經典的簡單英語小笑話

有時候看一些英語笑話也可以令自己笑一笑哦。今天小編就給大家分享一下英語的笑話，歡迎大家借鑑

　　視力訓練

the squad were having "visual training". one smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. the party was so faraway that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatingly the recruit replied：

班裏正在進行“視力訓練”。一個聰明伶俐的新兵被班長叫出來數遠處曠野上採掘隊的人數。採掘隊在很遠的地方，那些人看起來只是一些小點兒。但是這個新兵毫不猶豫地回答。

"sixteen men and a sergeant , sir."

“十六個兵外加一箇中士，長官。”

"right, but how do you know there's a sergeant there?"

“正確，可是你怎麼知道那兒有一箇中士?”

"he's not doing any digging, sir."

“他不幹活，長官。”

　　絕妙的技巧

after friends of mine landed at busy newwark airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. in desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.

我的朋友們在繁忙的紐瓦克機場着陸後，他們卻不能招呼到腳伕來幫他們搬行李。無奈，丈夫拿出一張五美元的鈔票在人羣上面搖晃。

in an instant, a skycap was at his side. sir, observed the porter, you certainly have excellent communication skills.

一個帶寬邊帽的人馬上來到他身邊。“先生，”腳伕說道，“很明顯你有絕妙的交際技巧。”

　　他什麼都沒聽到

Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" I asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."

我在郵局上班，對於顧客們的各種情緒早已習以爲常了。所以，有一天當一個生氣的顧客氣沖沖地來到我的工作臺時，我還是非常平靜地問她，“有什麼問題嗎?”“我早上上街了，”女顧客說，“我回到家的時候，我看到一個卡片，卡片說郵遞員要給我們家送包裹，但沒人在家。可是我的丈夫整個早上都在家啊。他說他什麼都沒聽到”。在表示了歉意之後，我把包裹給了她。“噢，太好了”，那位女顧客喜形於色。“我們等這東西都等多少年了!”“是什麼好東西?”我問。“我丈夫的新助聽器”。