與另一半有這些共同點會讓你們的戀情更牢固
A Vision of the Future
對未來的憧憬"It's vital that a couple shares a basic, overall picture of how they'd like for their lives to unfold financially, spiritually, lifestyle-wise, and with respect to children. When you.have a plan in place, it serves as an irreplaceable 'true north' and helps clarify what each partner should be working towards daily, as well as helping the couple clarify how to make some of the tougher decisions in life," said Shlomo Zalman Bregman, a rabbi and matchmaker in New York City.
"情侶雙方對金錢、精神、生活方式和孩子等方面的基本看法、總願景一致，是非常重要的。當你們有了規劃，那它就是不可代替的'方向'，幫助你們看清每天需要努力的方向、如何在生活中做出一些比較艱難的決定，"紐約市的拉比和媒人Shlomo Zalman Bregman說道。The Ability to Always Be Yourself
能總是做自己
It should be natural to be yourself around your spouse, with all your good and bad qualities. "Whereas many people go through life holding back major pieces of themselves from everyone else, and only sharing what they want seen - when you find your proper partner, they really can 'see' you. This backdrop creates a precious opportunity to have truly honest communication and to share love, fears, and hopes without judgment," Bregman said.
在另一半身邊做真實的自己，呈現自己的所有品質，不論好壞。"雖然在生活中，很多人都沒有表現出真實的自己，只展示他們想被人瞭解的那一部分--但當你找到真命天子/女時，他們卻無法瞭解真實的你。這就創造了一個非常寶貴的機會：坦誠布公的和另一半聊聊吧，不加評判地分享你的愛、恐懼和希望，"Bregman說道。
The Capacity to Admit When You're Wrong
錯的時候，敢於承認Your relationship should be a safe space where you and your partner can admit when you're wrong and seek forgiveness. "The most successful, dynamic couples have no difficulty admitting when they were wrong and fell short of treating their significant other properly. Whereas most of the world and its relationships often boil down to people taking a defensive posture, when you're with your soulmate, you can pursue the truth and admit mistakes freely," Bregman said.
你們的戀情應該是這樣的：錯的一方能夠認錯並尋求寬恕。"最成功、最有活力的情侶在做錯事、未貼心考慮另一半的時候，能敢於認錯。而在這個世界上，大多數戀人都會將錯歸咎於兇人的那一方，當你和靈魂伴侶在一起的時候，你應該追求真理，坦率承認自己的錯誤，"Bregman說道。The Same Sense of Morality
相同的道德觀"Morality and shared ethics are a huge part of a committed relationship, because without it, your admiration and the esteem in which you hold your partner will be diminished," Bregman said. Talking about morality and ethics can be tricky, but it should be done early. "If you discover that your morals don't line up with that of your partner, and it's something you deem to be 'major,' then it may well be advisable to let that relationship go," he added.
"相同的道德觀是戀情的重要組成部分，因爲若道德觀不一致，你對另一半的喜愛和尊重將會減少，"Bregman說道。關於道德觀的談話可能是個非常棘手的問題，但還是儘早聊一聊吧。"如果你發現你和另一半的道德觀不一致，而且是在你覺得很'重要'的問題上觀點不一，那最好還是放棄這段感情，"他補充道。
