美國加強校園性教育 沉默不代表同意

The classroom of 10th graders had already learned about sexually transmitted diseases and various types of birth control. On this day, the teenagers gathered around tables to discuss another topic: how and why to make sure each step in a sexual encounter is met with consent.

十年級的學生已經知道性傳播疾病和各種避孕措施。這天，青少年們聚在桌邊討論另一個話題：如何以及爲什麼要確保性接觸的每一步都得到對方的同意。

Consent from the person you are kissing — or more — is not merely silence or a lack of protest, Shafia Zaloom, a health educator at the Urban School of San Francisco, told the students. They listened raptly, but several did not disguise how puzzled they felt.

舊金山城市學校(Urban School of San Francisco)的健康教育教師莎菲亞·扎盧姆(Shafia Zaloom)對學生們說，如果你親吻（或更深層次性接觸）的對象只是沉默或者沒有反抗，那並不代表他們同意。學生們認真地在聽，但是有幾個人並沒有掩飾他們感到多麼迷惑。

“What does that mean — you have to say ‘yes’ every 10 minutes?” asked Aidan Ryan, 16, who sat near the front of the room.

“那是什麼意思？必須每十分鐘說一遍‘好的’？”坐在教室前部的16歲的艾丹·賴恩(Aidan Ryan)說。

“Pretty much,” Ms. Zaloom answered. “It’s not a timing thing, but whoever initiates things to another level has to ask.”

“差不多是這樣，”扎盧姆回答說，“這不是時間間隔的問題，而是不管哪一方提出進入下一步，都應該問一下。”

The “no means no” mantra of a generation ago is being eclipsed by “yes means yes” as more young people all over the country are told that they must have explicit permission from the object of their desire before they engage in any touching, kissing or other sexual activity. With Gov. Jerry Brown’s signature on a bill this month, California became the first state to require that all high school health education classes give lessons on affirmative consent, which includes explaining that someone who is drunk or asleep cannot grant consent.

二三十年前的“不行就是不行”咒語正被“行就是行”所代替，美國各地的更多年輕人被告知，在進行撫摸和親吻等性活動之前，必須獲得心儀對象的明確同意。本月，加利福尼亞州州長傑裏·布朗(Jerry Brown)簽署了一項法案，要求所有高中健康教育課提供關於正面同意的內容，比如，告訴學生們，醉酒和熟睡的人不具備表示同意的能力。加州是第一個通過類似法案的州。

Last year, California led the way in requiring colleges to use affirmative consent as the standard in campus disciplinary decisions, defining how and when people agree to have sex. More than a dozen legislatures in other states, including Maryland, Michigan and Utah, are considering similar legislation for colleges. One goal is to improve the way colleges and universities deal with accusations of rape and sexual assault and another is to reduce the number of young people who feel pressured into unwanted sexual conduct.

去年，加利福尼亞州率先要求大學把正面同意作爲校園懲戒決定的標準，用它來界定人們如何以及何時同意進行性行爲。馬里蘭、密歇根和猶他等州的十多個立法機構正在考慮爲大學設立類似的法律。這樣做一是爲了改善大學處理強姦和性騷擾指控的方式，二是爲了減少年輕人迫於壓力而不太情願地進行性行爲的情況。

Critics say the lawmakers and advocates of affirmative consent are trying to draw a sharp line in what is essentially a gray zone, particularly for children and young adults who are grappling with their first feelings of romantic attraction. In he-said, she-said sexual assault cases, critics of affirmative consent say the policy puts an unfair burden of proof on the accused.

評論家們說，立法者和正面同意的支持者正努力讓這個灰色地帶變得更明朗，特別是爲了那些情竇初開的兒童和年輕人。正面同意的批評者們說，在各執一詞的性騷擾案件中，這種政策讓被告承擔了不公平的舉證責任。

“There’s really no clear standard yet — what we have is a lot of ambiguity on how these standards really work in the court of law,” said John F. Banzhaf III, a professor at George Washington University Law School. “The standard is not logical — nobody really works that way. The problem with teaching this to high school students is that you are only going to sow more confusion. They are getting mixed messages depending where they go afterward.”

