小學生英語爆笑笑話大全

幽默與笑話同是社會交往活動中不可缺少的交際手段,探索幽默與笑話的區別,認爲有意與無意、含蓄與直白、複雜與簡單、創新與故舊是區分幽默與笑話的重要標準。本站小編整理了小學生英語爆笑笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　小學生英語爆笑笑話：我能得到什麼What do I get

Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?

Tommy: Quarters.

Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?

Tommy: Hamburger.

　　小學生英語爆笑笑話：爲什麼鼻青臉腫Black eyes

A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.

The man replied, “On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye.”

The boss asked, “Okay, so where did you get the other shiner?”

“Well,” the man said, “I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.”

　　小學生英語爆笑笑話：New Discovery

A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young

model stepped off the elevator.

Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I shouldhave brought my wife!"

新發現

一個鄉下人第一次到大城市遊逛。他走進一座大樓，看見一個歲數很大的矮胖女人邁進一個小房間。房間的門隨後關上，有幾個燈在閃亮。一會兒，門開了，電梯裏走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。

鄉下人驚奇地眨着眼睛，慢吞吞地說：“我應該把我的老婆帶來!”

　　小學生英語爆笑笑話：The Fox and the Tiger(狐狸和老虎)

An Archer, hunting in the woods, was so successful with his arrows that he killed many of the wild animals. This frightened the rest so much that they ran into the densest part of the bushes to hide. At last the Tiger stood up, and pretending to be very brave, told the other animals not to be afraid anymore, but to rely on his courage, and he would attack the enemy on his own. While he was talking, and lashing his tail and tearing at the ground with his claws to impress the others, an arrow came and pierced his ribs. The Tiger howled with pain.

While he was trying to draw out the arrow with his teeth the Fox went up to him and asked, in surprise, whoever had the strength and courage to wound such a brave and mighty beast as the Tiger?

"Nay," said the Tiger, "I misjudged my enemy. It was that unbeatable man over there!"

MORAL: Knowledge is power.

狐狸和老虎

一個射手正在森林裏打獵。他的箭法好極了，射死了許多野獸。這可大大地嚇壞了餘下的動物，它們都跑到最茂盛的灌木叢中躲藏起來。最後，老虎站了起來，裝着非常勇敢的樣子叫其餘的動物相信它的勇敢，不必再害怕。它將獨個兒向敵人進攻。它一邊說着，一邊甩動着它的尾巴，並用它的爪子刨着地上的泥土，想使別人更信任它。就在這時，一枝箭飛來，刺穿了他的肋骨，老虎頓時痛得吼叫起來。

正當它盡力用牙齒拔出身上的箭時，狐狸走上前來吃驚地問道：“誰能有這樣的力氣和膽量來傷害象老虎這樣勇敢而強有力的野獸呢?”

“不，”老虎說，“我錯誤地判斷了我的敵人，是那邊那個不可戰勝的人打敗了我。”

　　小學生英語爆笑笑話：懂得一門外語的重要性

A cat and her four kittens ran into a large dog. When the kittens cowered, the cat let out a series of loud barks, scaring the dog away.

Turning to her kittens, the cat said, "You see how important it is to know a second language."

一隻大貓帶着四隻小貓，突然路遇一隻大狗，小貓嚇的往後退縮，這時大貓對着狗一陣大吠，把狗嚇跑。

大貓扭頭對小貓說：“看到沒有，知道懂得一門外語的重要性了吧。”

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