如何與人交流：更好的溝通技巧

大家知道如何能更好地更別人溝通嗎,以下有一些小tips給大家.

Step 1: Use open-ended questions

第一：提些開放性的問題 For conversation to flow well, it's important to ask open questions, these often start with ‘how', ‘when', ‘why' etc. An open question is something like: "What sort of things do you do in your spare time?" This really gets the conversation flowing. Try to avoid asking closed questions. These are questions that can be answered with yes or no answer, such as: "Do you like films?" Closed questions tend to kill the conversation.

爲使談話內容充實，提些開放性的問題是很重要的，比如以“如何”，“什麼時候”，“爲什麼”等詞語開頭的句子。以開放性的問題開始聊天，比如：“你平時空餘時間都做些什麼?”這種問題會引出更多話題。切忌提出那些用是或不是就可回答的封閉式的問題，如：“你喜歡看電影麼?”封閉式問題會使雙方陷入沒話說的窘境。

Step 2: Active Listening People speak at 100 to 175 words per minute (WPM), but they can listen intelligently at up to 300 words per minute. Since only a part of our mind is paying attention, it is easy to go into mind drift - thinking about other things while listening to someone. The cure for this is active listening - which involves listening with a purpose. It may be to gain information, obtain directions, understand others, solve problems, share interest, see how another person feels, show support, etc. It's also important to give feedback to show yourself and the other person that you've understood what they've said. Do this by summarising and repeating what you heard.

第二：做個積極的傾聽者 人們每分鐘只能說100到175個字，但是卻可以準確地聽辨出300個字。但因爲在傾聽時大腦中只有一部分在運轉，所以很容易走神—聽對方講話的同時卻想着其他的東西。積極傾聽是解決這種問題的有效方法—有目的的去傾聽。比如爲了聽取信息，得到指令，理解他人，解決問題，分享趣事，感受他人，提供幫助而傾聽。傾聽後的回覆也很重要，這能讓對方知道到你理解了他們所說的話。可以通過總結和重複聽到的話來回復他人。

Step 3: Create a 'cocoon' If you're finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try to imagine a “cocoon” around you and the person you're listening to. Imagine that the cocoon is blocking out all outside distractions, so you can really focus on what they're saying. Try repeating their words mentally as they say it - this will reinforce their message and help you control mind drift.

第三：營造自己的聊天“密室”如果你感到無法集中精神關注他人所說，試着營造一間“小密室”，裏面有你和你聊天的對象。想象着這間密室是與世隔絕的，沒有那些讓你分心的事物，你就可以專心於聊天的內容了。在心裏默唸對方所說的詞語—從而強化信息，避免走神。

Step 4: Engage with the other person When someone is trying to get your attention, or engage you in conversation don't turn your back on them, or answer over your shoulder. Instead, turn and face them, engage with them. Good communication is when you really engage. When you are talking to people observe your body language and your tone of voice. Remember to use open strong gestures, look people in the eye and smile when you talk unless you are complaining about something.

第四：注意社交禮儀，專心與他人交談 當別人想引起你的注意，或有興趣與你長談，不要回避，也不要轉着頭回答。相反的，你應該轉過身去，面對他們進行交談。只有專心於交流，才能更好的溝通理解。講話時注意肢體語言和聲調，以堅定自信的姿態，直視對方，除非是在抱怨投訴，記得要面帶微笑。

Step 5: Assumptions Don't assume you know the other person's thoughts and feelings. Learn to identify when you do this. It normally occurs when the facts aren't present to support your belief, so always check with the other person what they mean when they say something.

第五：不要想當然 不要自以爲了解他人的想法和感受。要學會通過交流去證實。很多事情我們常常找不到足夠的事實去證明自己的猜想，所以要向對方覈實他們所說的話的真實含義。

Step 6: Antagonistic sentences If you need to talk to someone about a difficult topic then avoid using sentences like “You should know me better”, “Why are you trying to upset me?”, “You've never understood me”, “I thought we were going to enjoy ourselves”. These are antagonistic sentences, and are not productive in any way and will just ensure there is a conflict.

第六：避免敵對性語句 如果你需要同對方探討一些敏感問題，切忌使用敵對性語句，比如：“你該更好地瞭解我啊”，“爲什麼要讓我傷心”，“你從不理解我”，“我原以爲我們會開心的”。這些敵對攻擊的語句對談話沒有推進作用，只會引起衝突。