別信規則信自己:10條毀掉你愛情的規則大綱

Every time you go on a date, you're faced with 347 "rules" on how to act, what to say, when to call him, when to kiss him and how to play "the game." We're done with that. Dating rules are dead. The rules say that you should Always do this and Never do that, but our take is this: Never trust a rule that begins with "Never," and always question a rule that begins with "Always."

每次你去約會，對於如何表現、說什麼、何時打電話給他、何時吻他以及如何玩“愛情遊戲”，你要面對347“規則”。我們受夠了那些。約會規則是死的。規則說你總是應該這樣做，永遠別那樣做，但我們的建議是這樣的：永遠不要相信“從不”開頭的規則，總是質疑一下以“總是”開頭的規則。

10 ways traditional rules can ruin a date

10條毀掉約會的傳統規則

make you less authentic.

Rules like "Men Love Bitches" have a sneaky way of making us play a game, put on an act and avoid being our true selves. But if you're dating someone, shouldn't they, well, sort of like your true self?

1.他們讓你沒那麼真實。

就像“男人愛賤人”的規則以一種卑鄙的方式讓我們遊戲其中，裝模作樣，避免真實的自我。但如果你和別人約會，難道他們就一點不你真實的自己嗎？

make you over-think.

Dating should be fun. But how can you relax when you're counting the hours between calls, the days between dates, and whether he's following Rule 1138?

2.他們讓你想的過多。

約會應該是快樂的。但當你在每個電話之間數着幾個小時，每次約會之間數着日子，以及他是否遵循1138號規則，你怎麼能放鬆？

2. They're unrealistic.

Example: We've all heard the rule that you should "never date a co-worker." Only problem? The rule is blind to reality. 38% of working adults will have an office romance. So, instead of saying "Never Do It," it's more helpful to focus on strategies of how to do it well.

3．他們是不現實的。

例如：我們都聽過這樣的規則，你應該“絕不約會同事。”唯一的問題嗎？這條規則無視生活。38%的成年人將有一場辦公室戀情。因此，不是說“絕不這樣做”，注重策略如何做好才更有幫助。

4. They weed out people you might actually like.

Maybe that guy a few cubicles over -- or the one who lives across the country -- isn't a practical person for you to date, but since when is love practical? The Rules make you doubt your instinct to take risks, and it's hard to find love when you're playing it safe.

4．他們淘汰你可能會喜歡的人

也許那個就在幾個隔間不遠處的傢伙，或一個全國出差的人——不是你該約會的現實對象，但什麼時候愛情是實際的了？這些規則使你懷疑你冒險的本能，但你謹慎行事時很難找到真愛。

5. They make you assume "He's just not that into you."

This rule makes you dump a guy at the first sign of trouble. True, certain red flags mean you should bolt, but sometimes, he just really is that busy.

5．他們讓你認爲“他只是沒那麼喜歡你。”

這條規則讓你在一有麻煩跡象的時候甩掉那個傢伙。真的，某些危險信號意味着你應該逃離，但有時，他就真的那麼忙。

6. The traditional rule of "The man should take her to dinner" can backfire.

Dinners can be weird. You have no escape, you fret over what you should order and whether it's in the socially acceptable price range (pasta or steak?), and then, finally: Stomachs. They exist and they have consequences.

6．“男人應該帶她去吃飯”的傳統規則可能適得其反。

晚餐可能是奇怪的。你無法逃脫，你擔心你應該點什麼，是否在社會可接受的價格範圍內(意大利麪還是牛排?)，然後，最終：胃。他們就在那以及他們會有問題。

7. They leech the fun out of dating.

In the sequel to The Rules, authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider even offer a grid -- yes, a grid -- that tells you exactly how much time to wait before texting him back, based on when he texts and how old you are. There's nothing fun about a grid.

7．他們剝奪了約會的樂趣。

在《規則》續集中，作者Ellen Fein和Sherrie Schneider甚至提供了一個網格——是的，網格——告訴你在回他短信之前到底要等多久，基於他什麼時候發短信以及你多大了。關於這個網格沒有什麼有趣。

8. They're prudish.

Okay, let's address our book's title: It's Okay to Sleep with Him on the First Date: and Every Other Rule of Dating, Debunked. No one's saying that you should hook up on the first date. But if you want to? Go for it. (The guy's not going to "lose respect," and if he does, he's a hypocrite.) We've heard countless stories where people have hooked up on the first date and then eventually gotten married.

8。他們是假正經。

好吧，讓我們重申我們書的標題：《第一次約會和他睡覺沒事：揭祕約會的其他規則》。沒有人說在第一次約會時你應該上鉤。但是如果你想？去吧。(這傢伙不會“失去尊重”，如果他這樣做，他是一個僞君子。)人們第一次約會就上鉤，然後最終結婚這樣的故事我們已經聽過無數。

9. They're sexist.

The rules spawn from an era when the woman's only job was to make sure the meatloaf was ready by 7 p.m., when we didn't have to worry about nonsense like "equal rights," when you could puff cigarettes when you're pregnant and when we had to follow rules like "Find a man who makes more money than you." Ugh.

9．他們是性別歧視。

女人唯一的工作就是確保烘肉卷7點前準備好的時代這些規則就產生了。當我們不用擔心“平等權利”這樣的胡說八道，當你懷孕了可以吸菸，當我們不得不遵循“找一個比你賺錢多的人”的規則時。呃。

10. They spread fear.

Most traditional rules are fear-based. You'll screw it up if you kiss him too soon! He won't like you if you pursue! Our take is a little more straightforward: Don't trust The Rules, trust yourself.

10．他們傳播恐懼。

大多數傳統規則是基於恐懼。如果你吻他太早你會把約會搞砸！如果你主動追求他不會喜歡你！我們的建議是一個更直接一點：別相信規則，相信你自己。