《最後一戰》第69期:更高更深路(2)

"So I went over much grass and many flowers and among all kinds of wholesome and delectable trees till lo! in a narrow place between two rocks there came to meet me a great Lion. The speed of him was like the ostrich, and his size was an elephant's; his hair was like pure gold and the brightness of his eyes like gold that is liquid in the furnace. He was more terrible than the Flaming Mountain of Lagour, and in beauty he surpassed all that is in the world even as the rose in bloom surpasses the dust of the desert. Then I fell at his feet and thought, Surely this is the hour of death, for the Lion (who is worthy of all honour) will know that I have served Tash all my days and not him. Nevertheless, it is better to see the Lion and die than to be Tisroc of the world and live and not to have seen him. But the Glorious One bent down his golden head and touched my forehead with his tongue and said, Son, thou art welcome. But I said, Alas, Lord, I am no son of thine but the servant of Tash. He answered, Child, all the service thou hast done to Tash, I account as service done to me. Then by reasons of my great desire for wisdom and understanding, I overcame my fear and questioned the Glorious One and said, Lord, is it then true, as the Ape said, that thou and Tash are one? The Lion growled so that the earth shook (but his wrath was not against me) and said, It is false. Not because he and I are one, but because we are opposites, I take to me the services which thou hast done to him. For I and he are of such different kinds that no service which is vile can be done to me, and none which is not vile can be done to him. Therefore if any man swear by Tash and keep his oath for the oath's sake, it is by me that he has truly sworn, though he know it not, and it is I who reward him. And if any man do a cruelty in my name, then, though he says the name Aslan, it is Tash whom he serves and by Tash his deed is accepted. Dost thou understand, Child? I said, Lord, thou knowest how much I understand. But I said also (for the truth constrained me), Yet I have been seeking Tash all my days. Beloved, said the Glorious One, unless thy desire had been for me thou wouldst not have sought so long and so truly. For all find what they truly seek.

"Then he breathed upon me and took away the trembling from my limbs and caused me to stand upon my feet. And after that, he said not much, but that we should meet again, and I must go further up and further in. Then he turned him about in a storm and flurry of gold and was gone suddenly.

"And since then, O Kings and Ladies, I have been wandering to find him and my happiness is so great that it even weakens me like a wound. And this is the marvel of marvels, that he called me Beloved, me who am but as a dog -"

"Eh? What's that?" said one of the Dogs.

"Sir," said Emeth. "It is but a fashion of speech which we have in Calormen."

"Well, I can't say it's one I like very much," said the Dog.

"He doesn't mean any harm," said an older Dog. "After all, we call our puppies Boys when they don't behave properly."

"So we do," said the first Dog. "Or girls."

"S-s-sh!" said the Old Dog. "That's not a nice word to use. Remember where you are."

所以我走過許多草地許多繁花，在各種各樣的茁壯宜人的樹木之間盤桓，瞧！終於在兩塊大石頭之間的狹路上碰到了一頭大得了不得的獅子，他行動迅速如鴕鳥，軀體龐大如大象，毛髮如足赤黃金，眼睛明亮如熔爐中的黃金熔液。他比拉戈爾的火焰山更加可怕，可又美麗得超過世界上一切東西，甚至像盛開的玫瑰之超過沙漠中的塵土一般。我倒在他的腳邊，心中想道，毫無疑問，我喪命的時刻到了，因爲這獅子（值得尊敬的神）會知道的：我以往的日子裏一直信奉效勞的是塔什而不是他。然而，看到阿斯蘭而死去，也比做世界上的‘蒂斯羅克’，活着卻沒見過阿斯蘭爲好。但，這光榮的獅子俯下他金色的腦袋，用舌頭舔舔我的前額，說道：兒子，你是受歡迎的。但我說：咳，獅王，我不是你的兒子，而是塔什的僕人。他答道，孩子啊，你對塔什所做的奉獻、效勞，我都看做是對我的奉獻、效勞。接着，由於我渴望求得智慧和穎悟，我克服了我的恐懼，向光榮的獅王求教，我說，獅王啊，如此說來，無尾猿所說的你和塔什是二位一體，難道是正確的嗎？獅子大聲咆哮，大地爲之震動（但他的憤怒不是衝着我來的），他說道：這是錯誤的。並不由於他和我是二位一體，而是因爲我們是截然相反的，我把你對他所做的奉獻和效勞拿過來，因爲我和他性質根本不同：凡是卑鄙無恥的效勞，一個也沒法兒奉獻給我；凡是能奉獻給塔什的效勞，沒有一個不是卑鄙無恥的。因此，如果有什麼人以塔什的名義起誓，爲起誓而信守誓言，他其實是對我起誓，儘管他自己不知道，而酬謝他的，也是我。如果有什麼人，以我的名義，做了一件殘酷的事情，那麼，儘管他嘴上講的是阿斯蘭，其實他效勞的是塔什，正是塔什接受了他的奉獻。孩子，你明白了嗎？我說，獅王啊，你知道我明白了。但我也說（因爲真理迫使我說出來），我以往的日子裏一直在尋找塔什。光榮的獅王答道：親愛的，除非你的願望是要找我，你是不會尋找得那麼真心實意、那麼長久的。因爲所有的人都能找到他們真心尋找的東西。

“於是他把氣息呼在我身上，去掉了我四肢的顫抖，使我站穩腳步。這之後，他說得就不多了，只說我們會再相見的，我必須朝更高更深處走去。接着，他在一陣金黃的風暴中轉了個向，突然跑掉了。"

“國王和女士們啊，從此以後，我一直在東奔西跑尋找他，我的幸福是那麼了不得。甚至像傷疼似的使我身體軟弱無力。這真是奇蹟中的奇蹟，他競稱我爲‘親愛的’，而我呢，不過是像一條狗——”

“哎？那是什麼話？”有一條狗兒說道。

“先生，”伊梅思道，“這不過是我們卡樂門人流行的一種修辭方式。”

“得了，我沒法兒說我十分喜歡這種修辭方式。”那狗兒說。

“他並沒有什麼惡意，”一條年紀較大的狗說道，“當我們的小犬行爲不大妥當的時候，我們畢竟是管他們叫乖兒子的。”

“我們就是這樣叫的，”第一條狗兒說道，“或者是，叫她們乖女兒。”

“嘻，嘻！”年紀大的狗兒說，“那可不是個好詞兒。你不論到哪兒都要記住。”