技術怪咖眼裏未來的10個瘋狂場景(上)

Dahir Insaat is a company headquartered in Istanbul, Turkey founded by Dahir Semenov. Their products and service designs include medical equipment, designing futuristic retail outlets and restaurants, designing new homes and cityscapes, creating weapon designs, city planning, inventing new forms of construction material, and designing new safety furniture. To date, Semenov's main achievements are in construction, and apparently that has gone to his head and left him confident enough to pitch some… dubious new inventions and designs.

Dahir Semenov成立的Dahir Insaat設計公司的總部設在土耳其的伊斯坦布爾。他們的產品和設計服務涉及到醫療設備、未來的零售店和餐廳、新型家園和城市景觀、武器研發、城市規劃、新型建築材料和新式安全傢俱。迄今爲止，Semenov的主要成就在於建築方面，而且顯然他已經被衝昏了頭，讓他有足夠的信心去推銷一些可疑的新發明和設計。

Looking over their proposals feels like looking at ludicrous vintage illustrations of what the future would look like during America's technologically giddy 1950s. In that light it's almost endearing to think how optimistic a company would have to be to believe such whimsical innovations would fly. It reflects the progress being made in the developing world. Also, despite how silly their ideas are Dahir Insaat produces well-animated videos from the animation studio Alconost to sell investors on their goods and services. So it's no wonder that many of them have gone viral on Facebook and YouTube.

他們的提案感覺就像是美國1950年代技術熱潮時期可笑的未來式復古插畫。由此來看這是多麼的可愛啊，這是需要多麼樂觀的一個公司才能夠相信這些異想天開的創新會實現。它反映了發展中國家取得的進展。儘管他們的想法是多麼的愚蠢，但是Dahir Insaat 公司將他們的產品和服務在Alconost動畫工作室製作成動畫影片賣給了投資者。所以難怪他們會像病毒一樣出現在臉書和YouTube上。

10. Transformer Mobile Homes

10. 移動式摺疊房屋

You've likely seen prefabricated two-story houses being hauled on truck beds. You've definitely seen trailer homes. Dahir Insaat decided to take this concept in a more science fiction-worthy direction and create demos of homes that can be transported on eighteen wheeler flatbeds and which fold out into relatively high end houses, such as Dutch Colonials.

你可能有看到被卡車拖拽的預製的兩層房屋。你肯定看見過房車。Dahir Insaat 公司決定把這一概念用更加科學的方式呈現，讓我們的房子能夠被十八輪平板車運送，而且它可以摺疊成相對較高的房屋，就像荷蘭式住宅。

Let's set aside how tacky the artificial materials that must go into these houses must be. Let's also set aside that all the hydraulics used to fold and unfold the walls are missing, and how bad the plumbing would be in these buildings unless you uninstalled and reinstalled it every time you moved. The most amusing bit of design is the house that has a single balcony that's not accessible except by ladder.

我們不必顧及人工材料多麼的俗氣，這些房屋必須是能夠入住的。讓我們也拋開所有用於摺疊和展開牆壁的液壓系統，以及你每次搬家時都需要卸載並重新安裝的建築物中糟糕的管道。最有趣的設計是這個房屋有一個除了使用梯子之外無法進入的陽臺。

9. Underground Parcel Delivery

9. 地下運輸系統

Dahir Insaat went completely the other way for mail delivery. Their proposal is a series of underground conveyor belts for new communities. There would also be underground sensors to see if there are any conveyor belt clogs despite the standardized package size and platforms to raise up the parcel. All this to remove the inconvenience (?) of having items delivered to homes by a postal service.

Dahir Insaat 想要使用一種方式來完全的取代郵遞。他們的提議是創建一個擁有一系列地下輸送帶的新社區。地下傳感器能夠感應傳送帶上是否有標準尺寸的包裝，並且平臺可以迅速提起包裹。它能夠消除由郵政服務把物品交付給家庭所帶來的不便。

Never mind the tremendous cost that would come with an underground conveyor system strong enough to carry parcels. Just imagine the maintenance involved with that machinery, and that you would have to make the tunnels large enough for a human to stand in them to fix the machines. At the end of the video, the narrator even says "it sounds implausible today."

不用把地下運輸系統運送包裹所產生的巨大成本放在心上。試想一下機械維修的問題，你必須建造一個足以讓人能夠在裏面站立維修機器的隧道。在視頻的結尾，解說員甚至說“這對如今來講也是難以置信的”。

8. Copter Cruises

8. 乘直升機巡遊

Have you ever thought that you wanted to go for a cruise or ride on a monorail, but you wanted it slower, louder, with a worse view, and be more dangerous? Well the good people at Dahir Insaat have your back. In January 2015, Dahir Insaat released this video of the world's weirdest way to travel to an audience that expanded to millions.

你有沒有想過想要巡航或乘坐單軌。但是你想過沒有，它的速度慢、噪音大、 視野狹窄，也可能更危險？在Dahir Insaat 公司會有那麼好的人支持你。2015年1月，Dahir Insaat公司發佈了關於世界最奇特的旅行方式的視頻，其觀看者達到數百萬。

Whatever your opinion of mass transit by hovercraft, the fact it's tethered to the ground is truly bewildering. It means it has all the drawbacks of traveling like a train, with the added ability to crash, and increased energy consumption. Why tether it, anyway? Does Dahir Insaat think every pilot in the world is so incompetent that without being tied to the ground they'll just get lost or crash? Despite being composed about 60% of rotor blades, Dahir Insaat wants to claim that this isn't just a regular transport vehicle. It's a luxury vehicle that people can have drinks and have idle chit chat in, despite four incredibly loud engines.

