諾貝爾文學經典:《寵兒》第2章Part 4

"Ain't much. River mostly. And hogs.""Well, I never worked on water, but I can pick up anything heavy as me, hogs included.""Whitepeople better here than Kentucky but you may have to scramble some.""It ain't whether I scramble; it's where. You saying it's all right to scramble here?""Better than all right.""Your girl, Denver. Seems to me she's of a different mind." "Why you say that?""She's got a waiting way about her. Something she's expecting and it ain't me.""I don't know what it could be.""Well, whatever it is, she believes I'm interrupting it.""Don't worry about her. She's a charmed child. From the beginning.""Is that right?""Uh huh. Nothing bad can happen to her. Look at it. Everybody I knew dead or gone or dead andgone. Not her. Not my Denver. Even when I was carrying her, when it got clear that I wasn't goingto make it — which meant she wasn't going to make it either — she pulled a whitegirl out of thehill. The last thing you'd expect to help. And when the schoolteacher found us and came busting inhere with the law and a shotgun — ""Schoolteacher found you?""Took a while, but he did. Finally.""And he didn't take you back?""Oh, no. I wasn't going back there. I don't care who found who. Any life but not that one. I went tojail instead. Denver was just a baby so she went right along with me. Rats bit everything in therebut her."Paul D turned away. He wanted to know more about it, but jail talk put him back in Alfred,Georgia.
"I need some nails. Anybody around here I can borrow from or should I go to town?""May as well go to town. You'll need other things."One night and they were talking like a couple. They had skipped love and promise and wentdirectly to "You saying it's all right to scramble here?"To Sethe, the future was a matter of keeping the past at bay. The "better life" she believed she andDenver were living was simply not that other one.
The fact that Paul D had come out of "that other one" into her bed was better too; and the notion ofa future with him, or for that matter without him, was beginning to stroke her mind. As for Denver, the job Sethe had of keeping her from the past that was still waiting for her was all that mattered.
PLEASANTLY TROUBLED, Sethe avoided the keeping room and Denver's sidelong looks. Asshe expected, since life was like that — it didn't do any good. Denver ran a mighty interferenceand on the third day flat-out asked Paul D how long he was going to hang around.
The phrase hurt him so much he missed the table. The coffee cup hit the floor and rolled down thesloping boards toward the front door.

“沒多少可乾的。主要是河。還有豬。”“嗯，我從來沒幹過水上的活兒，可是所有跟我一樣沉的東西我都搬得動，豬也不在話下。”“這兒的白人比肯塔基的強，可你還是得將就點。”“問題不是我將不將就，是在哪兒將就。你是說在這兒還行？”“比還行要好。”“你那閨女，丹芙。我看她的腦袋瓜有點特別。”“你幹嗎這麼說？”“她老像在等什麼似的。她在盼着什麼，可那不是我。”“我不知道那能是什麼。”“唉，不管是什麼，她認爲我挺礙事的。”“別爲她操心了。她是個乖孩子。從小就是。”“是這樣嗎？”“哎。她就是不會出事。你看哪。我認識的所有人都死了，去了，死去了。她就沒事。我的丹芙就沒事。就是在我懷着她的時候，我明顯地不行了———就是說她也不行了———可她從山裏拉來一個白人姑娘。你再也想不到的幫助。後來‘學校老師’找到了我們，帶着法律和槍追到這兒來———”“‘學校老師’找着你了？”“費了會兒工夫，但他還是找着了。終於找着了。”“可他沒把你帶回去？”“噢，沒有。我可不回去。我纔不管是誰找着了誰。哪種生活都行，就是那種不行。我進了監獄。丹芙還是個娃娃，所以跟我一起進去了。那兒的耗子什麼都咬，就是不咬她。”保羅·D扭過身去。他倒想多知道一些，可是說起監獄，他又回到了佐治亞的阿爾弗雷德。
“我需要一些釘子。附近誰能借給我，還是我該進城一趟？”“不如進城吧。你可能還需要點別的東西。”一夜過去，他們已經像夫妻一樣談話了。他們跳過了愛情和誓言而直接到了：“你是說在這兒將就還行？”在塞絲看來，未來就是將過去留在絕境。她爲自己和丹芙認定的“更好的生活”絕對不能是那另一種。
保羅·D從“那另一種”來到她的牀上，這也是一種更好的生活；是與他共享未來，還是因此拒絕他，這想法開始撩撥她的心。至於丹芙，塞絲有責任讓她遠離仍在那裏等着她的過去，這是唯一至關重要的。
既愉快又爲難，塞絲迴避着起居室和丹芙的斜眼。正如她所料，既然生活就是這樣———這個做法也根本不靈。丹芙進行了頑強的干涉，並在第三天老實不客氣地問保羅·D他還要在這兒混多久。
這句話傷得他在飯桌上失了手。咖啡杯砸在地上，沿着傾斜的地板滾向前門。