工作中最費勁的談話,論高效溝通的技巧

“我想加薪”

'I want a raise'


Before asking for a raise -- even if you need and deserve it -- it's easy to let self-doubt take over: What if your boss doesn't think you're worth the extra money? What if your boss hasn't had a pay bump for a while, either, and labels you a complainer?

即使確實需要、而且也應該漲工資，要求加薪前人們仍很容易自我質疑：如果老闆認爲不值得給自己加薪怎麼辦？如果老闆有一陣子沒給人加薪了怎麼辦？或者，讓老闆覺得你總愛抱怨又該怎麼辦？

Lobbying for a better salary or perks shouldn't jeopardize your career, though, if you do it the right way -- especially if you're a valued employee, says Joseph Grenny, who wrote the bestselling Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High.

暢銷書《關鍵對話：高效溝通的技巧》（Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High）一書的作者約瑟夫•格雷尼指出，爭取更好的待遇或者津貼不應該威脅到一個人的工作，但前提是你要採用正確的方法——特別是在得到賞識的時候。

The key to getting what you want? Stick to the facts, Grenny advises.

那麼得償所願的關鍵是什麼呢？格雷尼的建議是，忠於事實。

"First, research salary data online to find out what other people get paid for jobs like yours in your geographic area," he says. "Then, be ready to give solid evidence for why your performance merits more money."

他說：“首先，上網研究一下薪酬情況，弄清楚本地區和自己從事類似工作的人拿多少工資。然後，準備有力的證據來說明爲什麼你的工作表現值得加薪。”

Whatever you do, don't say you need more money for personal reasons (no matter how urgent), says Grenny.

格雷尼還建議，不管做什麼，都不要說自己出於個人原因而需要提高工資（無論有多麼緊急）。

To make it easier to sell the idea to higher-ups, "you want your boss to see this as an informed business decision, not a charitable contribution," he says.

他說，爲了讓公司高層更容易接受你的觀點，“你要讓老闆覺得這是他在瞭解情況後做出的商業決策，而不是在搞慈善捐款。”
'My performance review was unfair'

“我的業績考覈不公正”

If your annual review didn't reflect your true wonderfulness, don't stew in silence, says Joseph Grenny, an executive coach at VitalSmarts, a leadership development firm in Provo, Utah.

約瑟夫•格雷尼是一位經理人教練，他所在的領導力開發機構VitalSmarts設在猶他州普羅沃市。他說，如果年終考覈沒有真正體現出你的出色之處，不要保持沉默。

Even the best-intentioned leaders are so overworked in these lean times that your achievements may sometimes slip past them. Or they may blame you for a problem when there are other, fixable reasons why it's occurring.

即使最善意的領導在提交工作報告前也可能因爲過度繁忙而忽略你的工作成績。或者，他們可能因爲某個問題責怪你，但出現這個問題確有理由，而且這個問題可以得到補救。
"Saying nothing may be a bigger risk than speaking up," says Grenny.

格雷尼說：“沉默不語的風險可能比有話直說還大。”

Since a so-so (or worse) appraisal in your HR file could unfairly block you from bigger career opportunities down the road, "you need to calmly set the record straight" about specific comments or complaints you believe are inaccurate, says Grenny.

他指出，如果人事檔案中的考評結果爲一般（或者更差），那就可能不公正地妨礙你在今後的工作中得到更好的機會。因此，“你需要冷靜地說明”，你認爲哪些評價或批評並不公允。

Also ask your boss to go into detail about what he or she needs from you. Try to get insights into how this manager defines a job well done, says Grenny, and be prepared to do more listening than talking.

同時，你要請上司詳細說明他（她）對你有什麼樣的要求。格雷尼說，要設法弄清楚上司如何定義出色地完成工作，還要準備好多聽少說。

Grenny also advises: "Ask for more frequent feedback -- maybe even once a week -- so you can make course corrections if needed, long before your next formal evaluation."

他還建議：“你要請對方更頻繁地提供反饋，甚至可以每週一次。這樣你就可以在需要的時候作出調整，而且這種調整要遠早於你的下次正式考覈。”
'Something shady (or illegal) is going on'

“有人正在做可疑（或者非法）的事”

Let's hope you never work for a Bernie Madoff type. But if you discover bad deeds are happening in your company, what can you do? Say nothing to your boss, and you risk seeming complicit in the wrongdoing. Speak up and you could earn that dreaded label, "not a team player."

但願你永遠不會碰上伯納德•麥道夫這樣的上司。但如果你發現自己的公司裏出現了不端行爲，你能做些什麼呢？對老闆守口如瓶有可能讓你背上和壞人串通一氣的罪名，檢舉揭發則可能讓別人認爲你“不可共事”，這個標籤同樣可怕。

Luckily, you can be a whistleblower without blowing your career, says Grenny. You'll need to be diplomatic, though.

