時尚雙語:生孩子，該早還是該晚？

Do You Wish You Had Started a Family Sooner?

Recently I wrote about parental 'do-overs'—what you would do differently with another child. Several readers wrote that one thing they would change is waiting so long to have children.

最近我寫了一篇關於“重做父母”的文章，就是如果再要一個孩子，你所做的事情會有什麼不同。有幾個讀者寫道，他們想改變的是：別等那麼晚纔要孩子。

As one commenter wrote: 'The only regret I have is not starting sooner to have kids because I had no idea I'd love being a mom as much as I do and I would have definitely had a third if not a fourth. [My husband] and I were so focused on establishing ourselves career-wise and waited, as it turns out, a little too long.' Another wrote: 'I too wish I had started sooner. Being in my mid-thirties and having my first makes me wish [my husband] and I hadn't dragged our feet so long to start our family. I'm loving being a mommy!'

有個讀者是這麼寫的：“唯一讓我感到遺憾的是，我沒有早點要孩子，因爲當時不知道當自己這麼喜愛作母親的感覺。我肯定會繼續生，就算不生四個，至少也要生三個。我和丈夫那時候太重視事業，結果等了很長時間才決定要孩子。”還有一個寫道：“我也希望能早點要孩子，我生第一個孩子的時候已經三十多歲了，我和丈夫都覺得當初不該猶豫那麼久才做出決定，我太愛當媽媽的感覺了！”

These comments hit close to home. Like a number of readers, my husband and I waited a while before we chose to have kids in our mid-30s. Now that I have my first son I love being a mom so much that I occasionally regret not starting my family a little sooner. I'd like to have three kids (I grew up in a family of three children and loved it) but because I got a 'later' start, that might not be so feasible as my body gets older and my fertility and energy-level wane.

對此我深有同感。和許多讀者一樣，我和丈夫等到三十多歲才決定要孩子。生下第一個小男孩後，我覺得當媽媽的感覺好極了，所以有時候會後悔沒有早點生孩子。我想要三個孩子（我父母就生了三個，我很喜歡在那樣的環境里長大），但由於我起步晚了，生三個可能不太現實，因爲身體會變老，生育能力和精力會跟不上。

On the plus side, my husband and I who will be married five years this week but who have been together for eight years waited until we were sure that we really wanted and were ready to have children; we were rather indifferent about having children early on in our relationship, so we wanted to make sure that we really wanted to be parents. My husband is a child of divorce, so we also wanted to be confident that our marriage was on sound footing before we brought a child into the world. We also wanted to be reasonably settled financially and professionally.

不過，晚要孩子也有好處，本週將迎來我和丈夫的結婚五週年紀念日，但我倆在一起已經八年了。我們等了很長時間，充份確認是否真的要孩子，並做好了各種準備。早些時候，我們覺得要不要孩子無所謂，因此需要時間確認自己真的想當父母。我丈夫來自一個單親家庭，所以我們想在賦予一個孩子生命前，想確信我們的婚姻基礎很牢固。此外，我們也想先在經濟上和事業上站穩腳跟。

What's more, being older parents and having a bunch of nephews and a niece, as well as a ton of friends who already had young children, meant that we had a lot of models for parenthood and we didn't feel overwhelmed or particularly anxious about being parents once our son was born. And as a couple who loves to travel, we were able to take some incredible trips—to South Africa, Turkey, Costa Rica, Italy, Mexico—that would be more challenging and expensive once kids were here.

還有一個好處是，作爲一對晚育父母，我們周圍已經有一大堆親戚朋友生了孩子，可以向他們學習很多知識，不至於在自己爲人父母時感到手足無措或者焦慮不安。作爲一對喜歡到處玩的夫妻，我們有時間去一些很棒的地方旅行，比如南非、土耳其、哥斯達黎加、意大利、墨西哥等；而如果有孩子，出去旅行將顯得既困難，又花錢。

But being older parents has its drawbacks, too. While I had no trouble getting pregnant with my son, I'm well aware that fertility drops precipitously for many women as they hit their late 30s and 40s. It's not just an issue for women; as the Juggle and the the New York Times have reported, dads have biological clocks, too. French researchers reported last year that the chance of a couple's conceiving begins to fall when the man is older than 35 and falls sharply if he is older than 40, according to the Times.

然而，晚生孩子也有缺點。雖然懷第一個孩子沒問題，但我很清楚，很多女人的生育能力到三四十歲時會突然下降。而且，並非只有女人才這樣。本專欄和《紐約時報》(New York Times)都報導過，男人也有類似的生物鐘。《時代雜誌》(Times) 2008年的一篇報導說，法國研究人員發現，男人過35歲後，夫妻之間的懷孕成功率開始下降，到40歲後，成功率會急劇降低。

At the Juggle, we've written before about how women, on average, are now opting to have babies younger; the average age at which women give birth for the first time, 25 years old, posted the first decline since the government began tracking the data in 1968, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. Readers, did any of you wait a while to have children or did you start your families when young? How do you feel about your decision?

在此前的專欄文章中，我們曾經報導過，現在大多數女性都希望早點要孩子。根據美國國家衛生統計中心(National Center for Health Statistics)的數據，女性生頭胎時的平均年齡爲25歲，這是政府自1968年跟蹤這方面數據以來第一次出現年齡下降。各位讀者朋友，你是結婚後等一段時間再要孩子，還是趁着年輕就讓二人世界更進一步？你對自己做出的決定有何感想？