高學歷女性找老公時要遵守的十大古怪標準(下)

't Be Picky

3.不要吹毛求疵

Even as little as 100 years ago women did not have much choice about the men they would marry. These days' generation Y and millennial women are extremely picky. They want a man who is their intellectual equal, educated to a similar level, with the same earning capacity.

甚至100年前，女人並沒有很多的機會選擇自己的結婚對象。目前Y代（25歲以下的）女孩和千禧女孩都極度吹毛求疵。她們想要一個與之智力和教育水平相當、掙錢能力相等的男子。

However, in our current society this causes problems. As seen in point 4 above, the bidder who holds out because they believe they have a strong hand and can hold out for the very best are often outbid.

然而，這些吹毛求疵的行爲在我們現代社會引發了問題。正如上述的四點，那些出價較高（標準比較高）的“投標人”堅持還沒結婚是因爲她們相信自己有強勁的雙手，會堅持找到最好的男人。但是合乎條件的男子少之又少。

Research into why the pool of eligible, college educated men seems to shrink with age has shown that many of the most eligible married at a young age.

研究表明，受過大學教育的男子的上學年齡似乎在小齡化，所以大部分符合條件的男子在很年輕的時候結婚了。

Not always to the most desirable or attractive women but to those who actually decided to marry them.

他們結婚的對象不是那些有魅力、有吸引力的女人，而是那些真的下決心想嫁給他們的女人。

What this tells us is that you should not be so confident that you hold out too long. Is it really important that the man of your dreams is above a certain height? Does he have to have a set minimum qualification?

這就告訴我們不能自信滿滿地堅持太久。你想象中的男人水平高低與否，這真的很重要嗎？他一定要有最低限制條件嗎？

Only you can decide what your minimum standards are but if you are looking for perfection you may find yourself without anyone.

最低標準只能由自己制定，如果希望尋找完美伴侶，你會發現你只能找到你自己。

Outside Your Socio-Economic Class

2.與社會經濟學課堂外的人約會

Despite some regional variation the national trend for gender imbalance in college educated millennials and generation 'y'ers means that some college educated women will never be able to marry a man with the same level of education that they have.

儘管存在一些地區性的差異，但是大學裏，千禧代和Y時代男女不均的趨勢意味着一些受過高等教育的女性可能不會嫁給與自己學歷相當的人。

What can they do about it? Other than remaining single or dating other women the only option available to the 'surplus' is to date outside of their socio-economic book.

那她們怎麼辦呢？與其一直單身或者同其他女性約會，這些“剩鬥士”的唯一選擇就是放下社會經濟學書，與其他人約會。

It stands to reason that if slightly more boy babies are born than girl babies then the boys have to go somewhere. If it is not college where is it? Men have many more job and even career opportunities such as roughnecking or joining the police, fire service or military after leaving high school than are on offer to their female peers.

既然男性的出生率微高與女性，顯然這些男性肯定是去了某些地方。比起同齡女性，男性有更多的工作機會甚至職業生涯的選擇。比如：變成粗人或是加入警隊、消防隊或在高中畢業之後參軍。

It is striking that the gender imbalance amongst high earning non-college graduates is the exact opposite of that amongst college-graduates. There are more men and they are desperate to meet women.

令人吃驚的是，性別失衡情況在非大學畢業的高收入人羣與大學畢業人羣中正好相反。非大學畢業的高收入的男性非常渴望結識女性。

While college educated men will sometimes marry a non-college educated woman it has, historically, been extremely rare for women to 'marry down'.

然而，受過大學教育的男性通常會娶沒有上過大學的女性。縱觀歷史，極少有女性會嫁給比自己學歷低的男性。

This trend is changing, particularly in the African-American community where many more women have a college education than men and it is something that college-educated women who want to marry should think about very carefully.

這樣的趨勢正逐漸改變，尤其是在非洲裔美國人社區，這些地方擁有大學學歷的女性比男性多得多。這些受過高等教育的女性在選擇“下嫁”的時候就更應該考慮清楚了。

A 'mixed-collar' marriage has the potential to provide career oriented women with many benefits, not least a husband with more time to support them in their professional aspirations by taking on more of the share of housework and childcare duties.

一段混合階層婚姻可能會爲事業型女性帶來更多的便利，至少她們的丈夫會花更多的時間去分擔家務和照顧孩子以支持她們的職業抱負。

Ultimatums

1.使用最後通牒

As there is now no social stigma to living together before marriage there is no social pressure on men to settle down.

如今，婚前同居在社會上已經不是什麼可恥的事情了，男性也沒有需要安穩下來的社會壓力。

They can have their cake and eat it, living with a woman who may or may not be their 'forever' partner while still remaining free enough to dump her and go off with a more marriageable prospect should she come along.

他們可以兼得魚與熊掌，與一個不知能否與自己成爲終身伴侶的女性同住，同時又可以自由地選擇是否甩掉她，去與那個更有可能結婚的她遠走天涯。

Anecdotally, most people will know of some women who spent years in a relationship, expecting it to lead to marriage and children, only to be dumped when they hit their mid or late 30s.