你認爲乘坐氣墊船是一種軌道交通，實際上真正令人困惑的是它拴在了地上。這意味着它存在像火車旅行一樣可能會發生事故或加重能源消耗的缺點。爲什麼無論如何都拴住它？Dahir Insaat公司認爲世界上的所有飛行員都很無能，沒有被束縛在地面上的他們只會迷路或突發事故嗎？儘管60%都是旋翼槳葉組成，但Dahir Insaat 公司想要聲明的是這不只是一個普通的交通工具。這是一個豪華交通工具，儘管這架直升機有四個聲音響亮的引擎，但人們可以在上面暢飲和閒聊。

7. Copter Shipments

7. 直升機裝運

Since there are already helicopters powerful enough to haul commercial airliners, Dahir Insaat also decided that an immense, four-bladed helicopter would be great for hauling freight. Unfortunately for them, their method also requires tethering like the previous invention, and this time they wanted the copter to stay over a regular highway where it can be extra deafening for passing traffic and seem extra dangerous.

自從直升機有足夠的能力推動商業航班以來，Dahir Insaat 公司就表明如果有一個巨大的四翼直升機用來運送貨物就好了。不幸的是，他們的想法需要借用以前的發明，這一次他們想要直升機歐留在普通公路上，它的聲音對過往的車輛來說震耳欲聾，看起來特別危險。

This immense hauling operation involves not only the immense copter to carry the freight (which doesn't look very heavy, because the color and texture make it look like plastic) but two freight trucks to carry the motors to keep the copter functioning. It requires two so that one can be disconnected while the copter has to fly over a bridge so that one can always be attached as the three vehicles deal with an overpass. Why the copter is supposed to be fit for hauling freight when it apparently can't carry its own power generators when doing so is a mystery.

這一巨大的運輸工作不僅涉及巨大的直升機運載貨物（看上去不是很重，它的顏色和紋理使它看起來像是塑料），而且兩輛貨運卡車也攜帶着電動機，以保持直升機的正常運作。它有兩點要求，一是直升飛機飛過橋的時候能夠與兩輛車斷開連接，二是三個交通工具能夠共同應對立交橋。爲什麼這架不能自己攜帶發電機的直升飛機適合運輸貨物，這顯然成了一個謎。

It is true to life that existing quadcopter designs are not very powerful: only in 2016 was one released that was capable of lifting a human being at all. But what's more perplexing is that in their own demo, they show that the system is so slow and inconvenient that the highway apparently needs to be shut down and a police escort provided. Not something that would need to be done if the freight were simply hauled on multiple vehicles after being disassembled.

現實生活中現有的直升飛機設計並不是很強大：僅有2016年公佈的直升飛機可以託舉起一個人。但更令人困惑的是在他們的演示中，展現的直升機非常緩慢和不便，而且高速公路明顯是封閉的，還需要一名警察護送才能完成。如果貨物在拆卸後只是簡單的裝到多輛車輛上，那我們就沒必要這樣做了。

6. Drive-Thru Markets

6. 汽車餐廳

A common mistake aspiring inventors make is to add steps and complications to a process that are counterproductive in the pursuit of innovation. This form of supermarket patented by Dahir Semenov in January 2015 is a textbook example of this, or it would be if it weren't practically a curio. It's a store with drive-thru areas where a customer scrolls through two vertically revolving sets of shelves. This makes the process more uncomfortable, means a lot of the customer's time will be spent scanning through vertical shelves (imagine how much more expensive that would be than aisles of simple shelves to install and operate) and how much more expensive it would be to refrigerate those vertical shelves. Although in the demo video, refrigeration is not addressed at all.

在追求創新的過程中添加步驟和工序複雜化後造成適得其反的結果是有抱負的發明者所犯的一種常見錯誤。Dahir Semenov在2015年一月所創造的這種形式的超市就是一個典型的例子，它實際上並不是一個古董。在商店的汽車餐廳區域，顧客可以滾動兩個垂直旋轉的貨架選購商品。這個使用的過程非常不適，顧客需要花費很多時間來查看立式貨架（這比簡單貨架的通道安裝和操作要成本昂貴），並且這種立式的冷藏貨架的造價更貴。然而在演示視頻中，根本沒有解決製冷問題。

Curiously, while showing the restocking area, the video shows sorted objects in neat rows before they get taken to the individual rotating shelves. But then it shows them being roughly dropped onto a conveyor belt where they get mixed together, leaving the employees to sort them again before placing them on the shelves. By this point, though, in a way it feels appropriate.

令人奇怪的是，展示補充存貨地方的時候，視頻顯示物品在被放到獨立旋轉貨架之前，對其進行了整齊的排序。另一方面也表明了物品是被混合的扔在傳送帶上的，然後讓員工重新排序之後再放到架子上。儘管這一做法在某程度上感覺比較恰當。