格雷尼說，幸運的是，你可以在不影響自己工作的情況下發出警告，但你需要像外交官那樣行事。

"Start the conversation by sharing your good intentions and stressing that you have the boss's best interest in mind," Grenny suggests. "Explain the negative consequences you think will follow if the behavior continues." After all, bilking customers, deceiving investors, and other dodgy practices have been known to destroy companies, taking thousands of careers straight down the tubes. Remember Enron?

格雷尼建議：“首先你要說明自己是出於善意，同時強調你考慮的是老闆的最佳利益。然後解釋一下，你認爲如果這樣的行爲繼續下去會產生什麼樣的不利影響。”畢竟，人們都知道矇蔽客戶、欺騙投資者以及其他不誠信的行爲能毀掉一家公司，進而造成數千人瞬間失業。大家應該還記得安然（Enron）事件吧？

If your boss pooh-poohs your worries ("This is how we've always done it"), or even retaliates against you (goodbye, raise), take your concerns upstairs.

如果上司對你擔心的問題不屑一顧（“我們一直這麼幹”），甚至對你表示不滿（說聲再見，然後起身離開），那就把你發現的問題報告給更高層的管理者。

"At that point, it's appropriate to approach your boss's boss," Grenny says. "But, so you don't seem to be going behind your boss's back, suggest that the three of you meet together."

格雷尼說：“在這種情況下，找你老闆的老闆是恰當的做法。不過，這會讓你顯得不服從直接上司的指揮，所以建議你們三個人面對面地談一談。”

What if the rot seems to go all the way up the organization chart? In that case, start looking for a new job.

如果問題似乎一直牽連到公司最高層，那該怎麼辦？這種情況下，你最好另謀高就。
'I'm not getting what I need to do the job'

“我沒有得到完成工作所需要的支持”

If you're coping with outdated equipment, vintage software, pointless paperwork, unrealistic deadlines, or a perennial shortage of skilled support staff, it's much harder to work efficiently. And you may blame your boss for being unsupportive or just clueless.

面對過時的設備、陳舊的軟件、缺乏條理的文件和不切實際的截止期限，或者一直缺乏技術熟練的支持性人員，高效地開展工作就會變得難得多。而且你可能會覺得老闆不支持你，或者說完全不瞭解你的工作。

Don't charge into your boss's office when you're completely fed up with the situation, though, says Grenny. Instead, schedule a meeting, and keep in mind that your boss is almost certainly not trying to make you miserable.

但格雷尼認爲，就算已經忍無可忍，也不要貿然闖進老闆的辦公室。相反，要安排一次會面。還要記住的一點是，幾乎可以肯定，老闆本已上並不打算讓你陷入這種糟糕的境地。

"Start the conversation with curiosity rather than anger," Grenny suggests. So the boss isn't tempted to tune you out, avoid accusatory, judgmental, or inflammatory language.

格雷尼建議：“要以疑問的態度開始這場對話，而不是憤怒。”這樣老闆就不至於對你置之不理。還要避免責難，妄下斷言，也不要逞口舌之快。

Instead, calmly describe the gap between the support you need and the support you're getting, Grenny advises.

他說，相反，要冷靜地說明你所需要的支持和你得到的支持之間有什麼樣的差距。

"Explain why you're concerned, with emphasis on your common goals," he says. "Next, invite dialogue. Your boss may see the problem differently. If you're open to others' points of view, they'll be more open to yours."

格雷尼指出：“解釋一下你感到擔心的原因，要把重點放在你們共同的目標上。接下來，主動交流。你的老闆可能從另一個角度來看待這個問題。如果你對別人的觀點持開放態度，他們也會更容易接受你的觀點。”
'Your strategy is ridiculous'

“你的策略很可笑”

Ever think, "If I were in charge around here, we'd go in a whole different direction..."? The safest option, of course, is to keep that opinion entirely to yourself.

你是否有過這樣的想法：“要是由我來負責，我們就會朝着截然不同的方向努力……”當然，最安全的做法是把這種想法完全留在心裏。

But if your corporate culture encourages debate and consensus, respectfully disagreeing can pay off. Just make sure it's clear you have the best intentions for doing so, Grenny says.

但格雷尼指出，如果你的公司文化鼓勵通過辯論達成共識，以尊重的態度提出不同意見會帶來回報。但一定要讓別人明白，你這樣做是出於善意。

"You want to establish up front that, far from trying to undermine your boss, you're offering a different viewpoint that might help," he says.

他說：“要充分表明，你提出的不同觀點可能有用，而絕不是要挖老闆的牆角。

It's not so much what you say as how you say it, Grenny notes. So tread softly and ask lots of questions. Lay out facts supporting your view that a given plan won't work, then keep reassuring your boss that your goal is to help the whole team succeed.

格雷尼認爲，怎麼說比說什麼更重要。所以態度要溫和，還要問許多問題。用事實來說明你爲什麼認爲某項計劃不會奏效，而且要向老闆表明，你的目的是幫助整個團隊取得成功。 他指出，得體地就現狀提出不同意見能體現出你的關切之情。這樣，“你的開誠佈公就可能讓老闆的態度變得更加坦誠。”希望是這樣。