職場女性如何跨過"信心鴻溝"

In a new book, The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance – What Women Should Know, two high-profile TV journalists, Claire Shipman and Katty Kay, say women are less confident than men even when they are equally competent. They cite studies that suggest this lack of confidence is getting in the way of more women getting ahead. The authors have seen it in themselves and in interviews with powerful people.
在一本名爲《信心代碼：女性應該掌握的自信科學與藝術》(The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance – What Women Should Know)的新書中，兩位著名的電視記者克萊爾•希普曼和凱蒂•肯表示，女性不如男性那麼自信，甚至當她們具備同等能力時也是如此。她們援引的衆多研究顯示，缺乏自信正在成爲許多女性事業發展的攔路虎。這兩位作者發現，這個問題不僅她們自己身上存在，就連她們採訪的許多權勢人物也深受其害。

As a communications coach for the last decade, I'm not surprised. I've not only seen it, but I've asked women why to help find solutions.
作爲一位過去10年來一直從事溝通培訓工作的教練，我對這個結論並不感到驚訝。我不僅看到了這個問題，而且還詢問過不少女性，她們爲什麼缺乏信心，希望找到解決之道。

In the last year it seems every other week there is an article or study or survey about executive presence as a challenge for women. Executive presence -- looking and sounding like a leader -- is often a euphemism for confidence. Businesses don't approach me to help an executive because he or she lacks confidence, but because they need to "polish their presence." Nobody wants to acknowledge that their leader lacks confidence. Indeed, most often I've found they are confident in the job they do -- they just don't look it or feel deep down that they deserve success.
過去一年來，似乎每隔一週就會有一篇文章、一項研究或調查把“高管風範”列爲女性面臨的挑戰之一。高管風範，也就是形象和說話像一位領導者，往往是信心的委婉說法。不少企業找我幫助某位高管，不是因爲他或她缺乏信心，而是因爲他們需要“打磨一下風範”。沒有人願意承認自己的領導者缺乏信心。實際上，我經常發現這些領導者對自己的工作很有信心——他們只是看起來或者在內心深處覺得自己配不上這種成功。

In my decade of coaching top executives, this is far more often the case with women.
在我培訓高管的10年中，女性高管碰到這一問題的頻率遠高於男性。

For instance, I once worked with a well-educated executive who was dealing with her fear of speaking. When I pressed her about what exactly she was afraid of, she said she feared people would think she is not smart enough. This irrational fear was making her stiff, formal, and unemotional when she needed to emote to promote her organization's good work around the world.
比如，我曾經幫助一位女性高管克服對發言的恐懼心理。我追問這位受過良好教育的女士，問她究竟怕什麼，她說她擔心人們會認爲她不夠聰明。當她需要在世界各地聲情並茂地宣揚所在組織的傑出工作時，這種非理性的恐懼讓她變得非常拘謹，過於正式，顯得無動於衷。

And within the last year training high-potential women at several financial services firms, leaders identified two main communication challenges: First, they said women don't ask for reviews as often as men, and men were afraid of offering feedback for fear of women getting emotional or defensive. Secondly, they said women don't sit up front and participate like men. The communication challenges were holding women back. In the session, I asked the crowd for reaction. One young woman said it's hard to squeeze in or speak up in a man's club. Another said she doesn't participate because she's afraid they'll dismiss her and her ideas if she didn't have all the answers.
去年，在多家金融服務公司培訓極具潛力的女性僱員期間，公司領導者確定了兩大溝通挑戰：其一，他們說女性往往不像男性那樣頻繁地尋求外界的複覈；與此同時，由於擔心女性變得情緒化或者產生戒備心理，男性也不敢提出反饋意見。其二，他們說女性也不願意像男性那樣坐在前排，積極參與討論。這些溝通挑戰正在打擊女性高管的職業生涯。我在培訓會上提出了這些問題，想看看她們作何反應。一位年輕女性說，她很難擠入男性俱樂部，或者面對一羣男性侃侃而談。另一位說她不參與討論的原因是，她擔心要是她沒有掌握所有的答案，他們會無視她本人和她的想法。