說來有趣，很多人都知道有那麼一些女性，她們戀愛多年，本應爲人妻母，可卻在中年時期遭人拋棄。

If you find yourself in a relationship with a man who is just not willing to propose one who tells you he is not sure if he is yet ready, you have two options. You can ride it out and wait for a proposal that may never happen or you can issue an ultimatum.

如果你處於戀愛之中，但男方卻遲遲不提出求婚，或者一直說他不確定自己是不是準備好與你結婚。那麼你有兩個選擇，忽略這件事並等待那個可能永遠不會發生的求婚，或者使出殺手鐗。

Say that unless you get a proposal in the next (x) months you will be leaving the relationship. This may seem drastic but you owe it to yourself to be firm.

告訴他，如果不在接下來的幾個月內提出求婚的話，那麼你就要提出分手。這似乎太過極端，但是爲了使自己受到公平對待，這麼做值了。

If your partner refuses to accept the ultimatum it shows that he was never intending to marry you in the first place, you were, in effect, his placeholder.

如果你的男朋友拒絕接受最後通告，這也就表明他從未將你當做結婚的第一人選。事實上，你就是他的一個備胎而已。

The British have a descriptive name for such men – 'cocklodgers' – you can guess what cock is slang for!

英國人給這樣的男性起了個貼切的名字——“公雞房客”——你可以猜到公雞是一個多麼不堪的俚語！

If your partner truly does love you but has just not felt the urgency to propose your ultimatum will serve to issue a warning, 'get off your butt or you will be dumped' and have to start all over again.

如果你的伴侶真的愛你，但是對你的通牒並不緊張，這將是一個警告，“趕緊離開，不然你就要被甩啦”，到時一切又是從頭再來。

You may love a man very much but if you want to have children be aware that IVF is still not guaranteed and is extremely costly. You may be fertile into your later years but the chances are against you.

可能你深愛着某人，但是如果想要生孩子的話，你得知道試管受精的成功率是不能保障的，並且費用也十分高昂。接下來的幾年你可能會生育孩子，但情況可能對你不利。

If you want children you owe it to yourself to see whether your partner is the one to have them with or get out and find someone new.

如果你想要孩子，你有責任去看看你的伴侶是值得，還是你應該一腳踹掉再找個新的。

If you are an unmarried college educated woman and reading this article, don't feel too bad. There are just not enough college men out there out there.

如果你是一個受過大學教育的未婚女性，讀到這篇文章時請不要覺得難過。因爲真的只是沒有足夠的大學畢業男性爲你選擇。

This has a big impact not only on your chances of marrying but on the behavior men expect of you prior to marriage.

這不僅對你的結婚機會有很大影響，也會影響男性對你婚前行爲的預期。

If you are a woman in your 20s and living in a gender imbalanced society then the chances are that the men your age are interested in 'hooking up' and not dating.

如果你是一名二十來歲女性，生活在性別不均衡的社會，那麼在你這個年紀的男性有可能喜歡“鬼混”而非真正的約會。

This is not a problem, if that is what you want to do; sexual mores have changed and women are as entitled to enjoy hooking up as men, but do not feel pressured into doing something you would not otherwise want to do just to have a 'date'.

如果這是你想要的話，那沒問題。性觀念已經改變，女性也和男性一樣喜歡鬼混，不過不要爲了來場約會而有壓力並去做一些你不想做的事情。

You should also be aware that while you are spending your 20s chasing and competing for men to hook up with for a short while, your time is running out.

你要警醒，當你的青春花費在爲了一時樂子追求男人時，時光一去不復返。

When men of your age look to marry they will have a much larger pool to choose from than you do – you may be looking at men of a similar age to you, they will be looking at women in both their 20s and 30s.

當同齡男性準備結婚時，他們的選擇範圍會比你寬很多。你或許在找同齡的男性，可他們卻能同時選擇二十幾歲和三十幾歲的女性。

Think carefully about the type of man you want to spend time with. There are men out there who may not make the appearance grade (too short, too bald etc) but who are good, kind and would make an excellent husband.

認真想想你到底想要和什麼樣的人度過餘生。有那麼些男性，他們可能外表不是很好（太矮，禿頭等等），但是他們優秀、心地善良並很可能是不錯的丈夫人選。

Men without a college degree are desperate for wives (all the women in their socio-economic group have gone to college and are competing with you for a tiny pool of men).

沒有上過大學的男性極度渴望娶妻（在他們所屬社會經濟圈中的女性都上過大學並正與你競爭一小波男性）。

Don't value yourself so highly that you never engage in the dating scene because you are waiting for your version of Mr Absolutely Right (he might turn out to be a total tool who strings you along with vague mutterings of marriage and then dumps you for a better model).

不要太自我感覺良好，也不要爲了等到你心目中的那個真正的白馬王子而一直不約會（他很可能最終會將你和滿腹牢騷的婚姻連結起來，最後爲了一個更好的對象而將你拋棄。）

Equally be aware of your value enough to tell a man what you expect (I will date you for 6 months but if we are not going to marry after that I have to call it off) rather than just wait around for him to make a decision that impacts your future.

同樣的，請足夠重視你自己的價值，告訴對方你的期待（比如我會和你約會6個月，但是如果之後我們沒有結婚的想法的話，那我就會分手），而不是僅僅是等待對方來做決定，影響自己的未來。