勵志散文：該和這些幼稚行爲說拜拜啦

摘要:20多歲的你已經是個大人了，有一些幼稚的行爲還是不要再做了。不管是那些不好的生活習慣、那些沒注意到的社交禮儀，還是那些在感情和人際關係處理上的幼稚行爲，該丟掉的就丟掉吧。是時候成熟起來啦!

　　1. Poor hygiene.

　　不講衛生。

As kids we often abhorred the concept of cleanliness. We relished wearing the same grass-stained, smelly pants for as long as possible. The thought of bathing made us shiver in ourVelcro strapped shoes. Now, it’s a different story. It’s remarkable how many folks out thereseem to think that deodorant is optional. I mean, technically it is but it shouldn’t be. They needlaws enforcing this. If the pungent aroma of your body odor is burning nostrils, and causingeyes to water, you should receive some type of ticket. Stink needs repercussions just as muchas loitering does.

小孩子一般都不愛乾淨。就算一直穿着草跡斑斑臭不啦嘰的褲子也無所謂。一聽說要洗澡，我們可能會趿拉着球鞋磨蹭半天。現在又完全是另外一回事了。竟然有很多人用除臭劑代替洗澡——我覺得真是無法忍受。要是除臭劑混雜着體味都能薰得人眼睛睜不開，那這種人真該被罰款。臭不啦嘰跟遊手好閒一樣令人討厭。

　　2. Interrupting conversations.

　　打斷談話。

Remember being five, and when your parents were talking to other grownups you’d walk overmid-conversation, tug on their shirts and repeatedly call, “Mom/Dad?” Yeah — that wasimproper then — but you were five, so it was fathomable. Some people are incapable ofcomprehending the notion of waiting their turn to speak. When this happens, utilize thesarcastic old saying: “I apologize, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning ofyours?”

記得5歲的時候，當父母跟其他大人談話時，你會走過去扯着他們的衣角不斷叫喚“媽媽/爸爸” 來打斷談話嗎?儘管很不禮貌，但你才5歲嘛，情有可原。有些人就是等不及別人講完再開口。遇到這種情況，可以略微暗諷一下：“不好意思，我話還沒說完，影響到你了嗎?”

　　3. Fighting.

　　打架鬥毆。

With the massive rise of ignorant and disrespectful individuals populating the world — verbalspats and altercations are inevitable. Contrary to popular belief, screaming obscenities andpuffing your chest out as friends hold you back, doesn’t reek of badass-ness. In fact, it looksrather foolish. If you consider the end result of a fight, is it ever good? Let’s consider thepossible outcomes:

現如今無知不講理的人越來越多，爭執和打架也不可避免。其實，爭執和強出頭根本就嚇不倒那些惹是生非的傢伙，反倒顯得你很幼稚。想想要是最後真動起手來，後果會好麼?結果可能會是：

You win the fight. Receive some high fives. It ain’t UFC, so you won’t get a paycheck oranything. And now you’ve made an enemy (or enemies).

雖然捱了幾巴掌，但你打贏了。可這又不是終極格鬥冠軍賽，就算你贏了也撈不到報酬或其他回報;相反，你卻樹了不少敵。

The cops come. You get arrested, which means fines, jail-time, etc.

警察把你拷了起來，然後罰款甚至蹲看守所等等。

You hit the other person in the wrong spot, accidentally doing significant and permanentdamage. Now you’re screwed.

你一拳擊中了對方要害，給人家造成了一輩子的傷害。這下你也完了。

The opponent hits you in the wrong spot, putting you on the receiving end of some seriousdamage. Now you’re screwed.

對方一拳擊中了你的要害，你得一輩子面對這些永久性傷害。你還是完了。

You lose. Everyone witnessed you getting your ass kicked, and now you’re ashamed.

你打不過對方。所有人都眼睜睜看你被人家整得死去活來，你羞恨交加。

They pull out a weapon and stab or shoot you. While I’ve never been stabbed or shot, I hear itstings much worse than your ego would after simply walking away from a physicalconfrontation.