So how can women start feeling more confident?
那麼，女性怎樣才能提升自信心呢？

I suggest clients look at a FedEx (FDX) ad -- the one where two guys say the same thing at a conference table, but the second guy is confident. The first, more junior guy floats his idea as a question, his voice goes up at the end of the statement. (Young girls listen up. That's UP speak.) As he speaks, his eyes dart around the table, he's crunched over leaning on his elbows, and he looks disheveled. The second man sits up, slightly forward. His voice goes down at the end of his thought with conviction. He looks distinctly at a few people at the table vs. scanning. The only script difference is that he leads off with a line, "Okay, how 'bout this ..." Then he pauses, and that reels in attention.
我建議客戶欣賞一則聯邦快遞(FedEx)的廣告——在這則廣告中，有兩個人在會議期間講了同樣一番話，但第二個傢伙顯得信心十足。先發言的那位資歷稍淺，他以問題的方式拋出自己的見解。臨近發言結束時，他的聲音上揚了一下。（小姑娘們聽好了，這就是所謂的高聲發言。）進行陳述時，他的眼睛掃視四周，胳膊肘嘎吱嘎吱地支撐在桌面上，而且他的外形看起來不夠整潔。後發言的那位則坐直身子，身體微微前傾。即將結束之際，他的聲音突然變得低沉，給人以確信不疑之感。他顯然是在注視，而不是掃視坐在桌子四周的幾個人。腳本中唯一的差異是，正式發言前，他先說了一句開場白，“好吧，大家聽聽這個看法怎麼樣？”然後，他暫停了一下，頓時集中了與會者的注意力。

Easy enough, but here's how women can do better:
很容易吧，但本文要重點討論的是，女性如何才能改善自己的表現：

It's the way we look and look
不要過於在意形象，過分顧及別人的反應

In a decade of coaching, I can count on one hand the number of men who have been bothered by the way they look on camera, and let me assure you it's not because they all look so good. Women on the other hand cannot focus on the coaching if they feel they don't look their best. This is all understandable. It's one of the reasons I don't miss being on TV at the crack of dawn. Visually, we have more clothing and hair choices than men, and we have long been judged on our looks no matter what the job and how well you do. Ask Hilary Clinton.
在10年的教練生涯中，爲上鏡形象而煩惱的男性屈指可數。我向你保證，這決不是因爲男性高管個個英俊瀟灑，氣度不凡。另一方面，如果女性覺得沒有呈現出自己最好的一面，她們就不會把心思放在培訓本身。這都可以理解。我自己一點都不懷念在破曉時分上電視的那些日子，這就是其中一個原因。就外表而言，我們女性擁有的服飾和髮型選擇比男性多得多。對於女性，人們一直奉行以貌取人的標準，無論她們從事什麼工作，做出了多大的成就。在這個問題上，最有發言權的恐怕是希拉里•克林頓。

Then there's the way we look, the way we see. Women tend to take in more than men. In The Female Vision: Women's Real Power at Work, Sally Helgesen and Julie Johnson note that women possess "broad spectrum notice." We notice the emotional reactions to an idea around the conference table, allowing us to gauge support. But that also means women are more likely to get thrown off by the one person who isn't buying what they're selling vs. a man who doesn't see or care what that guy thinks. Women are pleasers and multi-taskers. This can be a disadvantage when it comes to confidence.
再有就是我們觀察周圍事物的方式。女性往往比男性注意到更多東西。在《女性視野：職場女性的真實權力》(The Female Vision: Women's Real Power at Work)一書中，莎莉•赫爾格森和朱莉•約翰遜注意到，女性具有“廣譜察覺”。我們可以察覺與會者對一個觀點的情緒反應，以此衡量她獲得的支持度。但這也意味着，女性更容易被一位並不認同自己觀點的人擊潰，而男性往往察覺不到、或者根本就不關心別人的看法。女性是取悅者，多面手。這可能是一個有損自信心的劣勢。The prescription in both of these cases is training yourself to freeze out your frown lines as well as the guy who is frowning and focus on positive people as well as your purpose. In a study featured in the Harvard Business Review, researchers found that executive presence can only be improved if women focused not just on their style but also on their purpose -- their reason for communicating.
應對這兩種狀況的處方是，嘗試着凍結自己的皺眉紋，無視那個正在皺眉頭的傢伙，全身心地專注於反應積極的人和你自身的目的。一項刊登在《哈佛商業評論》(Harvard Business Review)的研究發現，只有當女性不僅僅看重自身形象，而且還專注於自己的目的時，她們纔有望提升自己的高管風範。

