5個辦法幫你改變猶豫不決的性格
1. Test them against your values.
So many times we have to make decisions without a framework and no way to judge between two choices. When faced with a tricky decision it’s often a good idea to line up your choices and ask “Which one of these most honours the things that mean the most to me?”
The decision that’s most in line with the things that mean the most to you – your core values – will be the best decision for you. That might not be the simplest or most practical, but because it fits with who you are and what’s most important to you it will always be the best decision for you.
1.用自己的價值觀來評定
很多次我們在兩個選擇之間徘徊，沒有一個固定的構架或判斷的方法來拿定主意。當我們面臨一個需要機警判斷的決定時，通常我們會有一個好主意那就是把所有的選擇按重要與否排成一條線，然後問一下自己“這些選擇中哪一個讓我覺得最值？”你所做的決定是這條選擇鏈裏對你來說最重要的----你的核心價值觀------將會是你最好的選擇。這也許不是最簡單的或者最現實的，但確實最適合你的。對你來說最重要的就是最好的選擇。
2. Trust your gut.
When I was growing up I used to love rainy Sunday afternoons watching Columbo, especially the bit at the end where he’d sidle up to the Bad Guy, say “Just one more thing” and then proceed to blow apart the bad guys alibi. Just brilliant.
What Columbo had bundles of was a great trust in his intuition. In every episode, from the very moment he first meets the bad guy, he knows ‘whodunnit’ – and he always trusts that.
So look at what your intuition tells you is the ‘right’ decision for you. Forget about all the “What if’s” and the myriad, tiny details – what is your gut telling you? Listen to your intuition, it knows what it’s talking about.
2.相信自己的直覺
在漸漸長大的歲月中我喜歡在下着雨的星期天的下午觀看《神探哥倫布》，特別是放到最後他悄悄的走近壞人然後抓住他們說“還有一件事情”然後把犯罪者無力的辯解駁得體無完膚並道出他們的罪狀。他看起來是那樣充滿智慧。他總是對他的直覺深信不疑。在每一個案子中，最初見到犯罪者時直覺告訴他“就是這個人”-----而他總是深信不疑。
那麼看一下你的直覺告訴你哪個選擇是“正確”的吧。忘掉那些“如果這樣將會怎樣”和無數的微小的細節-----你最本質的內心告訴你什麼了？相信你的直覺，他跟你一樣瞭解整件事情。
3. It just doesn’t matter.
My decision between breakfast cereals wasn’t a biggie. Whichever one I chose, there were never going to be any huge consequences and the ripples from that decision wouldn’t have been felt much further than the end of my spoon. Sometimes it just doesn’t matter which way you go.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in second guessing yourself, going round in circles and over-complicating things, when – if you get right down to it – it just doesn’t matter. Going round in circles is only going to make you dizzy, so stop it. Ask yourself this question – if your future happiness wasn’t dependent on your decision (and it isn’t, by the way), which way would you go?
3.不要過於糾結
我關於早餐吃什麼穀類的決定沒什麼大不了的，無論我選擇吃哪一種，都不會產生重大的影響，而且伴隨這種決定而來的任何感覺在我最後一勺吃完前早已煙消雲散。有時候，選哪一種都沒有關係。
人們很容易陷入爲自己的第二念而動搖中，不斷的循環而重複他們的思考，讓事情複雜化，特別是當----你必須要做的時候----沒有關係放手做吧。陷入循環的思考只會讓你頭暈，所以不如立刻停止。問你自己一個問題-----如果你的幸福以前不會（現在或者將來也不會）取決於這個決定，你會如何選擇
4. Have enough information.
Go and get the facts before you make a complex decision. By all means weigh up the pro’s and con’s so that you can get an understanding of what’s behind a choice. But be careful – there’s a huge difference between knowing enough to make a choice, and knowing everything to make a choice.
When you feel yourself pursuing every fact or every piece of information before you make a decision, stop yourself. Ask “What do I really need to know to make this decision?” and focus your efforts on getting the best information relatively quickly, rather than pursuing all of the information you could get your hands on given a longer period of time.
4.儘可能多地蒐集信息
在你需要做一個複雜的決定前先去搜集足夠的數據。務必在所有支持和反對的兩面加以權衡，使你能清晰地瞭解選擇背後的分量。但是請小心，對某事足夠了解而做出決定和對某事完全瞭解而做出決定，兩者具有很大的不同。
當你感覺你在試圖尋找每一點事實或逐一排查信息來作出你的選擇時，請暫停。問一下自己“要作出這個選擇我真正需要知道的是什麼？”相對於逐一地搜尋所有的信息，迅速且集中地找一些相對而言比較重要的數據將會省下很多時間。
5. Respect your doubts.
We all naturally shy away from change, and we’ve developed a whole bunch of tricks that make it easy for us to avoid making decisions and stay exactly where we are. That part of you is often called the “Gremlin”, and it’s the part of you that would rather avoid making decisions altogether rather than run the risk of making a bad one or screwing up.
Your Gremlin is not the same thing as having doubts, which are valid concerns about a possible course of action, or reasonable concerns about what might be in store. Your doubts can help you prepare for change and get ready for what could happen.
Your Gremlin is adept at feeding on your doubts and using them to get you to stay put, so knowing the difference between your Gremlin and your valid doubts helps you clarify what’s real and what’s imagined, what’s relevant and what’s irrelevant.
5.尊重自己的懷疑
當面對改變的時候我們都會本能的逃避，我們會找一堆謊話來欺騙自己做出決定，繼續留在原地不動。那部分自己經常被稱作“膽小鬼”，他會讓我們寧可不做決定也不要冒風險去做一個壞的的，糟糕的選擇。這個膽小鬼跟疑慮不一樣，疑慮是對行動中可能發生的事情或者潛藏事物的合理擔心。疑慮可以幫助你爲潛在的變化做好準備。
你頭腦中的膽小鬼擅長以疑慮爲食讓你保持原地停滯不前，所以分清楚膽小鬼和合理的疑慮的不同將幫助你區分事實與幻象，相關的和不相干的因素。
