小學爆笑英文小笑話大全

笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強,普遍存在於人們的日常生活中。笑話的娛樂作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進身體健康。本站小編分享小學爆笑英文小笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　小學爆笑英文小笑話：Barking Beagles and Blondes

A husband and his blonde wife were in bed asleep. About 2 AM they both awoke to the neighbors dog barking extremely loudly...

After lying there for the next 30 minutes unable to go to sleep, she tells her husband to go do something about the barking dog. He tells her he has tried to tell the dog to be quiet before and the dog always continues to bark!

There's nothing HE can do...

After another 15 minutes of barking, in frustration, the blonde wife retorts,"Well, if you won't do anything, I WILL!"

She jumps out of bed and disappears outside. A few minutes later she is back in bed.

The husband sat up in bed, and still hears the dog barking. He asks, "I thought you said you could fix the barking problem...I still hear him barking!"

She replies, "I DID fix the problem! I tied the dog in OUR yard! LET'S SEE HOW THE NEIGHBORS LIKE THAT!"

　　小學爆笑英文小笑話：A 50th Wedding Anniversary

At Saint Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar. At a session, last week, the Priest asked Luigi, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Luigi replied to the assembled husbands, "Well, I've a-tried to treat-a her nice, spend the money on her, but best is that I took-a her to Italy for the 20th anniversary!" The Priest responded, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary." Luigi proudly replied, "I'm a-gonna go to get her."

　　小學爆笑英文小笑話：A Conversation with Mom

Mother: 'Hello?'

Daughter: 'Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?'

Mother: 'You're going out?'

Daughter: 'Yes.'

Mother: 'With whom?'

Daughter: 'With a friend.'

Mother: 'I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.'

Daughter: 'MOM, I didn't leave him. He left me!'

Mother: 'You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.'

Daughter: 'MA, I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?'

Mother: 'I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.'

Daughter: 'There are lots of things that you did and I don't.'

Mother: 'What are you hinting at?

Daughter: 'Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight..'

Mother: 'You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?'

Daughter: 'MA, its My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!'

Mother: 'So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?'

Daughter: 'MOM, He's not a loser.'

Mother: 'A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and aparasite.'

Daughter: 'MA, I don't want to argue; should I bring over the kids or not?'

Mother: 'Poor children with such a mother.'

Daughter: 'Such a what?'

Mother: 'With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.'

Daughter: 'ENOUGH MA!!!'

Mother: 'Don't scream at me. You probably scream at the loser too!'

Daughter: 'Great MA, Now you're worried about the loser?'

Mother: 'Ah, so you see he is a loser and I spotted him immediately.'

Daughter: 'Goodbye, mother.'

Mother: 'Wait! Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over? '

Daughter: 'I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!'

Mother: 'If you never go out do you expect to meet anyone?"

　　小學爆笑英文小笑話：Blondes At A Lightbulb

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb.

One of them decides to call 911.

Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.

Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?

Blonde: Yes.

Operator: The power in the house in on?

Blonde: Of course.

Operator: And the switch is on?

Blonde: Yes, yes.

Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?

Blonde: No, it's working fine.

Operator: Then what's the problem?

Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

　　小學爆笑英文小笑話：Interview With A Blonde

The local sheriff in a small suburban town was looking for a deputy He posted ads in the paper, and sure enough, Lisa, a wonderful looking blonde, went in to try out for the job. She wasn't the sharpest nail in the bucket, but seeing as she had a natural charismaabout her, the sheriff gave her an interview...

"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Lisa, what is 1 and 1?"

"11!" she enthusiastically replied.

The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but she's right in a way..."

"Okay, Lisa. What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"

"Shucks, that's easy," the blonde replied. "Today and tomorrow!"

The sheriff was again surprised that Lisa supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.

He thought of his next question carefully to make sure there could be no equivocationabout the answer:

"Now Lisa, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

Lisa looked a little surprised, thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."

"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while," the sheriff replied with satisfaction.

So, Lisa wandered over to the salon where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview.

"How'd it go?" they all asked.

Lisa was ecstatic. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"

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