瑪麗亞·凱莉單身 上網尋男友
Hooray, Mariah Carey is single and seeking a man online
萬歲,瑪麗亞·凱莉單身,正在線尋人Historically exciting news for straight men, gay men willing to act straight and straight women now prompted to spend whatever it takes on a man costume (me): Mariah Carey is on .
對直男來說，這真是歷史上激動人心的好消息,男同性戀者現在願意表現坦率，而女異性戀者花盡一切努力在Mariah Carey is on .網站上選擇男人。
Mariah, as any regular reader of this column will know, is a Proper Celebrity. If you’re unsure how you like to take your celebrities, complete this simple test.
任何本專欄的忠實讀者都知道,瑪麗亞是一個合格的名人。如果你不確定你是否喜歡名人,那麼完成這個簡單的測試。
Do you want them to bang on about stuff such as how dreadful the NSA spy programme is, like CBE-in-waiting Benedict Cumberbatch? Or do you want them to have legendary rider demands such as “ a basket of puppies and kittens to pet”; a comically grotesque retinue of personal staff, including someone whose job is best summarised as Chief Positioner of the Royal Bendy Drink Straw; and a repository of anecdotes about having once been literally kept in a gilded cage or something? “I hate the bus!” Mariah once hooted, in appalled reply to a question about how in touch with reality she was. “ I’ ve already been on the bus - I don not need to get back on the bus!”
你喜歡和他們沒完沒了地談論（那些）話題比如美國國家安全局間諜計劃是多麼可怕,或者如何崇拜準大英帝國司令本尼迪克特·康伯巴奇嗎?還是你希望他們遵從傳說中的騎士的要求，如“輕撫籃子裏的小貓、小狗寵物”；抑或是（討論）一個滑稽怪誕的隨從員工，他的主要工作便是（製作）皇家彎曲的吸管定位器；或是與倉庫有關的軼事曾經隨便放過一個鍍金的籠子或什麼的？“我討厭巴士!”瑪麗亞在一次回覆聯繫方式時高喊道。“我已經在公共汽車上,我也不需要回到車上!”If you answered (b), stay with this.
如果你回答了(b),留在這。
The background to it all is that Mariah is single once more. I know, I know - and less than two years after she renewed her marriage vows to then-husband Nick Cannon in a low-key ceremony, which saw her take over the whole of Disneyland for the evening. She proceeded to the re-plighting of troths - which took place in front of Cinderella’s castle - in a glittering pumpkin-style coach, while live-tweeting the entire event with the hashtag #DonthatemebecauseImadiva.
瑪麗亞的背景簡單。我瞭解到,在她再婚兩年裏,發誓要當時的丈夫尼克·卡農進行低調的婚禮,在婚禮中她接管了一晚上的迪斯尼樂園。她再次在灰姑娘城堡前發誓————在一個閃閃發光南瓜馬車裏。而用整個事件推特直播並貼予標籤# 因爲我是麥迪娃，所以請這樣對我。（DonthatemebecauseImadiva）譯文屬原創，僅供學習和交流使用，未經允許不得轉載。