對方用武器(刀槍)對付你。雖然我沒有被刀刺或槍擊的經歷，但我聽說這會讓你痛不欲生、死去活來。

　　4. Social networking your relationship.

　　網絡社交。

It’s such a stereotypically high school thing to do. Notifying Facebook every time you and your significant other have a squabble is a perfectly idiotic combination of obnoxious and immature. Couples’ quarrels are normal, but your friends/family shouldn’t be alerted about each one of them via Tweets and status updates. Yes, that includes the oh-so-subtle, back-and-forth song lyrics and quotes that are clearly projected at each other. Honestly it makes your relationship look shitty, and all of us wish you’d break up.

這麼俗套的事情也只有高中的時候比較熱衷罷了。要是你每次跟“親愛的他/他”慪氣就更新Facebook狀態，簡直是個傻瓜，既幼稚又令人討厭。戀人吵架很正常，但你也沒必要不斷更新狀態攪得親朋好友不得安寧吧?哪怕你用歌詞和引用之類的來含沙射影，也還是很煩人。而且說實在的，你這麼做只會讓人覺得你倆的關係很糟糕，還不如早些分手呢!

　　5. Mispronouncing pronounceable words.

　　拼錯不該拼錯的單詞。

Calling spaghetti “pasquetti” isn’t cute anymore. Speech impediments are one thing, but baby talk in an attempt to be adorable should stop entirely.

現如今把意大利麪(spaghetti)說成“pasquetti”早已不流行了。其實，語言障礙是一回事，但爲了裝可愛而嗲聲嗲氣說話的習慣卻真要不得。

　　6. Picking your nose.

　　挖鼻孔。

Seriously, just grab a tissue. If I walk in a room and you jerk your hand away from your face, then begin to roll something between your index finger and thumb, I know you’re guilty.

說真的，還是抽張餐巾紙吧!要是我走進房間一眼看到你正煞有介事地摳鼻孔，肯定會認爲你這人太沒素質。

　　7. Tantrums.

　　亂髮脾氣。

By now you’ve likely experienced enough scenarios not going your way, to take a loss and keep things moving. Throwing fits, breaking stuff, screaming, and having an attitude when the going gets tough isn’t going to solve anything. Circumstances may cause rough patches, but battle them head on. Don’t sulk and act like a bratty toddler, having an outburst in the store ’cause their parents didn’t buy ’em what they wanted. Also, breaking objects is a bad habit. You’ll regret throwing and damaging your phone, or punching a hole in the wall once the anger wears off.

長這麼大，你肯定遇過很多不盡人意的事情、遭受過損失，然後繼續前行。遇到困難就歇斯底里亂摔東西根本解決不了問題，反倒使情況惡化、爭吵加劇。別再跟討厭的小孩一樣，因爲爸媽沒買他想要的東西就直接在店裏大哭大鬧。更何況，亂摔東西是個壞習慣，等氣消了以後，你可能會爲自己摔壞手機或砸破牆壁感到懊悔。

　　8. Sending friends to talk to girls for you.

　　讓朋友爲你向女孩子傳話。

I remember sending my friend over to ask a girl for her phone number. She gave a firm, “No,” and stated that if I wanted to approach her, I needed to do it myself. Mind you, this was in fifth grade. If a girl who hadn’t reached her teens yet recognized a cowardly act, surely grown women will. Just man up, and go for it. The only thing worse than getting rejected is having to be informed of said denial by a middleman.

我還記得自己曾讓朋友向一個女孩要電話號碼，女孩果斷拒絕了，還說如果我想跟她交朋友，應該自己拿出行動來。——不過，當時我才上五年級。我認爲這麼小的女孩都能看出我的怯懦，成熟女性肯定也會。拿出男子漢的樣子，自己行動起來!比起拒絕，更慘的是從別人口中得知”你出局了”。

　　9. High school festivities.

　　參加高中聚會。

If you’re 20+ years of age, you should not be asking things like, “Yo, where the graduation parties at?!” Let it go. You had your four years to shine. The same thing goes for ex-athletes who attend games and critique the current team — attempting to relive their glory days. Move on, find a hobby, and live a grown-up life.

如果你已經20出頭，就不該再問“哎，畢業聚會定在哪裏啊”這樣的問題。過去的已經過去，四年時光不再。否則你就像參加比賽的往屆冠軍，一味地挑現在團隊的刺兒，企圖重溫以往的輝煌。是時候繼續前行了——發展某項興趣，像成年人一樣生活吧。