凱特王妃懷孕:10個我不想讀到的故事

1. An endless list of things she shouldn't be eating or drinking

It is an axiom of printed media –why couldn't Leveson have tackled this? – that famous or notable people are keener to have healthy children than anybody else. How much Kate Middleton likes salad, I would never speculate.

1．關於她不該吃或喝什麼的無盡的清單

這是印刷媒體的一個自明之理——爲什麼萊韋森還沒有處理這件事?——名貴們比其他任何人都熱衷於擁有健康的孩子。凱特米德爾頓多麼喜歡沙拉，我永遠不會這樣揣測。

2. Anything at all about their sex life

2．關於他們性生活的任何事

3. Speculation about whether it's a boy or a girl

I had a friend who, when asked if it was a boy or a girl, used to say "I hope so", and then make a sarcastic face.

3．猜測那是男孩還是女孩

我有一個朋友當被問及那是個男孩還是女孩時，常說“我希望如此”，然後做出一個諷刺的鬼臉。

4. Suggestions for baby names

The royal family actually invented a crude version of the internet, some centuries ago: the Posh Name Generator. It gave you a list of four names, Elizabeth, Henry, James or Mary, and you chose on the basis of the gender of the child and the names of your existing children. It would have taken off faster if they'd had a larger database and disseminated the technique, but the problem with this family is that they don't share.

4．爲嬰兒名字出謀劃策

皇室家族實際上在幾個世紀前就發明了互聯網上的原始版本：上層貴族名字生成器。它給你一張上面有四個名字的列表，伊麗莎白、亨利、詹姆斯或瑪麗，你根據孩子的性別和你現有孩子的名字來選擇。如果他們有一個更大的數據庫並傳播這種技巧它會擴展得更快，但問題是這個家庭他們不分享。

5. How soon Pippa Middleton will want to get pregnant

5．皮帕米德爾頓想多快地懷孕呢？

6. Anything that mistakes hyperemesis gravidarum for "bad morning sickness"

It is like mistaking pneumonia for "a bad cold".

6．任何把妊娠劇吐誤解爲“糟糕的晨吐”

這就像把肺炎誤以爲“感冒”。

7. How hyperemesis gravidarum is actually quite good for keeping the weight off, if you manage it correctly

7．如果你正確處理這一問題，妊娠劇吐實際上對保持體重如何有用

8. An imaginative reconstruction of how Diana would take the news, were she still alive

She would greet the news just like anybody else who's ever been given this news. The spectrum of response-to-a-first-pregnancy-by-a-happily-married-couple is really very short, ranging from "that's nice" to "that's lovely".

8．關於如果戴安娜還活着她會如何接受這條新聞的一個富有想象力的編造

她會慶祝這個消息就像被告知這個消息的任何其他人那樣。對這對幸福結合的夫妻第一次懷孕的反應期真的很短，從“那不錯”到“那好可愛”。

9. Fashion-related comments wondering "whither the modest frock dress?" one day, and "why can't you be sexy-pregnant, like that nice Megan Fox?" the next

If fashion can't agree –– then it should discuss something else.

9．時尚相關的評論疑惑“合適的連衣裙在哪？”有一天，“爲什麼你不能性感懷孕，像漂亮的梅根•福克斯那樣呢？”下一個

如果時尚界不同意-----那麼它就應該談點別的。

10. Any article headlined "Dilatey-Katey"

10．任何一篇標題爲“Dilatey-Katey”文章