Speak up, but avoid up speak and squeak
大膽發言，但要避免聲音尖利

Women have a larger vocal range and when nervous tend to get high-pitched. Studies show people think lower voice tones sound more confident. After all, men have been the model for leaders for years. The fix here is recording yourself and practice using the lower range of what is normal for you. It worked for former U.K. Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and can work for you too!
女性擁有更加寬廣的音域，緊張時調門往往會變高。研究顯示，低音聽起來更加自信。畢竟，多年來被奉爲楷模的領導者大多是男性。解決之道是，給自己錄音，練習自己正常音域的低音部分。英國前首相撒切爾夫人就曾經使用過這種方法，效果極佳，它對你也同樣奏效。

Don't hold back too long or serve up too much
沉默不是金，不要說太多的客套話

Women tend to hold back at the table. Like the woman at my financial services seminar, they fear they don't have all the facts. Recently I worked with a C-suite woman new to a business. She admitted she hadn't spoken up at executive meetings because she wanted to wait until she had more information. It had been two months. I suggested that she was being too cautious, too modest. She had years of related experience in another large organization. Remind them, I said, and chime in. She did.
每當開會的時候，女性往往欲言又止。就像我的培訓會上那位金融服務公司女僱員一樣，她們擔心自己還沒有掌握全部事實。最近，我指導了一位剛加入一家新公司的高管級女士。她承認，自己以前在高管會議一直默不作聲，因爲她想等到掌握更多信息之後再直抒胸臆。這種狀況已經持續了兩個月。我認爲她過於謹慎，謙虛過度。她畢竟在另一家大公司工作過多年，擁有豐富的相關經驗。我說，提醒他們注意這一點，伺機插話。最後，她做到了。

Then, once women open up, they can be too wordy with too many qualifiers. "I think. I know there are a lot of people who have opinions more valuable than mine." Get out in the traffic and take the credit. Or in the conclusion of the Confidence Code: Take more risks and care less about pleasing and perfection
另一個問題是，一旦女性終於開口發言，她們就有可能絮絮叨叨地說太多的客套話——“我覺得，我知道在座諸位的意見比我的看法更有價值。”開門見山，當仁不讓。或者遵循《信心代碼》的結論：敢於冒更多的風險，不要那麼在意你的看法能不能討好別人，是否盡善盡美。

But before women get too down about an uphill battle, I suggest we think again about the aforementioned challenges:
但在這場艱苦的戰鬥有可能讓女性高管失望連連之前，我建議我們重新思考上述挑戰：

Pleasers
取悅者

Perfectionists
完美主義者

Broad spectrum notice
廣譜警覺

Cautious/risk averse
小心謹慎，厭惡風險

Modest
謙虛

Now, all of these tendencies can also be huge positives in short supply in corporate America. In The Female Vision, authors say more performance evaluations need to embrace and reward these traditional female strengths. So the bottom line, there are two factors to solve the crisis in confidence: Women need to lean in, and businesses need to look into revising performance criteria that value qualities naturally possessed by half the world -- qualities the world needs now.
現在，所有這些傾向也有可能成爲美國企業非常欠缺、但極具積極意義的品質。《女性視野》的作者認爲，績效評估需要更多地接受並獎勵這些傳統的女性優點。總結一下，解決女性自信危機需要着眼於兩個方面：女性需要向前一步(lean in)，企業需要重新修訂績效評估標準，需要更加珍視“半邊天”與生俱來的品質。要知道，這些品質恰恰是這個世界所亟需的東西。