《最後一戰》第39期:馬廄山的集會(4)
"But I mean, what will happen in our own world? Shall we wake up and find ourselves back in that train? Or shall we just vanish and never be heard of any more? Or shall we be dead in England?"
"Gosh. I never thought of that."
"It'll be rum for Peter and the others if they saw me waving out of the window and then when the train comes in we're nowhere to be found! Or if they found two - I mean, if we're dead over there in England."
"Ugh!" said Jill. "What a horrid idea."
"It wouldn't be horrid for us," said Eustace. "We shouldn't be there."
"I almost wish - no I don't, though," said Jill.
"What were you going to say?"
"I was going to say I wished we'd never come. But I don't, I don't, I don't. Even if we are killed. I'd rather be killed fighting for Narnia than grow old and stupid at home and perhaps go about in a bath-chair and then die in the end just the same."
"Or be smashed up by British Railways!"
"Why d'you say that?"
"Well when that awful jerk came - the one that seemed to throw us into Narnia - I thought it was the beginning of a railway accident. So I was jolly glad to find ourselves here instead."
While Jill and Eustace were talking about this, the others were discussing their plans and becoming less miserable. That was because they were now thinking of what was to be done this very night and the thought of what had happened to Narnia - the thought that all her glories and joys were over - was pushed away into the back part of their minds. The moment they stopped talking it would come out and make them wretched again: but they kept on talking. Poggin was really quite cheerful about the night's work they had to do. He was sure that the Boar and the Bear, and probably all the Dogs would come over to their side at once. And he couldn't believe that all the other Dwarfs would stick to Griffle. And fighting by firelight and in and out among trees would be an advantage to the weaker side. And then, if they could win tonight, need they really throw their lives away by meeting the main Calormene army a few days later?
"但我的意思是在我們自己的世界裏會發生什麼事? 我們會一覺醒來，發覺自己回到那火車裏了?或者我們乾脆消失了，永遠再也聽不到我們的消息了?或者，我們在英國也成了死人了？"
"天哪，我從未想到這些。"
"彼得和其他的人，如果他們看到我從車窗裏向外揮手，然後火車進站時卻哪兒也找不到我們，對他們說來，豈不是咄咄怪事!或者，如果他們找到兩具——我的意思是說，如果我們在英國那邊成了死人。"
"呀！"吉爾說，"多可怕的胡思亂想。"
"對我們說來，不會可怕的，"尤斯塔斯說，"我們不該在那邊的。"
"我幾乎但願——不，儘管如此，我不說。"吉爾說。
"你要說的是什麼話啊?"
"我正要說，我但願我們從未有過。但，我不說，我不說，我不說。即使我們被殺死了也不說這種話。我倒寧可爲納尼亞戰鬥而犧牲生命，卻不願在家鄉變得衰老愚蠢，也許坐在輪椅裏轉來轉去，然後末末了兒還是照樣死掉。"
"或者被英國火車砸爛了！"
"你爲什麼說這話呢?"
"啊，火車發生可怕的震動時——彷彿把我們扔進納尼亞的那一震——我以爲那是火車失事的開端。所以，竟發現我們到了這兒，我真是歡天喜地。"
吉爾和尤斯塔斯正談起這檔子事時，其他的夥伴正在討論計劃，變得不太痛苦了。因爲他們現在正想的是今夜必須乾的事情——而納尼亞遭到了什麼災難、納尼亞的光榮和歡樂都過去了等等的思想，都被推到頭腦的後半部去了。他們停止談話時，那些思想就會冒出來使他們重新感到痛苦；但他們繼續不斷地談着話。對於夜間他們非幹不可的活兒，波金確實感到十分高興。他深信野豬和熊，可能所有的狗兒，都會立刻站在他們這一邊來的。他也無法相信所有其他的小矮人們都會依附格里夫爾。在火光旁作戰，出沒於樹木之間，對於力量較弱的一方是有利的。而且，如果今夜他們能獲勝，幾天以後，他們果真還需要爲迎戰卡樂門主力部隊而犧牲他們的生命嗎?
