雙語閱讀：初次約會的4個技巧

以下是小編整理的英語文章：初次約會的4個技巧， 希望能對大家的英語學習有幫助。

Travel, Not Movies

　　1.談旅遊，別談電影

In a study by Richard Wiseman, less than 9% of couples that talked movies wanted a second date vs 18% of couples that talked about travel.

在理查德·懷斯曼做的一項研究中，想要第二次約會的人中，雙方談論電影的不到9%，而雙方談論旅行的佔了18%。

When talking about movies, less than 9 percent of the pairs wanted to meet up again, compared to 18 percent when participants spoke about the top topic—travel… the conversations about travel tended to revolve around great holidays and dream destinations, and that makes people feel good and so appear more attractive to one another.

如果約會時談論電影，那只有不到9%的約會雙方會想再次見面，相比之下，如果談論旅遊，就有18%的人想要第二次約會…關於旅遊的對話往往圍繞着休閒的假期和夢想的旅遊勝地而展開，旅遊度假這個話題使人感覺良好，這個話題能讓雙方都互相更有吸引力。

’s Not Just What You Talk About, It’s How You Talk

　　2.不在於你談什麼，而在於你怎麼談

Add to what they say and bounce the ball is how to have smooth first date conversation.

把對方談的話題進行補充，再把問題拋給對方，進行新一輪交流。這樣纔是第一次約會順利交談愉快聊天的方式。

Avoid extremes in autonomy. Don’t dominate, but don’t be a non-contributor either.

不要極端地把控話語權。不佔主導地位，但也不要做完全被動的角色。

e Secrets

　　分享祕密

Emotional, personal information exchange during first date conversation promotes powerful feelings of connection.

第一次約會交流感情、互相交換個人信息能大大促進感情的聯繫。

A psychologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, is interested in how people form romantic relationships, and he’s come up with an ingenious way of taking men and women who have never met before and making them feel close to one another. Given that he has just an hour or so to create the intimacy levels that typically take weeks, months, or years to form, he accelerated the getting-to-know-you process through a set of thirty-six questions crafted to take the participants rapidly from level one in McAdams’s system to level two.[/en]

紐約州立大學斯托尼布魯克分校的一位心理學家對於人們是如何形成浪漫關係這方面的研究很感興趣，他想出了一個巧妙的計策把從來沒有見過面的男女讓他們感覺彼此親近。通常需要幾周、幾個月或幾年的時間才能產生親密感，而通過這一策略用一小時左右的時間就可以，他通過制定了一組問題，包括36個問題對參與者進行測試，就加速了美好感覺的產生過程，在麥克亞當斯的系統中，級別迅速從一級提升到二級。

But how effective can this be, really?

但效果到底如何?真有這麼神奇嗎?

In under an hour it can create a connection stronger than a lifelong friendship.

在一個小時內建立起來的感情比終身友誼的感情更強烈。

What he found was striking. The intensity of the dialogue partners’ bond at the end of the forty-five-minute vulnerability interaction was rated as closer than the closest relationship in the lives of 30 percent of similar students. In other words, the instant connections were more powerful than many long-term, even lifelong relationships.

他的發現非常驚人。45分鐘的對話時間結束雙方所建立起來的親密感，類似30%的學生在生活中行成的最親密的感情。換句話說，即時建立起來的親密感超越了許多長期培養的感情，甚至比終身培養起來的感情還要強大。

se Controversial Over Dull Every Time

　　4.每次約會的爭論氣氛勝於沉悶氣氛

If all else fails, talk about abortions and STD’s.

如果其他話題都爭論不起來的話，爭論一下墮胎和性病傳播這類問題。

Forcing people to discuss interesting but more controversial topics made for more enjoyable first date conversation.

迫使大家討論有意思但更有爭議性的話題，營造這樣的氣氛會讓第一次約會交談的氣氛更令人愉快。

We limited the type of discussions that online daters could engage in by eliminating their ability to ask anything that they wanted and giving them a preset list of questions and allowing them to ask only these questions. The questions we chose had nothing to do with the weather and how many brothers and sisters they have, and instead all the questions were interesting and personally revealing (ie.,“how many romantic partners did you have?”, “When was your last breakup?”, “Do you have any STDs?”, “Have you ever broken someone’s heart?”, “How do you feel about abortion?”)… Instead of talking about the World Cup or their favorite desserts, they shared their innermost fears or told the story of losing their virginity. Everyone, both sender and replier, was happier with the interaction…What we learned from this little experiment is that when people are free to choose what type of discussions they want to have, they often gravitate toward anequilibrium that is easy to maintain but one that no one really enjoys or benefits from.

我們對網上交友者所討論的話題限定類型，不允許想問什麼就問什麼，把可以問的問題給他們列出一個表，只允許他們問這些問題。我們選擇的問題與天氣無關，也不問有多少兄弟姐妹，所有的問題都很有意思，而且都能從問題的回答中看出每個人的個性(如，“你談過多少次戀愛?”“你上一次分手是什麼時候?”“你有性病嗎?”“你傷過別人的心嗎?”“你對墮胎這個問題怎麼看?”)…不談論世界盃或自己喜歡的甜點，分享彼此內心深處的恐懼或者告訴對方自己失身的祕密。每個人既要向對方講述自己的故事也要傾聽對方的傾訴，進行快樂互動…我們從這個小實驗中可以瞭解到大家自由選擇自己想要討論什麼話題，他們往往傾向平衡易於維護，但不會從中體驗到真正的愉悅感受或從中受益。