“真的沒有明確的標準，這些標準在法庭上如何應用存在很大的模糊性，”喬治·華盛頓大學法學院(George Washington University Law School)教授約翰·F·班茨哈夫三世(John F. Banzhaf III)說，“這種標準不合常情——在現實生活中，沒人這麼做。這樣教高中生，只會讓他們更迷惑。他們得到的信息相互矛盾，不知道該何去何從。”

But Ms. Zaloom, who has taught high school students about sex for two decades, said she was grateful for the new standard, even as she acknowledged the students’ unease.

扎盧姆教授高中性教育課20年了。她倒是很贊成這個新標準，儘管她也承認，這對學生們來說並不容易。

“What’s really important to know is that sex is not always super smooth,” she told her 10th graders. “It can be awkward, and that’s actually normal and shows things are O.K.”

“重要的是，你要知道，性愛並不總是十分順利，”她對十年級的學生們說，“它可能會尷尬，這實際上是正常的，沒什麼問題。”

The students did not seem convinced. They sat in groups to brainstorm ways to ask for affirmative consent. They crossed off a list of options: “Can I touch you there?” Too clinical. “Do you want to do this?” Too tentative. “Do you like that?” Not direct enough.

學生們似乎並不信服。他們分成小組，討論獲得正面同意的方法。他們排除了很多選擇，比如，“我可以摸你那兒嗎？”太像醫生看病了。“你想做這個嗎？”太模糊了。“你喜歡那樣嗎？”不夠直接。

“They’re all really awkward and bizarre,” one girl said.

“真的都很彆扭，很奇怪，”一個女孩說。

“Did you come up with any on your own?” Ms. Zaloom asked.

“你們自己有沒有想到什麼說法？”扎盧姆問道。

One boy offered up two words: “You good?”

一個男孩提出了一個非常簡單的問法：“這樣好嗎？”

That drew nearly unanimous nods of approval.

這種問法幾乎得到了一致贊同。

Under the new law, high school students in California must be educated about the concept of affirmative consent — but they are not actually being held to that standard. So a high school student on trial on rape charges would not have to prove that he or she obtained oral assent from the accuser. That was the case with a senior at the elite St. Paul’s School in New Hampshire this year who was accused of raping a freshman. The senior was acquitted of aggravated sexual assault but found guilty of statutory rape — sex with a minor.

按照新法律，加州高中生必須接受關於正面同意的教導，但是實際上他們並不受這條標準約束。遭到強姦指控的高中生不需要證明自己得到了原告的口頭同意。今年，新罕布什爾州精英聖保羅學校(St. Paul’s School)一名即將畢業的學生被指控強姦一名高一學生。這名學生被判嚴重性騷擾罪名不成立，但是由於他和未成年人發生了性關係，所以構成了強姦罪。

As for college students, the law passed last year in California does not change the way sexual assault cases are prosecuted in criminal courts, only in the way they are handled by colleges, which are permitted to use affirmative consent as a standard.

對大學生來說，去年加州通過的法律並沒有改變性騷擾案件在刑事法庭上的起訴方式，只是改變了此類案件在大學裏的處理方式，大學獲准使用正面同意作爲評判標準。

Last year, Corey Mock, a student at the University of Tennessee-Chattanooga, was expelled after officials there found him guilty of sexual misconduct because he could not prove he had obtained verbal consent from a woman who accused him of sexual assault. But a Davidson County Chancery Court judge ruled in August that the university had “improperly shifted the burden of proof and imposed an untenable standard upon Mr. Mock to disprove the accusation.” The judge called the university’s ruling “arbitrary and capricious.”

去年，田納西大學查塔努加校區(University of Tennessee-Chattanooga)的學生科裏·莫克(Corey Mock)被一個女人指控性騷擾，他無法證明自己獲得了原告的口頭同意，所以校方判定他進行不當性行爲，將他開除。但是，今年8月，戴維森縣衡平法院(Davidson County Chancery Court)的一名法官判定該大學“爲了反駁指控，不恰當地轉移舉證責任並將不合理的標準強加到莫克身上”，稱該大學的裁決“武斷隨意”。

In another case, a former student at Clark University in Worcester, Mass., who was evicted from his dormitory room after a student accused him of rape, filed a lawsuit in federal court in August against the university and several administrators. The former student, identified in court records as John Doe, argued that he had been denied the rights promised in the student handbook and that the adjudicators of his case had ignored text messages that supported his view of the encounter.

