述，婚前同居並非適用於所有人，人們也會選擇不同方式來爲感情加溫。