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如何與陌生人發起交談對話?

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在遇到陌生人時或在冷場的情況下,你是否會想到要說些什麼來發起大家的交談?如果有這樣的想法,那你又是否知道哪些談話開場白(conversation starter)是人們所喜歡的?

今天就來教大家如何發起談話吧。雖然我們所說的這些開場白非常簡單,但這可不是在愚弄大家,因爲它們確實有效。有一點大家必須知道,使用這些開場白的目的是引起談話,我們所要做的只是打破沉默,而不是逗別人開心或引起別人的好感。因爲如果你想着要用第一句話就讓人眼前一亮、對你刮目相看,那隻會令你自己感到緊張而怯於發起談話的。

如何與陌生人發起交談對話?

這次要跟大家分享的是那些適用於在任何情況下對任何人發起談話的開場白。

1. 換個方式問"How are you?":
"How are you doing right now?"
"How's your day been so far?"
同樣是問"你過得怎樣?"但是如此問的效果要好很多,因爲沒人想去回答甚至思考一下像"How are you?"這樣一個過於陳腐的問題。2. 人們總是樂意談論最近發生的新鮮事:
"What's happened for you today?"
"How was your trip?"
"How'd you sleep last night?"

3. 藉助情境,簡單評論一下身邊事物:
"What do you think of that book?"
"Looks like a great drink. What is it?"
"I love this place because it's got great energy."

4. 以讚美來開頭:
"I like your posture. It makes you stand out nicely."
"Nice shirt. Where did you get it?"
"I love your style!"

5. 談談天氣:
"It's so hot today."
"The great sun is burning this afternoon."
"It's freezing! Do you know the temperature?"
這個方式經常被提到,但是美國漫畫家Kin Hubbard說,"Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while."要用天氣這種通常情況下沒有太多變化的東西來發起談話並非一定容易,所以也不可過分倚重於此。

6. 降低姿態:
"I don't know anyone around here so I thought I'd come talk to you."
"I'm a little nervous talking with strangers, but I just had to come say hi."
"I know no one here so I thought I'd introduce myself to you."
這類我們可以稱之爲"vulnerable introduction",也就是在開場白中顯露出自己的惶恐憂慮,這樣比較容易讓人願意接近。

10. 閒聊假期:
"How's your Christmas preparations going?"
"How'd the New Year go for you?"
"Spring Break has been crazy. What's happened to you at Spring Break so far?"
問問對方爲假期做了哪些準備、假期裏有什麼有趣的經歷等等,這樣的話題每個人都有內容可以談。

7. 坦率表明自己想要接近的原因:
"I'm out meeting new, interesting people tonight. Mind if we chat for a minute?"
"You guys look like you're having fun. That's so cool that I just had to come talk to you."
"I had to come talk to you because your shirt made me laugh."

8. 瞭解即時訊息,談談熱門事件:
"I was just listening to radio on my way here and can't believe what happened in Africa."
如果你不是那種喜歡啃報紙、聽新聞的人,那就可以以詢問對方有什麼新鮮事的方式來發起談話。另外,在這樣的對話中可以多用些幽默來緩解一下緊張嚴肅的氣氛。

9. 以過去的偶然交集來開頭:
"I believe we saw each other at James' party."
"I think we ran into each other at the trade event last month."
"Did we meet last year at Church?"