在另一起案件中，一名曾在馬薩諸塞州伍斯特克拉克大學(Clark University)就讀的學生被另一名學生指控強姦，被逐出宿舍。今年8月，這名學生向聯邦法院提起訴訟，控告這所大學和幾名主管。這名學生在法庭文件中被稱爲約翰·多伊(John Doe)。他說，他被剝奪了學生手冊中承諾的權利，此案的裁決者無視支持他說法的短信。

Kevin de León, the California State Senate speaker pro tempore and lead sponsor of the high school legislation, said the new law was as much about changing the culture as it was about changing the law.

加州參議院臨時議長、這項法案的主要倡議者凱文·德利昂(Kevin de León)說，這項新法案不只是爲了改變法律，也是爲了改變文化。

“Sexual violence has always thrived in the gray areas of the law,” Mr. de León said. “What we want to create is a standard of behavior, a paradigm shift as much as a legal shift. We’re no longer talking about the old paradigm of the victim being blamed for their own behavior.”

“性暴力一直在法律的灰色地帶滋生，”德利昂說，“我們想創立一個行爲標準，它不僅是法律上的改變，而且是行爲規範的改變。我們想要摒棄受害者自己的行爲遭到指責的舊模式。”

But among teenagers, who are only beginning to experiment with their sexuality and have hazy ideas of their own boundaries, the talk tends to be about “hooking up” and what the new rules are. “Kids are still establishing patterns of behavior, and they have a lot of specific concrete questions,” said Ms. Zaloom, who has written a curriculum for affirmative consent programs that is being used throughout the country.

但是青少年剛開始嘗試性愛，對界線不甚瞭解，所以這些討論更像是關於“交朋友”和新規則。“孩子們仍在嘗試建立行爲模式，他們有很多具體的問題，”扎盧姆說。她寫了一本關於正面同意的教材，正在全美國使用。

Students will ask, “Can I have sex when we are both drunk?” she said. “I get this one a lot: If I hook up with a girl and the next day she decides she didn’t want to do it, then what do I do?”

她說，學生們會問：“我們都喝醉了，可以做愛嗎？”她還說，“他們經常問我這個問題：如果我和一個姑娘好上了，但是第二天她又不想跟我好了，那我該怎麼辦？”

Ms. Zaloom will typically use such questions as a way to begin talking about the benefits of sexual partners’ knowing each other. But sometimes, there are no straightforward answers, she said. “We’re trying to show them very explicitly that sex has to include a dialogue,” she added, “that they have to talk about it each step of the way.”

扎盧姆通常會以這樣的問題開頭，談論性夥伴相互瞭解的好處。不過她說，有些問題沒有明確的答案。“我們努力非常明確地告訴他們，性愛必須包含交流，”她補充說，“每一步都要說清楚。”

One 10th-grade girl asked about approaching someone about a casual encounter. “What if it’s just a one-time thing?”

一個十年級女生提到偶然交往的問題。“如果只是一夜情呢？”

“You have to be prepared to say ‘no’ and hear ‘no,’ ” Ms. Zaloom said.

“你必須準備好要拒絕別人或者被別人拒絕，”扎盧姆說。

Another girl chimed in, “If you don’t care about a person too much, you might not be inclined to listen.”

另一個女生插話說，“如果你不是很喜歡一個人，你可能不想傾聽。”

Ms. Zaloom suggested making clear plans with friends ahead of time, like making pacts to leave parties together. And she urged them to have conversations with potential sexual partners “before you get swept up in the moment.”

扎盧姆建議提前跟朋友們計劃好，比如約定一起離開派對。她一再告誡他們“在一時衝動之前”與潛在性伴侶溝通好。

“How do we even start a conversation like that?” one boy wondered.

“那怎麼開始溝通呢？”一個男生問道。

“Practice,” Ms. Zaloom answered.

“練習，”扎盧姆回答道。